Popsicles (Extended)
by Aledhwen
Summary: Naruto is devastated when he learns about Jiraiya's death. Kakashi wants to help him through the most difficult ordeal of his young life, but he makes a mistake while trying to calm Naruto down. In his pain and rage, Naruto feels betrayed and shuts the jounin out of his life. Kakashi has to win his trust again. - One-shot turned into a short story, T for strong language
1. Jiraiya Fell

_**Little one shot I have felt like rewriting and developping into a short novel. I hope you like it!**_

 **Chapter One : Jiraiya Fell**

The forest bordering Konoha was one of the most beautiful forests of all the Five Nations, which explained the name of the village of Konohagakure itself. The trees were high and strong, their leaves were painted in a rich palette going from emerald red to golden yellow. The light drifting through the warm air looked like shimmering hands coming straight from the clouds, touching the moist, grassy earth like a divine blessing. It was an immense forest full of animals and all sorts of vegetation going on with their peaceful lives within that little piece of Heaven, shielded from the madness of the human world.

However that day, the little piece of Heaven was somewhat troubled by vigorous screams.

" ** _Raaaaahhhhhhh!_** "

"That's it Konohamaru-chan! You almost got it! Come on ttebayo! **_Come on_** _!_ **"**

" ** _KONOYAROUUUU_** _!_ **"**

A family of offended birds rose in the sky to flee from the racket, in the quest for a quieter spot.

Down by the little stream that was happily crossing Konoha's forest, a brown boy was rightly holding a rubber ball into his hand, all his face contorted in concentration, covered in sweat. Beside him, a young, handsome man with golden hair, strange whisker marks and immense blue eyes was comfortably sitting down under a sunray, playing with a few yellow leaves that contrasted with the saturated green of the grass. He was smiling softly, watching the little boy who was roaring, sweating, screaming, pushing and swearing. Chuckling silently, he closed his eyes briefly and threw his head backwards to better catch the warmth of the sun, enjoying its comforting caress over his skin.

Ero-Sennin would be proud of him when he would be back. Not only had he succeeded in mastering the Rasengan the old man had taught him, but in addition to that, he was now passing the knowledge to his little protégé, Konohamaru. He couldn't wait for his old friend and master to come back. He hadn't seen him in quite a long time now, and he couldn't wait to hear the thunderous, barking laugh, feel the virile hand upon his shoulder drag him right to Ichiraku's for them both to share their adventures while stuffing their faces with their favorite ramens. Naruto loved to think about Jiraiya as the closest thing he had to a grand-father. He adored his slightly crazy, non-comformist behavior, his loud and annoying humour. Yet most of all, Naruto truly admired Jiraiya for his incredible will to cling desperately to his dream of a shinobi world where people would understand each other. In spite of all the horrors he had seen and lived, Jiraiya would never give up, he would never let himself be dragged down by the stupidity of humanity, and he would persist in loving it in its entirety.

Yes, Jiraiya was a freaking idealist, and Naruto truly felt inspired by his vision of life.

 _Hurry up, Ero-sennin ttebayo, I have so many things to tell you!_ , Naruto sighed in his mind, smiling like an idiot, until he heard a little thump followed by a most exhausted whine.

"Dame da yo, Naruto nii-san...I can't..." Konohamaru complained.

"Oh come on Konohamaru-chan, don't give up now!" Naruto said, jumping on his feet, his blue eyes shining like the water which was gently slithering close to them.

"But Naruto nii-san, I have been trying for three days already!"

"And I have worked for an entire week just to master the first step of the Rasengan!"

" ** _A week?_** "

"Ha! This is the price to pay if you truly want to become stronger, Konohamaru-chan!"

The little brunette contemplated his feet. Naruto smiled and kneeled down, putting his hands on the younger boy's shoulders.

"Konohamaru-chan, look at me."

The boy raised defeated, sad eyes.

"You **will** succeed, Konohamaru, I trust you, as Ero-sennin trusted me when he taught me that technique. Don't give up, I know you..."

"Hem. Naruto." a drawled, lazy voice sounded behind the blonde haired boy.

Naruto turned around.

"Shikamaru!"

The dark-haired, quiet ninja was standing a few feet away from them. The light was falling delicately on his handsome face, the golden rays mixing with the green colour of his Chuunin vest.

"Haa.." he said, his eyes closed.

"Nanda?" Naruto asked.

"Hem...I know this is troublesome but...Tsunade-sama wants to see you right away."

"Oh come on Shikamaru, I'm busy right now ttebayo." Naruto protested.

"Yeah, go say that to Godaime yourself." Shikamaru sighed.

Naruto put his hands into his hair, growling in exasperation.

"Damn that Tsunade no obâ-chan ttebayo! She will never ever leave me alone for one freaking second. I'm sorry Konohamaru-chan, keep training, you're on the right way. I'll be right back as soon as I have dealt with that old bat."

"Naruto, watch your language..." Shikamaru sighed.

"Ahh come on Shikamaru-chan, Tsunade knows I adore her."

"Mmh...If you say so..."

As they were heading towards the village, leaving an exhausted Konohamaru behind them, Naruto noticed that Shikamaru looked tired and more preoccupied than usual. He frowned.

"Shikamaru, is everything all right?"

"Mmh...Not really...But I can't tell you anything..." Shikamaru answered without looking at him.

"Ehh? Ah come on don't give me that ttebayo, what's going on?"

"Naruto, please don't start." Shikamaru drawled, already regretting his words.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Naruto exclaimed loudly.

"Ahhh, mendokusai nee..."

Shikarmaru sighed, knowing that Naruto would keep pestering him until they arrived in front of Tsunade's office. Yet he couldn't tell him. Tsunade had been very clear about that, she wanted to be the one to take responsibility for announcing the terrible news to Naruto, and Shikamaru was rather relieved with that. He knew Naruto was going to be heartbroken, and as much as he truly loved Naruto as one of his best friends, he didn't have a clue as to how to deal with such a blow. It was definitely better if he was surrounded by his closest friends...

...and Kakashi would be there. Of all the people who could comfort Naruto, Shikamaru was convinced that Kakashi was the best man for the job. For he was older and wiser, Kakashi knew Naruto better than anyone, and both men had become much closer since Sasuke had left the village. Shikamaru was convinced that Kakashi was now the closest thing Naruto had to a best friend, more than Iruka or himself.

After a walk that seemed to last for an eternity, they finally arrived at the Hokage Tower. As they were climbing the stairs, Shikamaru bravely kept silent, resisting the urge to punch Naruto through the wall as the blonde was indeed excelling at the art of pestering people and driving them mad with his never ending questions and talking. Yet deep inside, he enjoyed Naruto's vivid talk and protests. He liked Naruto very much, and he was very worried about how he would take what was probably going to be the hardest news he had been confronted with in all his life. He didn't want to see Naruto heartbroken, yet that was unavoidable, and Shikamaru wished deep inside that he could freeze time. He wished the stairs of the Hokage Tower would keep going on forever, just to have Naruto beside him chirping joyfully and so, so annoyingly, for he knew that incredible energy would most certainly never be the same once he had entered Godaime's office.

Yet much too soon, they had arrived at the Hokage's door, and before Shikamaru could utter a word, Naruto had practically destroyed the door, bawling like a trumpet.

"All right Tsunade no obâ-chan, what the fuck is going o..."

Naruto stopped dead in his tracks.

So did his heart.

 _God, what the hell is going on?_

The atmosphere within the office was so heavy it was palpable.

There was not a sound.

There were several people in the room, but they were all silent and totally still, frozen like statues.

They were all looking at him with eyes so sad Naruto felt his blood fill with dread.

 _What happened?!_

He did a quick visual check-up. Kakashi, Sai, Sakura, Iruka, Yamato...Ah, thank goodness they were all there. Tsunade was not going to tell him that one of them had died.

 _Then what?_

That's when he noticed a small, hunched figure with green, crinkled skin standing next to Tsunade. They had their eyes closed and their head bowed in pain.

Naruto's heart missed a beat when he recognized Fukasaku, the toad sennin...

...one of Jiraiya's great friends and mentor.

A terrible, insidious intuition rose slowly deep within his gut, crawling up his spine and compressing his chest.

 _Masaka..._

His blue eyes crossed the particularly worried look of his friend and mentor, Kakashi. The silver-haired man was looking at him with a mixture of concern and woe, and Naruto noticed that he was clenching and unclenching his fists, as though he was fighting the urge to pull him into his arms.

Anywhere he cast his eyes, Naruto met the same expression. Sakura's teary, green eyes, Sai's concerned stare, Iruka's hand pressed over his mouth, Yamato's bowed head.

 _No...It cannot be..._

His closest friends were here in the office.

His closest friends except Sasuke and...

 _Ero-sennin_...

The name of his shishou drifted through his mind.

 _Ero-sennin… Don't tell me that…_

Fukasaku's presence couldn't be a coincidence; neither could the painful, deeply sad expression on his face.

"Bâ-chan...What is this about?" Naruto almost whispered, terrified to know the answer.

Like Fukasaku, the proud, beautiful Konoha Hokage had her head low, and her eyes were dull, sad and slightly red. She looked incredibly tired and old. Naruto could tell she had been crying, and the dread in his heart intensified.

The certitude was horrible.

He was thinking about the man just ten minutes ago.

 _That's impossible. That's downright impossible ttebayo._

Tsunade opened her mouth.

 _No, I don't want to hear it._

"Naruto…"

 _I don't want to hear it._

He knew. His heart terribly knew what Tsunade was going to say.

He knew.

He gritted his teeth, bracing himself, ready to take the blow…

… and the words came.

The atrocious, devastating, unbelievable words.

"Jiraiya fell."


	2. Kakashi's Two Mistakes

**Chapter Two: Kakashi's Two Mistakes**

Naruto thought he was ready.

How wrong he had been.

The words sank into his heart with the violence of a piercing spear, as the joyful, beaming face of his master filled his mind, contrasting terribly with the abominable words, making them surreal, nightmarish.

 _Jiraiya fell..._

His great, thunderous laughter, filled his ears as ghostly echoes of yet another happy moment they had shared together, his booming voice and his eternal love for life itself. Jiraiya didn't belong to death. His entire being was so full of an extraordinary life that death couldn't lay her hands upon him. Naruto had never, ever thought of the day Jiraiya would die because something deep in his heart always told him that Jiraiya just couldn't possibly die.

 _Jiraiya fell..._

His enormous heart which had covered him with love and affection, which had accepted him as though he had been his own grandson, that heart which had been so proud of him, always... Naruto couldn't believe that that heart had actually stopped beating. He couldn't believe that that strong, brave and bottomless heart was now laying still somewhere, in the abyss of some cold and dark place. He couldn't believe that heart who had carried him for so many years was now silent and closed.

 _Jiraiya fell..._

The memories of the beautiful, crazy, booming aura, like an enormous sun shining forever, warming the coldest parts of this difficult, sad world, filled Naruto's heart again, and the blonde-haired boy clung desperately to them...Yet they were already drifting through his fingers like sand flowing in the wind, carried away by the absurd, unacceptable reality.

He would never experience all that again.

Because Jiraiya fell.

« No... », he breathed, closing his eyes, clutching his heart as though it was going to implode right within his chest.

He felt nauseous. Like if his brain was absolutely refusing to absorb and accept the signals Naruto's ears were sending.

"No...".

Tears were threatening to come right up to his eyes, but he swallowed them. No. It cannot be. No...Not Jiraiya...Not yet. Please.

As Naruto was desperately fighting with himself, refusing to accept the horrible truth, Kakashi was observing him carefully. His heart broke at the sight of the immense, incredible despair that suddenly filled his former student's eyes. He had never, ever seen such a torment into the beautiful, cerulean eyes, and Kakashi knew that from now on, Naruto would never be the same anymore. The blonde haired boy had a step backwards. Kakashi could tell he was feeling dull and dizzy, and the silver-haired man had to conjure all his will to prevent himself from lunging forward to catch the boy into his arms and engulf his devastated face deep into his chest where he would hide him forever.

Yet he didn't do anything.

Out of shinobi modesty, his arms remained pinned at his sides, whereas they were itching to reach out and wrap around the young man, his hands were dying to tangle into the blonde hair, his chest was yearning for the feeling of Naruto's face buried into it, and his lips were longing to say so many futile things to him, such as "Shhh, I'm here...I'm sorry Naruto...You can lean on me. Shhh...I'm here, I'm here, I'm here...".

He didn't do anything.

And Naruto kept sinking.

"When." he breathed out, his eyes still closed.

"Yesterday." Tsunade whispered with a dead, blank voice.

"Where."

"Amegakure..."

"How."

Tsunade hesitated.

"He went there to gather information about the head of Akatsuki. He was discovered..."

The blonde lowered his head for a moment, in complete silence.

 _She let him go alone._

At every heart beat... At every breath...He could feel the storm raging inside him intensify dramatically. The huge waves of pain were crashing against his ribs, tearing his organs, torturing his mind. It was just too much, too much to bear. He couldn't think anymore. His head was dizzy, dull and heavy. He thought he was going to collapse.

 _She let him go alone._

His hand clutched his shirt while his entire face contorted in pain. He felt as though his heart was being slowly ripped out of his chest and stabbed with a thousand of tiny, sharp needles. The tears started coming up to his eyes, and he fought hard to swallow them. The pain was immense. He had never, ever felt such a thing, and he thought he was going to go mad. This was too hard. He had to cling to something. He couldn't stand that pain anymore.

 _She let him go alone._

That was when the sorrow got slowly replaced by another powerful, terrible, destructing feeling.

Anger.

Everyone in the room was casting worried looks to each other, waiting for his reaction. Naruto had never been confronted with the loss of a loved one, at least consciously, and no one, not even Iruka and Kakashi who knew him particularly well, knew how he was going to react.

When they got the answer, they all felt their heart stop.

Naruto's fists clenched further into the fabric covering his wounded heart, and slowly raised his eyes towards Tsunade.

At the sight of the look into his eyes, Kakashi shivered.

His eyes were no longer blue, but boiling red.

Never. Never had he seen such a dark, heinous glow within Naruto's kind, cheerful eyes. The blonde was casting a murderous glare at Tsunade who did her best to keep her head straight despite the formidable strength of those eyes that were piercing her heart like a silent, but blood-curling scream of rage.

"You. Let him. Go. Alone." Naruto growled, his teeth clenched together.

Tsunade didn't say a thing.

Of course he was right. Jiraiya's death was her fault, and that was precisely why she had just spent an entire night crying alone in her office before finding the courage to summon the others and tell them what happened. Yet even though she sincerely thought Naruto's words were true, they were crushing her heart like a merciless hand of steel. And more than his hate, it was the sight of the terrible pain that was overwhelming his entire shaking frame that truly destroyed Tsunade.

Naruto's accusation was met by a heavy silence.

Sai and Sakura exchanged a worried glance.

Kakashi didn't move a toe.

He cast a rapid look at Yamato, knowing that the ANBU captain was already preparing himself, as he too was feeling that the situation was going to degenerate.

"Why the hell did you let him go alone, Tsunade ? " Naruto whispered, his eyes full of anger.

Tsunade flinched at the use of her name. No more obâ-chan. It was just Tsunade, the woman who had sent his beloved master right to his death. Naruto's voice was tinted with cold fury, and the blonde hokage started worrying at the sight of the boy's nails growing as well as his teeth.

"He would never have let you go alone."

Kakashi had never seen Naruto so deadly serious.

He noticed that he had even lost the use of his famous verbal tic.

A bead of sweat streamed down the side of his face.

He knew that was going to happen.

"You killed him." Naruto spat venomously.

That was when Kakashi made his first, heavy mistake.

" Naruto, stop this." Kakashi said firmly, thinking that he had to intervene to control Naruto's anger and avoid what they were now all dreading.

Shikamaru cast a surprised and somewhat horrified look at Kakashi.

 _Kakashi sensei, what the hell are you doing?_ He thought to himself.

The blonde turned his eyes to his sensei, and Kakashi's heart froze at the cold, betrayed glance Naruto gave him.

Within one second, Kakashi suddenly understood what horrible impact his words had just had upon Naruto...

...because the dreaded, boiling mantle suddenly appeared around Naruto's body.

The blonde fell to his hands, his teeth clenched, his eyes as dangerous as those of a wild, blood-thirsty beast. He planted his red, baleful eyes into the grey, worried one.

"Stop this?" He repeated with an offended, hurt tone.

 _Kakashi, you bloody idiot_ , Kakashi thought as his heart filled with ice under the heavy, wounded stare of that boy he loved so deeply.

"I can't believe **you,** of all people, just said that to me, sensei. How **dare** you?" Naruto whispered.

"Naruto..."

It was too late.

"After all these years you keep treating me like a child, Kakashi **_sensei_** , Naruto seethed, insisting on the last word. I have just lost a man I loved with all my heart, and yet you find nothing better than telling me to shut the hell up. **How dare you?** "

"Naruto, I...", Kakashi stammered, regretting his words so much he could have plunged a katana across his stomach right here, right now.

"Don't bother, _sensei,_ I get it. I have no say in the matter. My shishou was just slaughtered alone without anyone to help him, and yet I still have to shut it because what I feel or think is so futile, right, contrary to the legendary Hatake Kakashi's supreme intelligence? Naruto sneered viciously. There is still no room in that god forsaken shinobi world for actual feelings, right?"

The blonde was starting to shake, and the demonic mantle was bubbling furiously. Everyone in the room was frozen in horror and didn't dare move a toe.

"Naruto, I'm so…" Kakashi said, opening his arms to Naruto, and making a move towards him.

"Don't you fucking touch me! Naruto yelled, jerking back from Kakashi's arms. **How dare you? How dare you call yourself my friend?** After all these years, after all we lived together, I thought you had come to see me differently! I thought you had some respect for me! But in truth, I am still the stupid, loud and annoying boy, right, Kakashi?. And that's probably what I will remain to your eyes, right sensei? Or should I say to everyone's eyes? Because that's what you all think about me right? **RIGHT, MINNA?** " he exclaimed, casting a murderous glance to everyone in the room, like a cornered animal.

Kakashi's eyes widened. This wasn't like the Naruto he knew, who was confident in the love his friends had for him. That Naruto was much darker, and these words came right from a shattered, broken heart which made his demons come right up to the surface with a violence he had never displayed before. He cursed himself, thinking that he had just contributed in shoving the knife of Jiraiya's death deeper within his former student's heart.

Yet Naruto didn't stop there.

The pain and anger were twisting his thoughts, and suddenly his eyes widened with utmost horror.

He stared at Kakashi, Kyuubi's mantle still bubbling around him, and slowly raised an accusatory finger towards his sliver haired friend.

"Wait…You knew about this Kakashi, didn't you?" Naruto seethed with a low, dangerous voice.

Kakashi's heart missed a beat.

"What? Naruto what are you talking about?"

Naruto had a dark, bitter laugh, a laugh no one in the room had ever heard coming from that shiny, always happy boy. Shikamaru and Sakura exchanged a worried glance, both thinking that they were watching their joyful friend suddenly turn into a pile of anger, hate and resentment.

"I should have known ttebayo…Of course you knew about this and you kept me busy while he was getting slaughtered far away and alone, right, **Kakashi?"**

 **"** Naruto that is absolutely..."

"How could you do this to me? **How could you do this to me, Kakashi?"**

Naruto's entire body started shaking with anger as his voice was increasing progressively.

 _Oh God he's getting paranoid. Mendokusai_ , Shikamaru thought, biting his lips, preparing himself to use his kage binding jutsu to restrain that Naruto he didn't recognize anymore.

Kakashi raised a hand to Naruto in another attempt to calm him down.

"Naruto that's not true, I didn't know about this…."

He was interrupted when the first tail sprung right from the mantle, making Tsunade gasp.

" **You are the Hokage's right arm, how the hell could you not know about this?! So you contribute to sending my shishou right to his death and then you expect me to shut the fuck up?!"** Naruto bellowed with an impressive, terrifying voice.

"Yamato!", Tsunade exclaimed, rising from her seat.

"Wakatta!" Yamato said, joining his hands together.

"Naruto, listen to me. You are not thinking clearly", Kakashi said, feeling he was walking on the edge of a very sharp cliff, trying to reach Naruto who was dangerously dangling over the abyss.

That was Kakashi's second mistake.

The second tail sprung out of the mantle and the ground started shaking as Naruto's face was distorted with rage.

" **QUIT FUCKING AROUND WITH ME! QUIT LYING TO ME! QUIT TREATING ME LIKE A STUPID CHILD, KAKASHI!"**

"Fukasaku, Tsunade said firmly to the old toad sennin go back to Mount Myôboku and take some rest, things are going to get messy here."

"We're losing him!" Shikamaru shouted.

"Naruto!" Sakura cried out, lunging forward.

"Sakura, no!" Sai exclaimed, wrapping his arms around Sakura's frame. Without even realizing what he was doing, he turned her towards him and pulled her face into his chest, squeezing her shoulders and shielding her view with his torso. Sakura tried to disengage from Sai's arms but the dark-haired man held her tighter. Then Naruto, who was sinking deeper and deeper in the transformation, let out a terrifying, feral roar, and a blast of chakra exploded in the room. Sai turned towards the wall, coiled one of his hands into Sakura's hair to maintain her face into his chest, and rounded his shoulders to protect her from the blast.

In another shallow roar, the third tail sprung out of the mantle, and in an impressive whirl of chakra, the roof of the office flew right in the sky, torn apart from the building.

" **Naruto!** " Kakashi shouted, his entire frame frozen in horror at the sight of Naruto's skin being ripped from his flesh, as the young man was howling in a mixture of pain and rage.

The blonde was almost out of reach now. Kakashi turned towards Yamato.

" **Tenzô! Do it!** " he screamed

"Oh God, Naruto!" Iruka cried out.

"Mattaku!" Shikamaru swore, protecting his face with his arms.

The fourth tail came out, ripping the walls apart, and Kakashi quickly enveloped everyone in his wires, preventing them from being taken in the air with the rumble, while concentrating his own chakra in his feet to stay attached to the ground. Down at the bottom of the tower, the villagers that had come to wonder what was the cause of the screams scattered, terrified, at the fall of the torn pieces of the Hokage's office.

" **Fûinjutsu**!" Yamato roared.

Twelve wooden pillars rose from the floor and encased the kyuubified Naruto, who rose on his hinder legs, thundering and seething, biting and clawing at the barrier. Seeing that Yamato had hard time maintaining the sealing technique, Shikamaru reacted. He joined his hands and at once, his shadow extended and went through the wooden pillars, catching Naruto, smashing him on the ground and immobilizing him.

 **"Kage mane no jutsu...Seiko!** "

Kakashi couldn't bear the sight of Naruto being maintained on the ground with violence, like an animal trapped by poachers, struggling desperately. They didn't have the choice, but he didn't deserve that. Making sure everyone was safe and did not risk to fall from the tower, he released his wires and lunged towards Naruto, well determined to take him into his arms this time and hold him tight against his chest while the blonde calmed down and recovered his normal state.

Yet Iruka was faster.

"Suiton: Suisei no Yoroi!" he shouted, sliding through the pillars. His body covered with a layer of water to avoid direct contact with Naruto's scorching skin, and he pulled Naruto into a tight embrace from behind, wrapping his legs around his waist and his arms around his torso.

"Shhh, Naruto, it's me, Iruka..." he soothed while Naruto kept seething and howling into his arms.

Naruto kept struggling like a lion, but Iruka, Shikamaru and Yamato held on tight.

"Naru-chan, calm down. Shhhh, please...Calm down...Shhhh..." Iruka said, covering his howls, embracing him tighter in his arms.

He kept rocking him as slowly, progressively, Naruto's howls started to calm down.

"Shhh, it's over..."

One by one, the tails disappeared...

"Shhh..."

...the bubbling mantle faded out...

"That's it, Naru, come back...Shhh..."

...the claws and the fangs receded...

"It's okay, it's okay, I'm here..."

...and the blue eyes appeared again.

After a long time, Naruto was lying back into Iruka's chest as the man kept rocking him and shushing him.

As Kakashi watched them, he couldn't help but feeling his heart being gnawed by envy and jealousy.

He would have given anything at this precise moment to be the one holding Naruto to his chest, shushing him and whispering sweet nothings to his ear.

He should have done it right from the beginning.

He had been so stupid.

Again, he had made the mistake of abiding to the rules of remaining impassive in front of the Hokage, instead of just letting his heart speak and open his arms to Naruto at one of the worst moments of his young life. Plus, he had been so clumsy in his attempts to prevent Kyuubi from getting out that he had caused exactly the opposite. Not only had Naruto been deeply hurt by Kakashi's words, but more, he was now persuaded that Kakashi had betrayed him by keeping him away from Jiraiya while the latter was being sent to his certain death.

God I have screwed up, Kakashi said, pinching his nose between his fingers.

Tsunade came to kneel besides the boy and started reconstructing the skin that had burned right on his flesh, leaving him flayed and bloody. Fortunately for him, he was unconscious.

"Sakura, come here and help me", she breathed out, her eyes full of tears.

Sakura disengaged herself from Sai's arms who had been clutching her to his chest during the entire crisis. Shikamaru and Yamato released their techniques, wiping their foreheads and letting out a long sigh.

When after a long time, Sakura and Tsunade had succeeded in recovering Naruto's entire skin, they proceeded to a checkup of his vital organs.

"Daijôbu, he is out of danger now.", Tsunade whispered, while smoothing Naruto's hair like a mother, thinking deep inside that from now on, Naruto would probably hate her so much she would never be able to do that again.

"I will take him to the hospital", Sakura said.

"No, it's unnecessary. Iruka, carry him to his home and stay with him until he wakes up. He mustn't stay alone with this."

"Wakatt..." Iruka started, lifting Naruto up in his arms.

"Tsunade-sama." Kakashi intervened.

"Nanda, Kakashi?"

Tsunade turned towards the silver haired jounin along with Iruka who had Naruto cradled against his chest. Kakashi let out a sigh and bowed his head.

"Please...Let me be the one to take care of him. I have made a terrible mistake. He needed me and all I did was reprimand him..." Kakashi said, closing his eyes with guilt.

Tsunade reached out her arm and patted Kakashi's shoulder.

"It's all right, Kakashi. It's over now, we were lucky Yamato was there."

"Shikashi...Please, Godaime, Iruka-sensei, let me take him." Kakashi pleaded, reaching out his arms towards the unconscious Naruto.

Iruka and Tsunade looked at each other, puzzled. Kakashi insisted.

"I just want to show him that I'm here for him. I want to show him this was all a misunderstanding...I..I don't want him to hate me."

Kakashi looked so desperate, that it shattered Iruka's heart, so much that the young sensei took the initiative. He knew Kakashi quite well, and he could tell from the look in his eye how much he felt guilty with what had just happened. He himself had been a little surprised when Kakashi had reprimanded Naruto while the blonde-haired boy certainly expected comfort and support from him, his sensei, the man he looked up to and admired the most with Jiraiya. He took a step forward and laid Naruto into Kakashi's open arms.

"Wakatta, Kakashi, take care of him..."

Kakashi cradled Naruto to his chest and held him tight, closing his eyes.

"I will, thank you, Iruka-sensei…" the silver haired jounin whispered, before disappearing in a poof of smoke with Naruto in his arms.


	3. Broken Trust

**Chapter Three - Broken Trust**

When Naruto opened his eyes, he was lying on his bed, his hands on his stomach, a damp, fresh cloth on his forehead. The window was open, and the soft smell of summer was coming through, along with a slight breeze and the shining rays of a bright sun. The birds were singing, and Naruto could hear children laugh in the distance.

Why did his heart felt so heavy?

Why did he have the impression that he had just spent the night turning and returning, trying to escape from a terrible reality?

"Naruto?" a soft, familiar voice asked beside him.

Naruto turned his head, and his eyes met the mismatched, tired and worried ones of his former sensei. Kakashi wore a sleeveless shirt which enhanced the lines of his chest and abs muscles. Without his forehead protector, his beautiful, messy hair was falling around his face like a silver mane, running down his swanlike neck and underlining his angular jaw. Naruto could tell the man had hardly slept, and he had certainly spent the night torturing his hair with his hands.

They looked at each other, and the sadness and concern Naruto saw in the older eyes woke the terrible pain Naruto had desperately tried to forget. He brought a hand to his heart as he felt it shrink and shrivel up to the size of a nut into his chest.

 _Jiraiya fell_.

"No...Oh God, no..." Naruto whispered, hiding his face into his hands.

The abyss that had opened in Naruto's chest was terrifying. The blonde suddenly found it hard to breathe, as though he was slowly dragged down underwater. He had to resist. He had to find something to prevent the pain from swallowing him whole. He clutched his shirt and tried to calm his breathing down, to repel the screams howling in the chasm that tore his heart apart.

That was when Kakashi came to sit beside him and reached for his hair, caressing it tenderly.

"Shhh, I'm here, Naruto."

Yet instead of the kind, soothing words, Naruto remembered the same characteristic voice saying something completely different.

 _Naruto, stop this._

The harsh words, admonishing him as though he was nothing more than an annoying, overreacting child. The hard, steel words when they should have been words of comfort coming from that man he loved and admired, that man that had become so close to the best friend he had ever had.

 _What a joke..._

Naruto winced under the wave of anger that flooded his heart like liquid fire, and he repelled Kakashi's hand. The Copy Ninja's eyes tinted with hurt..

"Naruto I..."

"Uruse..." Naruto whispered.

He clenched his eyes shut, his face contorted in pain, tears burning under his eyelids.

 _I won't cry. I won't cry._

Kakashi felt Naruto's despair and his heart filled with a powerful surge of unconditional love and tenderness, as though he would die if he didn't get that devastated boy into his arms right here, right now.

"Oh, Naruto, come here..." he exhaled, sitting on the bed and attempting to pull Naruto into his chest.

Yet Naruto had a violent, repulsive move. He pressed his back against the wall and raised his hand towards Kakashi, hiding his tears and glaring daggers at him.

"Don't you touch me."

His voice was full of such contempt and coldness that Kakashi felt like he had just been stabbed right in the heart.

 _Damn it...What I feared the most is actually happening._

After taking Naruto from the Hokage's tower, he had brought him to the boy's apartment as he had been ordered. There he had sit on his bed with the blonde on his lap, and he had held him tightly, tenderly, whispering in his hair.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry Naruto...I'm so sorry..."

Naruto had remained completely still against his chest, and Kakashi had spent a very long time hugging him, apologizing, just focusing on the feeling of Naruto's head pressed against his chest, of his lean frame enfolded safely in his arms. He had felt an incredible urge to protect that boy against that alienating pain he knew so well, the pain of losing a loved one. While he had rocked the young man against him, Kakashi had sworn he would do everything in his power to help Naruto through that ordeal.

Yet he had truly feared he had lost Naruto's trust. The blonde now believed he was involved in Jiraiya's death, and the pain was twisting his mind enough to have him believe that their friendship was fake and that beneath it, Kakashi had always thought poorly of him.

How wrong he was...

Along the years, Kakashi had come closer and closer to the loud, unpredictable boy. Naruto had succeeded in touching his heart like no one ever had, with his simplicity and his extraordinary capacity to love even the people who had hurt him and ignored him for years. In addition to becoming more talented and stronger every day, reminding Kakashi so much of his sensei, Naruto was like a ball of light and warmth. Nothing could ever destroy his will, and even when he was down and sad, he would do his best to get up and smile, just to encourage the others.

Kakashi had often noticed how he concealed the pain of losing Sasuke behind a shining smile and the everlasting promise that he would bring him back. He had often observed him as he was comforting Sakura. The tenderness and devotion he had displayed in those moments, just hugging Sakura tight to him, not saying a word, his usually bright and happy face concentrated on taking Sakura's pain into his heart had reminded Kakashi of old, warm feelings he had been burying deep into his lonely heart for years.

Actually, Kakashi could say that Naruto had been a better sensei to him than Kakashi could have ever been. He had taught him so simple, yet so important things he had forgotten despite Gai's tenacious, relentless, exhausting efforts. Naruto had reminded him the soft, serene happiness of laughing with a friend, of hugging and being hugged. It had actually taken a certain amount of time until Kakashi had felt comfortable with Naruto's untimely and overwhelming hugs, but then he had come to realize how much he had missed that kind of physical contact. Little by little, he had also realized that he actually had a lot of love to give, and slowly, progressively, he had opened himself not only to Naruto but also to Sakura.

He had smiled sadly when he had remembered a scene that had occurred two years ago, as Naruto had left to train with Jiraiya, effectively bringing Kakashi and Sakura closer together. One day, as he was coming back from the memorial when he had spotted the pink haired girl sitting by the river, alone. She seemed sad and lost in her thoughts, and Kakashi had frowned, before slowly heading towards her. He had come to sit down next to her, silently. Sakura hadn't said a thing for a long time, until Kakashi had finally, awkwardly asked her something he had never, ever asked anyone.

"Do...Do you want a hug, Sakura?"

He had blushed, and lowered his eyes slightly, playing with a twig in the grass, and when Sakura hadn't answered, he had slowly raised his eyes and there his heart had missed a beat when he had seen that Sakura was looking at him with her green eyes full of tears, and an expression of incredible love and gratitude on her face.

"Oh, sensei...!" she had gasped before throwing herself against his chest, with such strength he almost fell backwards.

She had started sobbing and shaking like a leaf, covering his chest with tears and snot, and for a moment there, Kakashi had been completely frozen, not knowing what to do. Then progressively, his heart had filled with an indestructible will to protect that girl he knew so well. Slowly, gently, his arms had wrapped themselves around her thin shoulders. It had felt awkward at first. It had been such a long time he had actually hugged someone close. Slowly, gently, the deep friendship he felt for Sakura had lowered his defenses, and he had held her tighter, closer. His moves had become more and more natural, and he had ended up rocking her with a hand caressing her soft hair, pressing her face further into his chest, shushing her softly and whispering sweet nothings into her ear.

Kakashi had been thinking for a long time while hugging a sleeping Naruto to his chest, smiling softly at the recall of these tender scenes. Yes, Naruto had truly opened his heart and made him a better, more attentive man. Yet he still had his weaknesses and his demons, and he remained a human capable of making mistakes.

As the night had come by, Kakashi had finally laid Naruto down under his sheets and remained by his side, stroking his hair and soothing his agitated sleep. All night long, he had prayed for Naruto to recover his spirits on the morning. He had prayed Naruto would realize how wrong he had been, and that Kakashi had just been trying to prevent him from falling into Kyuubi's claws. He had hoped he would be able to redeem himself by pulling Naruto into his embrace and let him cry inside his chest while swearing him that he truly loved him, that he was there and that he would help him through this.

Yet now that Naruto was giving him a cold, death stare, now that he was confronted with that angry, betrayed look he would never have thought to find into his former student's eyes, let alone addressed to him, Kakashi understood that what he had feared the most had indeed happened.

He had broken something.

"Naruto chan..." He exhaled, desperate, reaching out his arms to the blonde who kept cowering up against the wall.

"Don't you freaking Naruto chan me, Naruto seethed, baring his teeth. You freaking hypocrite."

"I'm so sorry, Naruto, this was all a huge misunderstanding." Kakashi whispered, his eyes pleading.

"I don't give a shit about your excuses. That's way too easy. Get out of my home."

The voice was harsh, cold and demanding. Again, Kakashi vaguely noticed that there was no more "ttebayo".

"Naruto please don't do that." Kakashi implored, his deep voice full of a love Naruto couldn't hear anymore.

"I said get out."

"Don't shut me away from you. Please." Kakashi insisted.

Yet Naruto wouldn't hear anything.

"Fine, if you won't leave then I will." The blonde spat.

"Naruto wait!"

"Go to Hell!" Naruto screamed.

Before Kakashi had time to react, Naruto backflipped through the open window. Kakashi climbed on the bed.

"Naruto!" He screamed out of the window, watching as Naruto's lean silhouette was jumping over the rooftops without ever turning back.

"Kuso..." he swore, pulling on his hair with his hands.

When he raised his eyes again, the blonde had disappeared in the distance, and that was when Kakashi truly grasped the consequences of his unfortunate choice of words and more generally the consequences of his old, cursed habit of never showing his emotions.

He had broken Naruto's trust, and now he had to win it back.

 _Well don't stay here rooted like a fucking eggplant, go after him_ , he admonished himself.

And sighing and cursing himself, Kakashi jumped out of the window, in pursuit of his dear, stubborn blonde.

On his side, Naruto kept running, jumping over the rooftops as though he was carried by wings.

He didn't stop running.

He couldn't stop running.

He wanted to put as much distance as possible between him and Kakashi.

He was so angry at the silver-haired man he was shocked himself.

Deep inside, something kept telling him that maybe he was overreacting…but immediately he swept the thought away.

 _No. I am_ _ **not**_ _overreacting. Ero-sennin is fucking dead, and because of Kakashi, I was not there to help him. I am NOT overreacting._

 _Yes, but Tsunade was the one to let him go alone…_

 _I don't care. Kakashi should never have hidden such a thing to me._

 _Well, you know he might be telling the truth when he says he didn't know about this…_

 _Stop finding him fucking excuses, how the Hell could he not know about this?! Kakashi knew about Ero-sennin's plan. I'm sure of it. Godaime is telling him everything, he is her best counselor along with Shikamaru's father. How the hell could he have not been informed of this? He is lying to me and that's unacceptable._

And he kept running, seething, growling, muffling the protests in his heart telling him that maybe, just maybe he was wrong, maybe his immense, burning, exaggerated anger was hiding something else.

 _How the Hell could you do this to me, Kakashi?_

He felt tears of rage coming up to his eyes as he turned right towards the forest, without turning back.

Over the years, Naruto had grown very fond of that calm, powerful and kind man. Kakashi had practically raised him along with Iruka, but he had developed particularly strong feelings for the older man, and he didn't exactly know why. For starters, he admired him deeply, for his impressive intelligence as well as for his wisdom and his powerfulness. He had always been very proud of being the famous Hatake Kakashi's student. As the years had gone by, Kakashi had always been there for him, even if it was just to annoy him and order him to eat more vegetables.

A little bit like Iruka, Kakashi had been like an older brother to him. Yet Naruto had always yearned for Kakashi's recognition and approval, more than Iruka's, and to that day, he had always failed to understand why. It was yet another feeling than the will to be recognized by Sasuke. He saw Sasuke as his equal, whereas Kakashi was something more. He was his model, he was the person he knew he could always, always look up to, for anything, because Kakashi did always know what to do, in every situation. And whatever happened, Naruto trusted Kakashi. He knew that the silver-haired man truly loved him like family, and knowing how much of a lonely man Kakashi was, Naruto was absolutely delighted to have succeeded in reaching such a place within the copy ninja's heart.

Naruto shook his blonde head, wincing.

 _Naruto, stop this._

The words were ringing in his head.

 _Naruto, stop this._

These words were the very, the tangible proof that Kakashi was on Tsunade's side. He had tried to defend her rather than support Naruto in his grief. It proved Kakashi had been aware of Jiraiya's suicidal mission, and that he had backed Tsunade up by keeping Naruto away.

 _Naruto, stop this._

A tear of rage slid down Naruto's cheek. Kakashi's words had made his heart bleed a little more. With Jiraiya dead, Kakashi was the only remaining person Naruto truly regarded as his mentor, the person he always looked up to for any kind of advice, the only person that could help him achieve his dream and make him become stronger. And as his closest friend since Sasuke was gone, he would have thought Kakashi would be the first one to comfort him and support him through his grief.

 _Naruto, stop this_.

Naruto felt rejected. He felt betrayed. He felt like Kakashi had abandoned him.

He had abandoned him.

As he was jumping to another branch, something suddenly appeared before him and wrapped itself around him, making them both fall to the ground.

That thing had strong, bare arms, and a muscled, firm body.

As they both crashed hard on the ground, Naruto's eyes widened.

That thing had Kakashi's very characteristic smell of wood, mossy earth and rain.

His heart stopped.

He was in Kakashi's arms.

The silver-haired jounin wrapped his arms and his legs around Naruto and forced his whiskered face into his chest by diving a hand into his blonde hair and pressing his nose into his shirt, in the center of his muscled chest.

"Naruto, please listen to me."

 _I have to get out of his arms._

Naruto started struggling fiercely against Kakashi's embrace, pounding his fists on his chest, but Kakashi was holding him tight and the blonde knew he wouldn't let go. He succeeded in shooting his head up for one second before Kakashi pushed his face back into his chest, crushing his nose and lips between his pectorals and wrapping his arms around his head to keep it trapped there.

"Shhh, Naruto, Naruto! It's okay! Shhhh..." Kakashi said, tightening his arms around him and swallowing him into his embrace, putting his chin on his hair.

The tears started coming up to Naruto's eyes. The unacceptable pain, the huge chasm of his heart started howling again, dragging him underwater, suffocating him.

 _No. I have to get out of his arms. Now!_

"Shhh, calm down...Caaalm down..." Kakashi kept repeating, overpowering him into his arms while Naruto kept wriggling to get free.

 _Anger…_

"It's okay, it's okay...shhhh..."

 _Yes…I am angry at him._

"Shhh..."

 _I am angry at him!_

Naruto let out a roar, muffled in Kakashi's chest, and he managed to form sign with his hands. Soon, he disappeared in a poof from Kakashi's arms, replaced by a wood log, and re-appeared a few steps from the jounin. Kakashi threw the log aside and rose on his feet.

"Naruto, will you please stop fighting me?"

"Don't you come near me!" Naruto bellowed, stepping backwards, his hands joined together, ready to conjure his clones.

"Naruto-kun, I swear, I swear on my life I am sorry for my words, and I swear I didn't know about Jiraiya." Kakashi said, reaching out a hand to Naruto, trying to catch him again into his arms.

"LIAR!"

"Naruto just think for one second for crying out loud, we were right in the middle of an eight-squad mission when it happened! We had just received information about Sasuke's whereabouts, remember?"

"So?"

"So how the Hell was I supposed to know about what was going to happen to Jiraiya?!"

"That doesn't prove anything! You could have taken advantage of the fact that we received information to lure me out of Konoha while Ero sennin was sent to be sacrificed!"

Kakashi hid his face into his hands.

"Naruto do you hear yourself?! That is completely crazy!"

"Then explain to me why you were on Tsunade's side back in her fucking office! Explain to me why you told me to shut the fuck up when you should have been there for me!" Naruto screamed,

"I never told you to shut up, Naruto. I was merely afraid Kyuubi would get out. But I deeply regret talking to you that way."

Naruto sniggered.

"You should have thought about it before reminding me that you have never stopped seeing me like a fucking, useless idiot!"

Kakashi started thinking this was going in circles. He could feel that Naruto wasn't really there. He wasn't listening to him. Kakashi could have said anything, the blonde seemed to be clinging to his anger. It was just as though he was locked in a bubble of burning resentment and Kakashi's words were sliding on the surface, never reaching him.

"Naruto…Naruto, that's not true…You are my friend…My family…I…"

 _I love you, you freaking bakayarou._

Yet before Kakashi had a chance to tell him, Naruto said something that hurt him so much he fell on his knees and couldn't utter another word.

"Well you are neither my friend nor my family anymore, Kakashi. I understand now why you have always been alone."

As the heinous words were leaving Naruto's mouth, deep inside his heart, that contradictory, annoying voice was screaming.

 _What the hell are you saying, Naruto?!_

"You are not capable of doing anything else than hurting the others around you."

 _Stop, this is going too far! You don't mean what you are saying!_

"I thought I had succeeded in finding that heart buried inside of you, but I was wrong."

 _Why are you trying so hard to hurt him when you don't mean a word of what you are saying?!_

"Your heart has died a long time ago, and it will remain dead."

 _Stop it, STOP!_

"Get out of my life, Kakashi, you disgust me."

Something in his heart broke further at the sight of Kakashi's eyes filling up with tears, as the silver-haired jounin was staring at him incredulously. He suddenly looked so young, so lost, so sad. His eyes were the eyes of a lonely child with so many demons Naruto couldn't begin to count them. Persuading himself that he truly meant the horrors he had just told Kakashi and that they had nothing to do with the fact that his heart had just become much heavier, Naruto turned his back to Kakashi and left him, leaving behind him a devastated man who lowered his eyes to the ground, tears streaming down his face.

 **AN: God I hate myself. I love Kakashi so much, I shattered my own heart writing this. But bear with me, things might eventually come around!**


	4. Kakashi's regrets

**Chapter Four: Kakashi's Regrets**

His head was dull, slightly dizzy. The tears on his cheeks had dried, absorbed by his mask, yet his heart was still weeping. He hadn't tried to hold him back. All he could do was watch that young man he didn't recognize anymore fly away from him, never turning back.

He hadn't tried to hold him back, because deep down, he felt Naruto was right.

 _I understand now why you have always been alone_ , had been his words.

Kakashi closed his eyes and shook his head.

 _Guy...Kurenai...Asuma..._

 _You tried so hard to be my friends, and yet I have always rejected you. You have tried so hard to get me out of my own thoughts, of my own darkness. Yet I never had the courage to take your hand._

Kakashi's fingers clenched into the grass.

 _You are not capable of doing anything but hurt the others around you_.

Kakashi hid his face into his hands. He was still sitting in the ground, under the beautiful canopy of trees, not hearing the birds chirping joyfully, not smelling the soft perfume of the few leaves falling in his hair. The world outside had no more importance. Only Naruto's words were now overwhelming his brain, crushing his heart, preventing him from breathing.

 _Father...Minato...Obito...Sasuke..._

 _Naruto is right..._

 _What good have I ever brought you? Father, it took me so many years to actually understand your pain, and even after your death, I turned my back to you, just like the entire village had done in the first place._

 _Sensei...I couldn't protect you and Kushina-chan, you had to sacrifice yourselves and leave Naruto alone in this world to protect him and that ungrateful village._

 _Obito...If only I had accepted the friendship you were offering me...If only I had had the courage to actually hear what you were telling me. If only I had followed you to save Rin right from the start...Maybe I wouldn't have lost my left eye, and I could have avoided that rock, and I could have saved you both, without you having to sacrifice your life for me..._

 _Rin... I have never seen how much you loved me. I have never been able to give you what you expected from me. And even though I promised Obito I would protect you with my life, you died from my very hand. Your face still haunts me at night...as well as your blood on my hands..._

Kakashi winced in his hands. A few feet from him, a beautiful deer passed her head through the trees and watched his hunched, curled up figure silently, curiously. Yet Kakashi was still oblivious to the world. He was still pinned to the ground with the huge sword of Naruto's words buried into his heart.

 _Sasuke...I have been such a fool. I have never understood you. I was supposed to be your sensei and your friend, and yet I was oblivious to your suffering. I was the one who taught you the very weapon you used to almost kill Naruto. I tried to reach you, but not hard enough. I should have confronted you, I should have pushed you to yell at me, to fight me, and when you would have let out all the anger and pain in your heart, I should have held you like your brother used to do, like your father never did. I'm sorry Sasuke, I was most responsible in your choice to run to Orochimaru._

Kakashi took a shuddering breath.

 _Sakura...My sweet Sakura...I promised you I would fix things between Sasuke and Naruto. I promised you I would bring them both back to us, and that we would all form our Team Seven again. I lied to you, Sakura, and I failed you. Because of my negligence, Sasuke left you behind. And more, Sakura, I was a terrible sensei to you. I focused too much on Sasuke and Naruto, and I was never a great help to you, I didn't push you enough to develop your talents, and in the end, like Naruto, you decided to go train with someone else. I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..._

He remained for a long while curled up on himself, and finally he rose on his feet and started walking back to the village, stuffing his hands in his pockets and bowing his head like a sad, lonely child.

He wasn't going to run after Naruto anymore.

He couldn't stand the sight of the boy's heinous eyes, rejecting all he was. He couldn't believe that only two days before, Naruto was still looking up at him with such a proud, loving face. He couldn't believe that just two days before, Naruto was still seeing him as his model, still proud of calling him "Sensei" even though he had stopped being his sensei three years before. Yet Kakashi loved to be called sensei, especially by Naruto and Sakura. It made him feel like he still have a privileged bond with them, as if maybe, just maybe, he hadn't screwed it all up. It made him fight to live for them, to protect them and to guide them. However now, the "sensei" honorific had been spoiled in Naruto's mouth, covered with sarcasm and resentment. He might never see those beautiful, happy eyes anymore, those eyes which sent him such a warm, valorized image of a loved and respected Hatake Kakashi.

Buried in his thoughts, Kakashi didn't even think about where he was going. His legs were carrying him independently through the trees, as though they were detached from his brain. It was only ten minutes later that Kakashi did raise his eyes and wonder where he was.

The Memorial stone.

Of course...

He kneeled before the stone and bowed his head. His heart was throbbing painfully into his chest, his throat was tight, and he felt slightly nauseous.

What the hell had just happened? How could his precious Naruto turn into such a ball of hate and anger?

Where had he lost him? What could he have done to avoid this?

It all had happened so fast. Kakashi couldn't believe he had actually managed to hurt Naruto so much the boy would turn his back to their entire friendship, just with three words.

 _Naruto, stop this_.

"Kakashi-san?"

Kakashi turned around. Behind him was a young, handsome man with a pony-tail, a scarred nose, and gentle, tender eyes.

"Yo, Iruka-sensei..." Kakashi answered, wiping his eyes.

"Where's Naruto? "

"He's furious but physically fine...I guess..." Kakashi answered slowly.

The young man came to sit beside him discretely. For a moment, neither of them said a word, yet Kakashi realized that Iruka had a calm, soothing presence. He was a man that transpired kindness and innocence, and Kakashi almost felt like he was a dirty, bloody and battered wolf sitting next to a beautiful, white dove.

"A long time ago, I disturbed you while you were reading in a tree, yet you noticed there was something wrong with me, and you told me that you could listen to me if I wanted to talk about it." Iruka said gently.

Kakashi didn't answer anything.

"What's wrong, Kakashi-san? I can listen to you if you want to talk about it." Iruka said gently, purposely.

In his gentle, soothing voice, Kakashi could discern the long habit of dealing with children. Kakashi had often seen him comfort his students at every little torment, covering them with affection and tenderness. Yet he didn't mind being addressed with that same, sweet voice. Strangely, it was most comforting, and Kakashi vaguely thought to himself that Iruka had indeed the gift to approach wild beasts such as himself and soothe them only with his presence.

Kakashi hesitated for a while longer, and Iruka waited patiently, not saying anything.

"I...Naruto and I had a fight." Kakashi finally whispered.

"Ah...again...?"

"Hai...Again...But this time..."

Kakashi felt the tears come up again to his eyes and he turned his face to the left, ashamed. Iruka pretended he hadn't seen him. He knew how much Kakashi hated showing his emotions. That was the whole point of him wearing a mask after all... Yet Iruka was troubled. He had never seen Kakashi so miserable, and even seeing a single tear in his mismatched eyes was a very rare sight. In addition to looking as though he hadn't slept for days, he could tell Kakashiwas deeply hurt. His face softened in pain and he put a comforting hand on Kakashi's shoulder.

"What did he tell you, Kakashi?"

The silver haired man ran a hand into his messy hair, sighing heavily.

"Ma, a lot of things actually. But most of all he told me that he hated me, that I was not capable of doing anything but hurting the others and that I disgusted him."

His voice died in his throat and he buried his face in his long, slender hands, while Iruka was opening huge, shocked eyes.

"He really said that? Naruto?Our Naruto?"

"Hai..."

Kakashi's face was contorted in pain, and his shoulders were low, defeated. In addition to having a golden heart, Iruka liked Kakashi very much, and thus he was deeply concerned for him. Just the fact that the powerful, evasive jounin was confiding in him at his precise moment was somewhat strange. Iruka had been used to be the one going to the man for advice. After all, it was Kakashi who had opened the young sensei's eyes about Naruto not only being the Fox Demon's jinchûriki, but also a child in need of attention. He was the one who had protected Iruka many times in battle before the young man was assigned to the academy. He was the one who had been comforting Iruka with a gentle, awkward pat on his shoulder, swallowing his own pain, when sometimes he had surprised him crying in front of the Memorial where they were now.

He liked Kakashi as a truly precious friend, and his sadness hurt him.

"Oh, I'm sorry Kakashi. You know he certainly didn't mean any of his words, don't you?" the brunette told Kakashi, squeezing his shoulder.

Kakashi didn't answer, but when he raised his eyes to the stone where his loved ones' names were engraved along with those of Iruka's parents, the young man had a terrible feeling felt his heart tight in his chest.

"Don't tell me you actually believed what he said?"

Kakashi still wasn't looking at him. His eyes were fixed upon the stone. A single tear appeared at the corner of his red Sharingan and fell down his face, sliding along his deep scar which looked like the dried up bed of a river of regrets.

"The fact is that he's right, Iruka." He whispered.

"Yare, yare, come on Kakashi, what the hell are you saying?" Iruka admonished him very gently, still as though he was trying to comfort a crying child.

"He's right. My entire life is made of broken feelings and promises. In the thirty years I have lived, I have never brought any good to the world. Just death, pain and misery. He is right... He is so..."

Kakashi's entire frame went rigid when he suddenly felt Iruka's arm slide around his shoulders and pull him into a warm one-armed embrace.

"What are you doing?!" He asked, totally frozen while Irukadived his hand into his silver hair, adjusting his head against his shoulder.

"Ma, ma, daijôbu, Kakashi, it's just a hug. Come on, let yourself go. Stop restraining yourself all the time. It's just a simple, innocent hug. It's what we do to comfort people." Iruka soothed before squeezing Kakashi against him.

At first, Kakashi's eyes remained wide open, surprised. As he was staring at the stone before him, another scene came back to his mind. Someone else had done and said exactly the same thing, over fifteen years ago. That man had blonde hair and magnificent blue eyes.

His name was Namikaze Minato.

That evening, Kakashi was sitting on the bench outside the academy, immobile under the heavy rain. Everyday at the same hour, if he was not in mission, he would come there and sit on that same bench as he had always done when his father was alive, waiting for the man to come get him after school. Every evening, he would force himself to believe he was waiting for the gentle man that was Hatake Sakumo, also known as ShiroiKiba. Every evening, he would force himself to believe he was excited to tell his father about how he had surpassed himself every evening, as the hours went by, the sun was slowly fading out along with the crazy hope that maybe all of this had just been a mistake, a nightmare. That maybe, just maybe, he hadn't found his father dead on the floor of their living room, his stomach torn apart by his own sword.

That maybe, just maybe, he was not alone.

And every evening, Kakashi would remain there until the moon was high in the sky. Sometimes he would even fall asleep there on the bench, like a lost, abandoned animal.

That particular evening though, someone had come to sit next to him. The man had wrapped a warm, dry coat around his shaking shoulders.

"Kakashi-kun, a tender voice had said. It's cold here...Why don't I take you home?"

The young boy had clutched the coat around his shoulders.

"I'm fine, sensei." He had answered with a dull, dead voice, trying to wipe the tears ravaging his face by turning his back to Minato whose eyes had softened in pain.

"It's okay to cry when you are sad, Kakashi-kun. You don't have to hide from me."

"I'm not hiding. And I'm not crying. It's the rain." Kakashi had said with a shuddering voice.

"Of course it is...Come here…" Minato had said, wrapping his arm around Kakashi's shoulders and bringing him back to him, tucking his face against his chest.

"What are you doing, Minato sensei?" Kakashi had asked, his entire body going rigid.

"Ma, ma, daijôbu, Kakashi-kun, it's just a hug. It's what you do when you want to comfort someone. Come on, let yourself go. Stop restraining yourself all the time. I'm not just your sensei, I'm your friend, and I'm here for you. You can cry. There is no one else here but me."

"I'm not crying!"Kakashi had said fiercely but with a shaking voice who had betrayed him so obviously.

"Shhh…All right, all right, Kakashi-kun...All right...You are not crying, it's only the rain...Hush now…" Minato had cooed, holding the boy close to him, closing his eyes and rocking him softly.

Slowly, gently, Kakashi had closed his eyes, and in spite of all his will to remain cold and aloof, in spite of all his resolutions to never rely on anyone anymore, his heart had ached at Minato's contact. Without even realizing it, he had nestled deeper into his sensei's chest. As the huge, incommensurable pain had flooded his young heart with full force, his entire frame had started shaking with silent, discrete sobs, and Minato had just kept holding him, without saying a word. Kakashi had let out desperate, silent screams that no one else but himself could hear, and Minato had kept rocking him, rubbing soothing circles on his back, sitting there under the heavy rain, his embrace never faltering for a second.

And as he remembered that particular scene when Minato had gave him the love and the warmth Kakashi had lost so cruelly, he broke down in Iruka's shoulder. As the brunette rubbed his back softly, Kakashi turned his face and hid it into the chuunin's vest...

...and he let go.

Just like when he was a child, his sobs were silent, discrete, yet they were heart wrenching. Iruka frowned sadly and he put his other arm around the jounin, enfolding him deeper into his embrace and tucking his silver hair under his chin.

"There, there... It's okay, Kakashi-san. It's okay...I'm here…"

He held him for moment while Kakashi's frame was shaking in his arms. The jounin was exhausted, and Naruto's words had smashed his heart to pieces, dragging all his old demons back to the surface. Yet Iruka kept holding him softly, shushing him like a young child, and he couldn't help marveling at the fact that he was actually having the rare privilege to hold the famous HatakeKakashi, Shiroi Kiba's son, the legendary Copy Ninja, into his arms. It was like hugging a fierce, fantastic, but tired and lonely wolf which was so desperate for a little bit of warmth and comfort after long years of wandering in the snow.

They remained like that for quite a time, Iruka just taking Kakashi's pain into his own heart.

Then he started speaking again.

"You are being so hard on yourself, Kakashi. You keep blaming yourself again and again without realizing how much of a wonderful man you are. Everyone likes you and trusts you in the village. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if they asked you to be the next Hokage. Everyone makes mistakes Kakashi, you are no exception. And though you might indeed be gifted with exceptional capacities, you are still human, and life hasn't spared you either."

He paused for a moment, caressing the wild hair and squeezing Kakashi's bare shoulders as the latter let out a tiny, painful gasp.

"We are all struggling through our lives, you know. We are struggling to understand why we are in this world, what keeps us going, fighting, or just smiling in that harsh, crazy world. We are struggling to be good shinobi, good teachers, good parents, good men and women... But we can't be perfect in every aspect, first of all because perfection as we see it is nothing but subjectivity, a mental construction based upon a certain amount of values which are themselves inherent to a certain era, a certain way of thinking. We can't actually reach perfection, for it is unreachable. So stop trying so hard. Let it go, Kakashi, let it go, and just let yourself love and be loved in return for heaven's sake, for that might be the only actual thing that we can cling onto in order to avoid falling into madness."

Kakashi still said nothing, but Iruka could feel his silent gasps and his warm tears on the skin of his neck. He held him a little bit closer and kept stroking his hair, marveling at its thick, slightly hard texture. He knew now why Kakashi's hair could stand up so easily on his head, challenging gravity itself, as though it was always filled with electricity.

"You might not realize it, but even though you are not perfect, I can tell you that you have done a wonderful job at least as a teacher."

Kakashi snorted sarcastically into his shoulder.

"No I mean it Kakashi. First of all let me remind you that you were the first to have me recognize Naruto as a person. You changed his life that day as well as mine. And then you brought him so far, you made him turn into such a talented and devoted man... And yet you remained his hero. He admires you so much, Kakashi, so much that I used to be jealous of you because I have always felt how much the love he feels for you is incommensurable."

"Oh yeah, right, I really felt that love twenty minutes ago..." Kakashi whispered through a tight throat, letting out a long sigh, his sobs easing a little.

"Whatever he told you, I am absolutely certain he didn't mean any word of it. You hear me, Kakashi? I am certain of it."

Kakashi sighed again and disengaged himself from the warm embrace, wiping his eyes and turning away from Iruka so he could lower down his mask and wipe his nose. Even though Iruka couldn't see his face, he almost melt at the sight, as he suddenly realized how cute that man was under his armor.

"Actually that is what worries me the most." The brunette said, lowering his eyes to the grass.

"What do you mean?" Kakashi sniffed.

"Don't you think his reaction is completely disproportionate? Don't you think all of this is completely surreal? Don't you think being so furious at you just because you told him three unfortunate words looks very much like a far-fetched pretext, like a bad movie scenario?"

Kakashi lowered his head, thoughtful.

"Well that's a bit overreacted yes but...I don't know. He has good reasons to be angry at me..."

"Well that was his plan, to make you believe he had actual reasons to be so angry at you. He hit you as hard as he could so you would not realize how exaggerated his anger is, and thus so you would not realize the truth."

"What truth?!"

Iruka sighed.

"Naruto is hiding, Kakashi." Iruka said, smiling sadly.

Kakashi stared at him, his red and swollen eyes slightly wide.

"And I think you know what I am talking about. Naruto is hiding from the incredible pain he feels and doesn't understand. He doesn't want to recognize he is suffering because that would mean letting go, and he is scared. It's the first time he is confronted with the actual death of someone he loves, and he is scared by the chasm that opened in his heart. And we both know that feeling well, ne, Kakashi?"

Kakashi closed his eyes and ran a hand into his hair.

"Ha.."

Iruka went on.

"He is doing exactly the same thing as you have done for so many years, Kakashi-sensei. He doesn't know how to deal with the pain. So he is concealing it, denying it, and he will try to shut the others away because he is terrified."

Kakashi had a bitter laugh.

"You seem to know me very well..."

"Well given that Naruto was so fond of you, I have been observing you for a couple of years, you know." Iruka smiled softly.

"Sou desu ka..." Kakashi sighed gently.

"Anyway...There is one person who is particularly dangerous in Naruto's eyes because that person knows him so well they can literally touch the deepest, most painful parts of his heart. That person is you, Kakashi. And from the start, he is torn apart between his desperate need for you to be there for him, and on the other hand his fear to face that abyssal, unknown pain. It's as though he was yearning for you to hug him as well as dreading it at the same time."

Kakashi's eyes filled with a strange glow Iruka could not interpret. It was a mixture between immense sadness and indestructible love. In his mind, Kakashi remembered how Naruto had seemed to be panicking when the silver haired jounin had caught him in his arms and enveloped him tight to his chest. Absent mindedly, his bare arms came to wrap themselves around his torso, remembering the feeling of Naruto's face buried into his chest, of his body wriggling against his, of his hair under his hand.

Iruka was right...Naruto had actually panicked.

"Your mistake back in Godaime's office was to give him the apparently perfect pretext to shut you away from him, by convincing himself you were his enemy and that he hated you. The shock was so hard on him that he reacted without thinking, like a survival instinct. The pain was just too immense to bear, and you gave him the perfect distraction he could cling onto to avoid falling into the abyss: anger."

Kakashi still said nothing, but Iruka could see the light of sudden comprehension is eyes.

"But that's not all... If only you had left it at that. If only you had just left him alone but of course you didn't, Kakashi, because you are such a good friend, and you just love him too much. You struggled to reach him...and that's when he decided that he needed to do everything in his power to make you hate him, by hitting your worst weaknesses."

"How come I haven't understood this?"

Iruka patted Kakashi's shoulder.

"Here you are, blaming yourself again. Naruto knows you by heart. You two are so close he can almost read that tricky mind of yours. And as he knows you are a bloody genius, the only way to effectively fool someone like you is to hit your heart, not your mind, for he knows he can't beat you there."

Kakashi nodded absent mindedly as he was slowly realizing how he had brilliantly been taken for a ride. He thought again about what had just happened with Naruto. At this moment, he had already felt that something was awfully wrong, as though Naruto wasn't himself, as though he was just too aggressive to be sincere…

…as though he was trying to persuade himself of his own words.

"Masaka..." Kakashi breathed out, slapping his forehead with his palm. God that was so obvious now.

"Actually I reckon he did the same thing when he made you believe that he was going to spoil the end of Icha Icha Tactics to make you lose your means and panic so he and Sakura could steal the bells" Iruka giggled.

Kakashi blushed a little at the memory, but then he giggled slightly, thinking about how much he and his cherished students had laughed on that day. Tsunade had been charging him with estimating Naruto and Sakura's progress over the past three years in order for them three to form their actual team Kakashi led as the Captain. After several hours of fierce, relentless fight, Naruto had come with a diabolical plan to prevent Kakashi from using not only his mind, but also his hands and his Sharingan. As Kakashi had been waiting for them under the moonlight, they had suddenly leapt on him like owls on a mouse.

"Listen to this, Kakashi-sensei!" Narutohadscreamed.

"Eh?"

"At the end of IchaIcha Tactics, we learn that the hero actually…"

" **Ehhh?! No! No, everything but this!** "

He had covered his ears, an expression of utter horror displayed all over his face, but then his eyes had widened even more.

" **Shimatta! Even with my ears covered, I can automatically read on his lips with my Sharingan!** " he had thought frantically, before whimpering and curling up on himself against the trunk of the tree behind him.

When he had opened his eyes hesitantly, fearfully, he had heard his students snigger. His hand had searched for the bells at his belt, and there he had let out a little cry of surprise, before raising his eyes to Sakura and Naruto who were triumphantly waving the bells.

"A ninja must always exercise reasonable care.",Naruto had recited, smiling like a devious imp.

"Ne, **sennnsei?** "Sakura had added in a nagging voice.

Kakashi had sighed and ran a hand into his hair.

"Ma, you got me…!", he had confessed, before all the three of them had burst out laughing under the moonlight.

Kakashi chuckled childishly at the memories.

"God he told you that too, ne?", he asked Iruka.

"Oh yes he did. He was so proud of himself that he bragged about it for hours."

Kakashi chuckled again and Iruka's heart warmed at the sight of the Copy ninja smiling so fondly when he thought about his cherished, boisterous blonde.

"Ma, that boy is definitely most unpredictable. He can be as dense as a brick as well as sly as a fox".

"Well about the sly part, as I told you, he learned from the best, Kakashi-sensei. You were a brilliant teacher to him."

Kakashi raised his eyes to Iruka and he gave him a grateful, soft smile. The young man couldn't help thinking that even with his mask, the silver haired man was very handsome, and deep behind his mismatched pupils, Iruka could feel the immensity of Kakashi's heart. That man had so much love to give, so much tenderness to share.

"Ma…What should I do, Iruka-sensei?" Kakashi asked with a sigh.

"Well, I am going to tell you exactly the same thing as you did so many years ago to a young, inexperienced school teacher who didn't know how to deal with a particularly boisterous, stubborn child."

They both looked at each other and Iruka squeezed Kakashi's shoulder in his hand, before repeating these words he had never, ever forgotten.

"You are the only one who can reach Naruto's heart, Kakashi-san. Don't give up, I am certain that you will find the way."

Kakashi's eyes filled with so much warmth and gratefulness that Iruka almost thought he was going to hug him. Yet instead, Kakashi put his slender hand over the one Iruka was laying on his shoulder and he squeezed it firmly while diving such passionate, determined eyes into the brunette's that the latter's heart missed a beat.

"Wakatta. As our Naruto would say, I will never give up."


	5. Isolation

**Chapter Five: Isolation**

A few days passed after Kakashi confided in Iruka. Even though that conversation had been absolutely revelatory for Kakashi, the Copy Ninja decided nonetheless to be extra careful in his way to approach Naruto. Indeed, Kakashi was a thoughtful, intelligent man, and he was used to planning his actions thouroughly. He truly felt as though Naruto was stuck into his own mind which was like a fortress, and he had to infiltrate it slowly and gently in order to prevent it from engulfing Naruto further into its depths, where Kakashi was afraid he would eventually fail to reach him. Thus at first, Kakashi made himself discrete, and he simply observed the boy.

After their fight, Naruto spent three days alone, locked in his apartment.

For three entire days, no one saw his face, and for three entire days, Kakashi stayed on his roof, feeding himself with soldier pills, looking through the ceiling from time to time with his Sharingan, just to make sure Naruto's chakra was still there.

And for three entire days, Naruto remained into his bed.

He didn't cry.

He didn't scream.

Actually, he didn't utter a sound.

He just remained immobile in his bed, not eating, not drinking, not moving.

More than once, Kakashi, worried, had to restrain himself from poofing right into his bedroom, climbing next to him into his bed and engulfing him into his embrace. He just wanted to whisper in his ear that he was there, always.

That he was not alone.

That even if Naruto hated him, even if he pushed him away, Kakashi would hold on.

He would be the anchor, the rock Naruto could cling onto while he was lost in the storm.

Yet he didn't do anything.

Now that he truly understood Naruto's feelings, he knew he had to give him time. He knew the blonde had to have some time alone, and Kakashi wanted to respect that, even though he was determined to never let the boy out of his sight.

Sakura, Sai, Shikamaru, Iruka, Ino, Chouji…All their friends tried their best to get him to open the door, but without any success. When Sakura threatened to destroy the door, as she was worried to death about Naruto's health, Kakashi got down from the roof, and before any of them could say anything, he raised his index in front of his mouth to silence them. He feared that Naruto would try and chase him away if he knew that the man was literally camping on top of him.

He leaned forward and whispered into Sakura's ear:

"Give him some time. Don't be afraid, Sakura-chan, I'm watching over him. Always."

The kunoichi raised her eyes to him, then to the door, and then she bowed her head sadly.

"All right…Thank you, Kakashi-sensei…" she whispered, before leaving slowly.

The others nodded their head towards Kakashi and followed her, Ino casting an arm around Sakura's defeated shoulders. However Shikamaru stayed behind for a minute, concern evident on his face.

"Don't you leave him alone in there, Kakashi-sensei." He said very seriously.

Kaksahi laid a hand on the young man's shoulders.

"You can count on me, Shikamaru."

The young man nodded curtly, then went after the others, trying his best to raise Sakura's spirits by telling her that it was okay and that Naruto will eventually get out because after all, he couldn't live without ramen.

On the fourth day, Kakashi almost fell down from the roof when he heard Naruto's door bang open. He had been caught up in his book for a while and he hadn't realized that Naruto had got up, taken a shower and dressed up very quickly, before dashing out of his apartment.

"Shimatta." Kakashi swore.

He didn't have time to go home take a shower or change. He focused on Naruto's chakra and felt that it seemed to be heading towards the Hokage Tower. Joining his hands, Kakashi disappeared from the roof and reappeared almost instantly in Tsunade's office, making the blonde woman choke violently on her sake.

"WHAT THE HELL?" She roared.

"My apologies, Tsunade-sama but..."

"You'd better have a hell of a good reason to poof your sorry ass right in my office like that, Hatake!"

Kakashi's ears twitched and he turned around to face the door.

"Precisely, the reason is coming…If you'll excuse me…" he said hastily.

Just a second before Naruto burst into Tsunade's office, Kakashi graciously jumped through the window and pressed his back against the wall, hiding from sight. Naruto seeing him with Tsunade would certainly not be a good idea in his opinion. Thus he remained there on the roof, listening carefully.

Naruto burst into Tsunade's office, and the Hokage's protest died down in her throat when she saw the dark circles under the blue eyes as well as the slight loss of weight. Yet the main changed she noticed was within Naruto's usually cheerful and vivid eyes.

They were now dull and hard as steel, boring holes into her.

Before she could say anything, Naruto spoke in a voice that matched the iciness in his piercing blue eyes.

"I'm leaving."

On the roof, Kakashi's eyes widened when he heard that voice, wondering whether his ears were tricking him or whether it was truly Naruto talking in there.

"Nani?" Tsunade gasped.

« I'm off to retrieve his body in Amegakure."

Kakashi choke.

In the office, Tsunade remained horrified for a moment, staring at a very determined Naruto.

Then she shook her head and pulled herself together. She had feared this, and now she had to do everything she had in her power to hold Naruto back. On the roof, Kakashi was holding his breath, preparing to intervene, and he was already setting up plans in his head to stop Naruto from leaving at all costs.

"Err...Look Naruto..." Tsunade started.

"I don't care about your opinion. I'm going anyway, so the best you can do for me is giving me all the info you have."

Kakashi could feel the hostile, tense atmosphere in the room, and he told himself that he would have never thought Naruto would be the one to create such an ambience.

Tsunade sighed but she rose to her feet and remained firm while holding Naruto's gaze.

"That won't be necessary, Naruto. I have already sent Fukasaku to retrieve the body. It is going to take time though, as he…Well he fell in the depths of the lake and …

"Then I'll go help him." Naruto snapped.

"You can't, Naruto, Fukasaku and Shima have the required abilities to search such depths, plus they will have to be extremely discrete as I suspect Amegakure is the heart of the Akatsuki. And to finish, they are actively searching for you, Naruto, and from what happened to Gaara, I suppose you realize that if they get their hands on you, the world is over and…well he would have died for nothing".

Naruto said nothing. He seemed completely lost, as though he was trying to say something but didn't have a clue as to how to actually express it. Feeling that she might convince him, Tsunade went on.

"Please trust them. They will find him."

There was a long silence during which Naruto just kept looking at the ground, clenching and unclenching his fists. Then he raised his eyes again.

"Fine. Then give me another mission. I want to leave on a mission." He said firmly.

Kakashi frowned. What did the boy have in mind?

Tsunade sighed and raised her hands in a calming motion.

"Look Naruto, I have just told you that the Akatsuki is looking for you more than ever. That's why I would like to keep you inside of Konoha…Do you understand?"

Kakashi held his breath. He would probably have said the same thing. In addition to the actual threat of the Akatsuki, Naruto was obviously very disturbed and it would be most unwise to let him leave the village where his friends, and among them Kakashi, could keep an eye on him and be there for him on the day he would finally burst. He focused on feeling Naruto's chakra in the room behind him, and frowned. It was tormented, and he had a lot of trouble reading it. If Naruto was unpredictable in his usual state, then now he was like a bomb ready to explode any moment.

And indeed, he answered something most unexpected.

"Then give me a mission within Konoha's boundaries. I can't stay home doing nothing. I need to do something. I need..."

Naruto bowed his head and closed his eyes. His wrists clenched again. Tsunade waited. She could practically feel Naruto's contradictory thoughts and feelings.

"Give me something to do, ttebayo." He said with a hint of despair pointing in his voice.

Kakashi started at the little word that was his signature, and which had seemed to have disappeared from Naruto's vocabulary. Something in his heart stirred at the thought that this word was like a discrete yet powerful scream for help buried into Naruto's unconscious. Tsunade felt the same way: she was touched by that sudden proof of vulnerability that Naruto was trying hard to hide behind that mask of authority and indifference that didn't suit him at all.

She sighed and went through her files.

"Well...all I have for now are the usual chores you hate..."

"That'll do. I'll start today."

Tsunade looked at him, surprised, but said nothing, handing over the scroll on which was written the order to take care of the potato fields on the southwest border of Konoha, and sitting back down to her desk.

While he was examining the order, silently, the Hokage decided to take a risk.

"You look awful Naruto.", she said softly.

Kakashi bit his lip, anxious. She was walking on thin ice. One word out of place and it might turn into a disaster.

The blonde didn't answer.

Yet the Hokage didn't give up.

"Look Naruto, I know you need to keep your thoughts off Jiraiya but maybe we should talk about it."

"Oh for the love of..." Kakashi swore, hiding his face into his hands.

There it was.

The word out of place.

Saying Jiraiya's name in front of Naruto when the blonde had clearly not accepted his death yet was an absolute mistake.

Indeed, at his shishou's name, Naruto's eyes flew up and pinned Tsunade to her chair.

"Don't. You. Say. His. Name. Before. Me." He seethed.

Hartred.

Resentment.

Anger.

The feelings pierced Tsunade's heart like daggers, so much that she lost all her means. Konoha's most tempered Hokage couldn't say a word under the baleful look the boy she loved like her grandson was giving her.

Without any other word, Naruto turned to the door to leave.

Before he slammed the door behind him though, the blood started boiling in Tsunade's veins.

Naruto was being so unfair with her.

Jiraiya was her best friend, and she was as devastated by his death as Naruto was. He didn't have the right to claim he was the only one to suffer. They should support each other through that ordeal. She felt like she really didn't have the strength to cope both with Jiraiya's death and Naruto's hartred towards her. She felt that her heart was going to burst, the pain was just too strong.

"He was my friend too, you know." She said, her hands shaking.

Naruto sniggered.

"Yeah. Well my ass is glad you're not my friend anymore."

"Don't you think you are the only one in pain here, Naruto, I hate to break it to you but the world isn't revolving around your little selfish person!" Tsunade flared.

On the roof, Kakashi winced and pinched the bridge of his thin nose between his index and thumb.

Damn, it might have been a mistake to leave them too together.

In the office, Naruto flip-flopped and crashed both his fists on the desk with formidable violence.

"Selfish person? **I** am the selfish person?! I am not the one who sent him right into Akatsuki's arms while I was sitting on my _fucking_ ass in my _fucking_ office drinking _fucking_ sake because it was the only _fucking_ thing I was _fucking_ capable of!"

Tsunade crashed her fists too and placed her nose right in front of Naruto's heinous face.

"I will _not_ justify my actions to you, Naruto, I am the Hokage and you are a Genin...

"...but you were supposed to be his friend for fuck's sake, Tsunade!" Naruto roared.

"I was not supposed to, I _was_ indeed his friend, Naruto! And he decided to go by himself, I didn't order him anything!"

"But you let him go all alone!" Naruto shouted.

"BECAUSE JIRAIYA ASKED ME TO!"

" **DON'T SAY HIS FUCKING NAME!** " Naruto hurled with a fantastic voice.

Suddenly something appeared on the desk right between them, making them both gasp in surprise and jerk backwards. Silver, spiky hair got progressively out of the smoke, as well as a nonchalant, waving hand.

"Yooo. I'm sorry, am I interrupting?" Kakashi asked innocently, crouching on Tsunade's desk and sprawling ink and sake everywhere on her papers.

"What the f..." Tsunade breathed out, furious.

Yet his entrance had the expected effect.

In addition to stopping Naruto from tearing Tsunade's throat apart, the blonde immediately bristled like a cat and backed away from the desk, seething.

"Great, now the team is complete. I am out of here before I throw up. I'll leave you two to plot about which "friend" you are going to sacrifice next."

"Naruto!" Tsunade shouted.

"Tsunade-sama..." Kakashi whispered discretely.

"Yes. _Stop this, Tsunade-sama_." Naruto seethed purposely, glaring at Kakashi before disappearing behind the door.

As soon as he had vanished, Tsunade let out a long sigh and fell back in her chair, pouring herself a glass of sake she swallowed in one gulp. Slamming the glass back on the desk, she stared at the door.

"God, what the hell just happened?"

"It is going to take time..." Kakashi sighed.

"Mmh… For starters, get your ass off of my desk." Tsunade ordered, waving a hand as though too shoo a fly out of her face.

"Oh! Sumimasen…" Kakashi said hastily, leaping off the desk and trying to put some order in the mess he had caused, smiling sheepishly behind his mask. Yet Tsunade didn't seem to care about the ink that kept dripping on the floor. Her honey eyes were focused on her glass, and she looked sad and defeated.

"He hates me so much…" she whispered, her voice broken.

Kakashi's face saddened. He came a little bit closer to the Hokage. He felt like reaching out and laying a comforting hand on her forearm, yet he restrained himself. After all, she was his superior. Instead, he went for words.

"He doesn't hate you, Tsunade-sama. He is just persuading himself he does."

"What?" Tsunade asked, looking at him without understanding.

Kakashi took a deep breath and told the Hokage about the fight he had with the blonde, and about the discussion he had with Iruka. Although he thoroughly avoided the crying part, he told her about how Iruka had deciphered Naruto's exaggerated reaction. He told her how he was now convinced that Naruto was clinging to his extraordinary anger, how he had found within Kakashi the best person to blame.

"And his anger is feeding increasingly on any pretext we might give him. You could have said anything to him, Hokage-sama, his anger would have twisted it in order to grow. He is not himself, I am certain of it." Kakashi concluded.

"Sou desu ka..." Tsunade breathed out, crossing her arms.

She thought for a moment.

"Kakashi, we have to do something or Naruto's anger will eat him alive, and in addition to the fact that we both love him too much to see that happen, we also know what kind of disaster it could imply..."

They both looked at each other, their minds drifting to an imaginary, apocalyptic scene where Naruto would be totally engulfed by Kyuubi, and where the Yondaime's seal would be broken.

"Hai. Yet I think you should leave that task to me. I am convinced now that I am the only one who can bring him back, but to that end I have to proceed carefully. I want to approach him progressively to win back his trust and get into his heart. However, I want to keep an eye on him at all times. That's why, Godaime-sama, I officially request the permission to be temporarily removed from active duty."

Tsunade rose up on her feet.

"Permission denied" she said, shaking her head.

Kakashi opened wide eyes.

"Nani?"

"I already have an official mission for you."

"But..."

"Silence!" Tsunade snapped.

Under Kakashi's puzzled eyes, the Fifth Hokage took a deep breath and declared in a loud voice.

"Captain Hatake Kakashi."

"Hai." Kakashi answered, straightening up, standing to attention.

"This is an official mission. I hereby order you to watch over Uzumaki Naruto and to find a way to get to him in order to prevent him from falling within Kyuubi's hands. This is a S-Rank mission, which will decide Konoha's fate."

 _Naruhodo ne ...Tsunade-sama just needed to make it an official mission,_ Kakashi thought, relieved.

Kakashi was indeed the current best shinobi of Konoha, and he was very often solicited not only by Konoha but also by the villages of the five nations. In order to be able to refuse a mission for which he might be requested, and because Tsunade always had to justify her decisions to the Elders, she had to make sure Kakashi was indeed already appointed to another mission of at least equivalent importance. Thus by declaring the task of watching over Naruto to be an S-Rank mission, she was giving him the possibility to take his time and focus entirely on Naruto.

His heart filling with affection for the blonde woman, Kakashi raised his hand to his head, saluting officially.

"Hai, Godaime sama."

He bowed, and turned on his heels. However as he was heading towards the door, Tsunade's voice rose again.

"Kakashi."

The silver-haired jounin turned around.

"Yes, Tsunade-sama?"

His eyes met hers, and the emotion he found into those honey pupils troubled him. He felt as though he was looking straight into the eyes of a concerned mother.

"Bring him back to us." She whispered.

He bowed again.

"I will, Tsunade-sama, I promise." He answered, before leaving her office.

And thus for the entire day, Kakashi watched over Naruto without ever letting him out of his sight. The blonde was working hard in the potato fields, plowing, digging, dragging, cleaning, and battering under the sun, barely stopping to swallow the instant ramen he had brought from home.

His eyes were focused and hard, his face was stern and severe, as though he was pouring his very soul into that work he usually found boring and uninteresting. As the hours were passing by, Kakashi noticed that the boy never used his clones to help him do that hard, exhausting work.

On the second day, Kakashi spotted a patch of bright pink hair heading towards the blonde. He focused on the pair and strained his ear to hear what they were saying. Sakura approached Naruto carefully, hesitantly.

"Hey, Naruto!" she said, trying to sound joyful.

Naruto didn't raise his head.

"Hello, Sakura."

Kakashi felt his heart tighten at that cold, distant answer. It seemed that every day, Naruto was shutting himself further away from the world, to the point he was even treating his best friend as a stranger.

There was no more "Sakura-chan". It was just "Sakura", in the same way his famous "ttebayo" seemed to have disappeared again from his usually so colorful language, swallowed up within the turmoil Kakashi knew was ravaging his heart.

It went on for two more days. Naruto would keep working without paying attention to the outside world or to his friends that were trying to reach out to him. At one point, Sakura got desperate.

"Will you just look at me, Naruto?! Why won't you talk to me?!" she shouted.

Naruto stood high on his feet and bore a hole into Sakura. His eyes were so hard the young woman had a step backwards.

"I don't want to talk, Sakura. Neither to you nor to anyone. Is that so hard to understand?" he seethed, immobile while Sai was putting his hands on Sakura's shoulders protectively, his dark eyes interrogating Naruto's so unusual demeanor.

"Leave me the hell alone. All of you." He snapped, before wiping the sweat under his forehead protector and turning away from them to grab his shovel and get back to work as though they didn't exist.

Sakura's eyes started filling with tears and she opened her mouth to say something else but Sai squeezed her shoulders.

"Come, Sakura…He wants to be alone…"

After Sai had driven Sakura away, Kakashi sighed and ruffled his silver hair. The situation was getting trickier every day. He had to think about a plan quickly. Yet he had barely slept for several days, and he was exhausted. He knew he had to take some rest to be able to think clearly. So that evening, when Naruto went back home to crash into his bed without even eating or taking a shower, Kakashi waited until he was sure the boy would sleep all the way through the night. Then he summoned Pakkun and asked him to watch over the boy until morning. After giving his instructions to his faithful companion, Kakashi disappeared into the night and went straight home.

He remained in the shower for a very long time, closing his eyes, letting the hot water slide on his muscled body. The crystalline rivulets caressed his alabaster skin, streaming down his defined pectorals, his toned abdominal muscles, through the silver hair of his crotch, then down to his feet along his endless, gracious legs. He poured soap and shampoo on his body and cleaned himself absent-mindedly, before rinsing himself and stepping out of the shower.

After he grabbed a towel and dried his hair, Kakashi raised his eyes to the mirror and examined his bare features. His eyelids were heavier than usual and dark circles had appeared under his eyes. His long, thin nose was drawing a straight line from his frowned brows to his elegant lips under which appeared a rather large beauty spot. Absent-mindedly, he drew a finger along the deep scar that crossed his sharingan eye and ran down his slightly emaciated cheek to the corner of his mouth.

 _Again, I have screwed up._

He shook his head and wrapped the towel around his hips before getting out of the bathroom. His gracious and slender body headed towards the wooden chest of drawers that stood in his bedroom. He searched inside, grabbing a pair of pants and a sleeveless shirt. Then he went to sit on his bed, where he put on the boxers and the pants. He was reaching out his hand towards his shirt when his eyes fell upon the picture of Team Seven.

His heart clenched.

He took the photograph in his hands and let his eyes wander on his own smile, then on Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke's faces.

He had been so proud that day.

These three were _his_ precious genins.

He was charged with teaching them everything he knew. And as he was only thirteen years older than them, soon he had started loving them like his little brothers and sister. He was smiling softly, tracing Naruto's sullen face, when his eye focused on his own bare reflection. His expression became serious again.

 _I won't fail again. I won't let Team Seven wither away further. It is my duty to protect our team and keep it together._

 _Keep it together…_

 _Together…_

Suddenly, he heard a soft knock on the door.

The jounin sighed and dropped the picture on the bed before putting on his sleeveless shirt, covering his chest and his face.

He went to open the door and froze at the sight.

There, on his doorstep, Sakura was standing, her head low, her arms wrapped around herself.

Kakashi's eyes widened and he took her by her shoulders.

"Sakura? What's wrong?" he asked, concern evident in his voice.

The young woman said nothing, but the sadness he could see in the immense, green eyes she raised to him answered his question. Before he could make a move, Sakura had slightly leaned forward and pressed her forehead against Kakashi's chest, still not saying anything.

Kakashi wrapped his bare arms around the girl to bring her further into his embrace. There he squeezed her tightly, so much that her shoulders almost touched her ears and her nose disappeared between his pectorals.

"Maa..I know, Sakura-chan…I know…" Kakashi whispered, holding her protectively.

He noticed that she was shivering a little.

"All right let's get you inside", he whispered in her ear, rubbing her arms with his hands.

He lifted her into his arms and got back inside his home, before closing the door with his foot. He cradled Sakura's head to his chest while carrying her to his room where he sat her gently on his bed. There he tucked a pink strand behind her ear.

"Ma, wait here sweetheart, I'll make some tea, and then we can talk, ne?" He whispered, smiling softly.

The young woman gave him a sad smile and mouthed something that sounded like:

"Thank you, Kakashi-sensei."

Kakashi ruffled her hair gently before cradling the back of her head in his palm and bringing her forehead against his masked lips to give her a long, comforting kiss. Then he stood up and turned away from her, heading towards the kitchen. He put some water into the kettle then placed it over the fire, before leaning on the wall. Crossing his arms, he frowned and closed his eyes.

Of course, it had been obvious that Sakura was going to come see him at some point. Kakashi had to choose his words very carefully with her. He still didn't know how he could get to Naruto's heart, yet he didn't want to tell her that. He didn't want her to lose hope.

He was putting some tea in the kettle when he thought he heard a small, high-pitched noise.

He turned the fire off and strained his ear.

It was coming from the other room, where he had left Sakura.

Worried, he jerked his head out of the kitchen.

"Sakura?" he called out, glancing into the other room.

What he saw broke his heart in half.

Sakura's entire frame was shaking, and she was trying to muffle her sobs by pressing her hand over her mouth, while painful tears were streaming down her face and dropping on the object she was holding in her other hand.

The photograph Kakashi had been watching when she arrived.

"Oh, Sakura, my Sakura…" Kakashi breathed out, all his face flooding with sadness as he rushed towards her.

He sat down next to her and gently took the picture out of her hand, placing it behind him. Then he turned to the young woman again and took her head into his long hands, kissing her cheeks and shushing her softly. He couldn't stand the pain distorting her beautiful features, preventing her from breathing properly.

"Shhh, in my arms…Come here…" he ordered softly. He grabbed the back of her head and brought her face back into his chest, before wrapping her shaking shoulders with both of his long arms. As she let out a high-pitched gasp, he started rocking her back and forth, like a mother comforting her child.

"Shhhhhhh, he soothed slowly, I'm here, I've got you in my arms…Don't cry…Please don't cry, my Sakura-chan…"

He bent his head to place his cheek on her hair, squeezing her so tight he could feel her arms blocked against his body, her breast flush against his stomach, her nose squashed between his pectorals.

"I…I'm…I'm s…sorry…K…Ka…Se…Sensei…" Sakura hiccupped with difficulty as she hid her face further into the center of Kakashi's strong chest.

Kakashi dove a hand into her hair while the other pressed on her back to force her further into his embrace, and he laid a long, tender kiss in her pink hair.

"Maaa, maaa, breathe Sakura, it's okay…Come on, take a deep breath…Sh-shh-shh-shh…', Kakashi cooed very tenderly while rocking her back and forth, caressing her hair and rubbing soothing circles on her back.

He held her protectively and tightly for a long moment while Sakura was trying to catch her breath, her sobs muffled into Kakashi's chest, her hands clutching his shirt that was getting wetter by the minute. Then she turned her head to rest her cheek on Kakashi's heart.

"I…I have…ne…never seen him…like…like this..." She said between her sobs.

Kakashi closed his eyes and tightened his embrace.

"Shhh…"he soothed her like a baby, kissing her forehead.

"He…He is…so…so cold …SO cold…"

She gasped and Kakashi kissed her hair.

"Easy…easy…shhh…" he murmured before resting his chin on top of her head.

"He…He is like…Like Sasuke wh…when he left…"

Kakashi caressed her hair slowly, tenderly, listening to her.

"He is…suffering so….so much and…and yet I..I don't… I don't know what to do… to…to help him..."

She was silenced by a new wave of sobs and Kakashi kept rocking her, kissing her hair and pressing her cheek down against his beating heart.

"Shhh, I'm here…I'm right here…I've got you…" he cooed.

Sakura's tearful voice came up again.

"I…I can't…seem to be able to do…anything but…but crying and…and crying again…I…I feel so…so useless…" she sobbed.

"Oh, Sakura…" Kakashi exhaled, his face saddening again, his arms tightening around Sakura's shaking body. He crushed her face against his chest with his hand coiling into her hair.

"Maa, don't say such things, Sakura-chan. It's okay to cry. It is precisely your emotions that made you the strong and formidable kunoichi you are now. Don't be so hard on yourself…" he said into her ear.

"I…I couldn't…I couldn't hold…Sasuke back…And..and now…Oh Kakashi…I can't stand losing Naruto too…I can't st…"

She couldn't finish her sentence. Kakashi had gently grabbed the back of her head and turned it so that her face had got buried into his hard chest muscles again, muffling her voice. He rounded his shoulders to engulf her deeper into his embrace and whispered with devotion.

"I am still here with you, my dearest Sakura. I will always be here with you. And I will not let Naruto leave us. I won't, I promise you."

He held her again for a long time while she cried into his chest, bringing a hand up to cradle her head and to caress her hair.

His heart clenched when he remembered that he had already told her that.

That day, on the hospital roof, after stopping Naruto and Sasuke from killing each other, he had smiled to her like an idiot, and he had lied right into her face, saying that everything was going to be all right whereas he was already overrun by the situation though he didn't know it yet.

And just a couple of weeks later, Sasuke was gone to Orochimaru.

This time, he was going to tell her the truth, and he wouldn't fail her again.

He took Sakura's face into his hands and brought their foreheads together.

"Sakura, look at me."

The young woman raised her tearful eyes to him, and Kakashi wiped her cheeks with his thumbs while planting his mismatched eyes into the green ones.

"The last time I have promised you that I would bring Team Seven back together, I failed you miserably. And for that I will never forgive myself. But that's also why this time, I will die before I let Naruto wither away like Sasuke did. I promise you, Sakura, on my life."

Sakura said nothing, and the two of them looked at each other for a few seconds before Kakashi squeezed her head a little bit tighter into his hands.

"I won't lie to you this time, Sakura. I don't know how I am going to proceed to fix Naruto up, but I will find a way. You hear me? I will. And I'm asking you to trust me again, can you do that for me, Sakura-chan?" he asked with a tender, caring voice.

Sakura nodded slowly, and Kakashi smiled softly.

"Arigatou…"he breathed out.

He kissed her cheek.

"Come here."

He lifted her slightly so that she sat on his lap. There he yanked her back into his arms and pressed her nose into the hollow of his collarbone.

"Daijoubu…I promise you I will bring Naruto back, and we will help him through this. Together." he soothed, wrapping his arms around her shivering body again and sealing her into another warm and protective embrace.

He held her for such a long time, rocking her, shushing her and caressing her that Sakura ended up asleep against his chest, curled up into him and breathing softly. Even then, Kakashi didn't let go of her. Instead, he leaned against the wall and secured her tighter into his embrace, shifting his tall body so that Sakura was resting between his legs, her face buried into his chest. There he closed his eyes and focused on just holding her as tight as he could without suffocating her.

And while he was telling himself that he would never let go of her again, he followed her into the land of dreams.


	6. Reaching out to you

**Chapter Six: Reaching out to you**

 _ **Japanese glossary**_

 _ **Mattaku** : I can't believe this / damn_

 _ **Nani/Nandato** : what?_

 _ **Ohayô** : good morning_

 _ **Okaeri** : welcome home_

 _ **Tadaima** : I'm home_

 _ **Ichi, ni, san, yon, go** : One two three four five_

 _ **Arigatou** : thank you_

* * *

 _"_ _Naruto."_

 _"_ _Leave me alone ttebayo!"_

 _"_ _Naruto…"_

 _"_ _I..No! I have to…I have to keep going…"_

 _"_ _Naruto, you're going the wrong way", Kakashi said softly, reaching out his arm, trying to make the blonde stop._

 _He had to say something, anything to stop the boy from walking towards it._

 _Yet Naruto kept going, staggering, his body cutting a dark silhouette against the fantastic, magnificent light cast by the orb, making the outline of his body blurred, as though it was already halfway from disappearing completely._

 _It was the only source of light and warmth shining and repelling the thick shadows that seemed to be crawling from all around them, reaching out their clawed, distorted hands to Naruto who kept falling on his knees._

 _"_ _No…I'm certain this is the right way…I…There's no other way ttebayo."_

 _He stood up again with difficulty, and resumed his walk._

 _He was getting closer and closer to the throbbing orb which was releasing powerful flames dancing in the darkness like fiery snakes._

 _The sight was hypnotizing, tantalizing._

 _"_ _Yes, there's another way, Naruto, and you know it" Kakashi said again._

 _Another step forward._

 _Kakashi was frozen._

 _He didn't dare lunging forward, for he knew it could result in the boy jumping into the orb where he would be swallowed forever._

 _"_ _Naruto, look at me."_

 _The boy whimpered but didn't turn back._

 _He kept staggering, completely hypnotized by the orb whose beautiful, orange light seemed to be licking his face greedily, ready to absorb him._

 _"_ _Naruto, please, look at me!"_

 _Still no reaction._

 _The orb was just a few meters from Naruto, and Kakashi's heart was on the verge of bursting._

 _In sheer desperation, he shouted on top of his lungs._

 _"_ _ **That thing will never bring Jiraiya back, Naruto!"**_

 _The name had the expected effect._

 _Naruto turned vividly on his feet, his terrorized eyes tinting with pure anger, the orb flaring up behind him._

 _"_ _Don't you ever say his name ttebayo!"_

 _He had stopped._

 _He was standing firm on his feet, glaring holes into Kakashi, but he had stopped._

 _That might be the last chance the silver-haired jounin would ever have to save his precious blonde._

 _Licking his lips, his heart beating, his mind racing, Kakashi chose his words with extreme, absolute caution._

 _"_ _Naruto, this is the wrong way, I know it and so do you."_

 _"_ _Oh really?! And where am I supposed to go, huh? Do you know what lies over there Kakashi ttebayo?! Do you know?!" Naruto screamed, pointing in the opposite direction._

 _Kakashi's face saddened._

 _"_ _Yes, Naruto I know what lies over there…"_

 _He took a deep breath._

 _"_ _And yet that is the right way."_

 _Naruto coiled back, gasping, his angry face turning into one of pure horror._

 _"_ _No…! I don't believe you ttebayo!"_

 _Kakashi took another step forward, slowly, but Naruto fell back again._

 _"_ _Don't come nearer!" he shouted._

 _Kakashi rose both his hands in surrender._

 _His heart was beating furiously against his ribcage._

 _Just a few more steps backwards and Naruto would be lost forever._

 _"_ _Naruto! You know what that damn think is going to do to you, don't you?!"_

 _"_ _I don't know what the hell you are talking about ttebayo!"_

 _"_ _That orb is going to swallow you whole and take your very soul! It will bring nothing but death and destruction! Is that what you want?!"_

 _Naruto shook his head and took it into his hands, trying to shut himself away from Kakashi's words._

 _"_ _I…I don't want anything! I…I just want to get as far as I can from that freaking hole!"_

 _"_ _Naruto-kun, I know it looks scary and dark and insurmountable, but believe me, I know it very well."_

 _"_ _ **YOU'RE LYING!"**_ _Naruto screamed, making another step backwards._

 _Desperate, not knowing what else he could do to prove to Naruto that he was not lying, Kakashi made something he had never done before._

 _He crooked an index on the bridge of his nose and pulled his mask down, making Naruto gasp._

 _There, bare faced, both of his eyes uncovered, Kakashi opened his arms wide and looked at Naruto with all the sincerity he could muster, all his features screaming his love and despair._

 _"_ _There, Naruto-kun, look at me. This is who I am. I am not hiding anything from you. Anything. I'm not lying to you."_

 _Naruto didn't say a word, he seemed completely stunned by the sight of his longtime friend and sensei's true face._

 _Kakashi kept going._

 _"_ _I am your friend, remember? I would give my life for you, without any hesitation. Have I ever given you any single reason not to trust me? Ever?!"_

 _The blonde didn't say anything. His entire body was shaking, and his wrists were clenching and unclenching. He seemed on the verge of snapping._

 _Slowly, Kakashi made a tiny step towards him, his arms still open, both of his eyes diving into the cerulean ones._

 _"_ _We are a family, remember?! What on Earth can possibly make you think I, Hatake Kakashi, would do anything to hurt you, Naruto-kun? After all we have been through together, how the Hell can you think that for one, freaking second?!" Kakashi said passionately, his nose crinkled in a growl, his eyes fierce, his teeth bore, revealing his slightly sharp canines._

 _Naruto's anger seemed to fade out a bit, replaced by an immense sorrow. He closed his mouth and his lips started trembling, while a single tear streamed down his face._

 _Kakashi made another, small step._

 _He was getting closer._

 _"_ _I…I don't want…I don't want to fall!"Naruto said with a small, broken voice, tears streaming down his whiskered cheeks._

 _He looked so vulnerable, so lost, his wide blue eyes screaming silently for help._

 _"_ _It's going to be all right, Naruto-kun…Everyone goes through it someday…"_

 _Another step…_

 _Slowly, gently, he started reaching out his arms to the blonde…_

 _"_ _Come, Naruto, come here in my arms, please…don't do this…" he begged._

 _Naruto escaped a sob. His foot slid slightly backwards._

 _The malevolent aura of the orb was alienating. It looked like a gigantic eye, waiting for his prey to throw itself into its depths, extraordinary flames flaring up and swirling like an eternal, demonic storm._

 _Kakashi knew he had to pour his entire soul into his words._

 _"_ _I can't lose you, Naruto. I love you. Please. Please don't do this."_

 _The blonde lowered his head and escaped a sob._

 _That's when Kakashi took action._

 _He leaped forward and grabbed Naruto's wrist, yanking him away from the orb and pulling him into his embrace. Naruto gasped and fought in Kakashi's arms, pounding his chest with his fists while Kakashi was dragging him further away from the demonic light._

 _"_ _ **No! Let go of me! LET GO OF ME!"**_

 _"_ _Shhhh, Naruto….Naruto-kun, listen to me!" Kakashi said, clinging to Naruto, trying to imprison him into his arms._

 _"_ _ **I don't want to listen to you! Leave me alone ttebayo!"**_

 _He growled and tried to claw his way out of Kakashi's swallowing embrace but the silver-haired jounin succeeded in wrapping one of his arms around the blonde's shoulders, blocking his arms at his sides. Then he grabbed the back of his head and forced his face down into his chest. While his nose and lips got squashed into Kakashi's strong pectorals, Naruto felt that he was losing control. He let out another muffled scream into Kakashi's chest, trying to push him away, but the man held him tighter and crashed his bare lips on Naruto's ear._

 _"_ _Shhhh…It's over…It's over, Naruto…Shhhh…I'm here, it's okay…"_

 _He maintained his face crushed into his chest with his hand coiling into his hair, and that was when Naruto let out a long, harrowing sob._

 _"_ _I'm scaaared…"_

 _His knees gave out and Kakashi prevented him from falling, holding him completely against him, covering his hair with kisses._

 _"_ _Oh I know, I know Naruto-kun, I know you're scared, but I'm right here with you. I'm protecting you."_

 _"_ _It's…It's cold…Over there…I…It's dark, and it's…cold…" Naruto gasped, his voice muffled in Kakashi's shirt._

 _Kakashi let go of his head to wrap both of his arms around him, enfolding him into a protective, warm embrace, keeping his face buried into his chest to prevent him from seeing the orb behind them._

 _"_ _Here, do you feel my warmth? Do you hear my heart beating in my chest? Do you feel my arms tight around you? I will be your torch, Naruto, I will be the one bringing you light in the darkness and warmth in the cold."_

 _He kissed Naruto's temple and squeezed him tighter while the blonde's body was shivering. Then he took his face into his hands and raised it towards him._

 _"_ _I know the way, Naruto-kun, I know it very well. I will guide you through it, all the way down. I promise."_

 _Slowly, without ever letting go of Naruto's scared, watery eyes, Kakashi took a step backwards, bringing Naruto with him._

 _"_ _It's going to be okay, Naruto."Kakashi said, smoothing the golden hair._

 _Another step backwards._

 _Naruto's eyes were wide, and his hands were clutching Kakashi's shirt._

 _They were getting further and further away from the orb._

 _Kakashi kept shushing, whispering, reassuring Naruto, wiping his face tenderly with his knuckles and his thumbs, kissing his forehead with his bare lips._

 _He started taking longer steps, still bringing Naruto with him, as though they were dancing in the darkness, sliding progressively away from the demonic aura whose heat and light were starting to fade out._

 _"_ _Shhh, that's it, Naruto-kun. Stay with me. I'm here."_

 _The light was almost gone now, and Naruto seemed to wake up from a trance. He let out a strangled gasp and tried to turn away from Kakashi but the man wrapped his arms around his head and engulfed his face into his chest once more._

 _"_ _Naruto, Naruto! It's okay! Shhh, stay with me, don't turn back, it's over. Shhh."_

 _"_ _I…I…I can't, Kakashi…I can't do this…"_

 _Kakashi tightened his arms around him a little bit more._

 _"_ _Of course you can, Naruto. And you won't be alone, remember? I'll be there, all the way." he soothed tenderly._

 _He waited for a little moment for Naruto to calm down in his chest, then he resumed walking backwards, but this time without faltering his embrace._

 _He could feel the howling, screaming abyss behind him coming nearer._

 _Cold air was starting to strike his face, and he engulfed Naruto deeper into his arms to protect him against it._

 _"_ _Shhhh…" he kept whispering into the blonde's ear while Naruto was whimpering softly in his arms._

 _And soon they had arrived._

 _The void was right behind them._

 _It was hideous, immense, and bottomless, as though it was the mouth of a pit that kept on going endlessly, tearing through the very fabric of all realities, and leading to absolute oblivion and nothingness._

 _Again, Kakashi took Naruto's head into his hands and he rested their foreheads together. He took a deep breath._

 _"_ _Naruto, I know it's going to be hard. I know it's going to hurt a lot. Yet it is the only way, and I will never, you hear me Naruto, never ever let go of you for a second. You can cling on to me, bury your face in my chest, dig your nails in my skin. I will hold you all the way down, and together, we will find the light again. Wakatta?"_

 _The blonde gulped but nodded his head, closing his eyes._

 _Kakashi kissed his forehead and tucked his face back into his chest. There he wrapped his arms closely around Naruto's shoulders and rested his chin on top of his hair. There, he squeezed him tightly and whispered._

 _"_ _All right…Are you ready?"_

 _"_ _Hai…"Naruto answered, burying his nose between Kakashi's pectorals and clutching his shirt._

 _"_ _Then off we go…"_

 _And slowly, like a bird spreading his wings, Kakashi let himself fall backwards, clutching Naruto to him, until both of them disappeared into the void._

Kakashi opened his eyes. He could feel something soft and warm in his arms, something he was clutching so hard that his arms were aching. He loosened his embrace a little and lowered his head towards his chest.

He could see a patch of pink hair that smelled of flowers and candies.

Sakura.

The young woman was curled up against him, her nose buried into the connection between his shoulder and his neck. She was breathing softly, letting out a little whistling noise, and Kakashi smiled fondly. His heart filling with love and tenderness, he lowered his mask and buried his nose into Sakura's soft hair. He breathed deeply while squeezing her tight against him, ignoring the pain in his arms. He remained in this position for a little while, and then he sighed and laid his head backwards, caressing Sakura's hair absent-mindedly, remembering his dream.

Well the message had been quite clear. He had to convince Naruto to face his own pain before Kyuubi swallowed him whole.

But how?

Kakashi winced. He had hoped that a night of rest would help him find a solution, yet it didn't.

His mind drifted to the blonde, and he frowned when he thought about how Naruto seemed to have lost some weight again. The blonde really seemed to be withering away at a steady pace and Kakashi felt more and more worried about him. Yet the more he worried, the more he urged himself to find a solution, and it prevented him from thinking efficiently.

Sakura whimpered a little into his neck, and her hands clutched Kakashi's shirt a little more, making the silver-haired man snap out of his thoughts. He rubbed soothing circles into the young woman's back and cradled her head, pushing her face further into his neck.

"Shhh…" he whispered softly.

He closed his eyes and laid his cheek against the pink hair, and he sighed again while rocking Sakura slightly from left to right.

He focused, and told himself that he had to keep his head cool. He had to think things through, calmly, as he used to do, by isolating problems one by one. For now, there was just no obvious way to approach Naruto. So why not focus on more urgent things, such as trying to feed him correctly?

He raised his eyes and looked outside the window. The sun wasn't up yet, but the sky was starting to lighten, golden light caressing the blue, sleepy clouds. He glanced at the clock which indicated five o'clock.

Kakashi sighed and made his decision. He lowered his head towards Sakura and laid a long, loving kiss in her hair, before pulling his mask back up and shifting slowly in order to get out of the bed with her still in his arms, without waking her.

That was tricky.

After a few acrobatics, Kakashi succeeded in rising on his feet, carrying Sakura, who whimpered and opened an eye.

"Mm...Kashi?"

Kakashi smiled softly and rocked her in his arms like a baby, diving his mismatched eyes into the slightly unfocused emerald ones.

"Yo, sleepyhead." He breathed out tenderly with a gentle smile.

Sakura looked around, still half asleep.

"Wh...Where..."

Kakashi brought her face in his shoulder by shifting his forearm up her back.

"Shh, it's okay. The night is not over for you, you can still sleep."

"Mm..." She said wrapping her arms around Kakashi's neck and burying her face further into the crook of his shoulder.

He cast the sheets aside to lay the sleepy Sakura into his bed, before bringing the covers back on her body. Yet Sakura's eyes opened again and she clutched Kakashi's shirt.

"Kakashi, I have to go. I..."

Kakashi tucked a pink strand behind her ear.

"Shh,shh,shh, what sweetie?"

"I have to…the cat…"

"Nani?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes...the cat…he fell into the well…I have to get him out or he'll drown!" Sakura said, her green eyes wide with worry.

Kakashi understood the powerful message hidden behind the dream. He kissed her forehead and pushed her gently back into the bed with his hands on her shoulders.

"Maa, maa, leave it to me, Sakura-chan. I will fetch the cat and get him out of the well."

"How?"

Kakashi thought for a fraction of second. No more lies. Even if Sakura wouldn't remember that conversation, he would never ever lie to her again.

"Ma, I have no idea right now, but hey, I used to be your sensei, right? I will find a way."

 _Even though I prefer dogs_ , Kakashi told himself.

Sakura' eyes started falling again, yet her hand was still clutching Kakashi's shirt. He caressed her head slowly, tenderly.

"Shhh...Go to sleep, Sakura-chan. Leave all this to me. Just sleep. Don't worry. Shhh..." He cooed softly, caressing her until the green eyes closed and the head fell into his long hand. He stroked her face again for a few minutes, then gently retrieved his hand and got up.

As discretely as he could, he took a shower, brushed his teeth and dressed up in his usual uniform.

Then he spent two hours in the kitchen.

It had been a long time since the last time had cooked with so much devotion. As he was rolling the onigiri and cooking the noodles, he shook his head several times.

 _What the Hell are you doing? Naruto is indeed in love with food, but he is never going to eat if it comes from you._

Yet something deep within Kakashi pushed him to go on. He just had to do something, anything. He couldn't physically show Naruto how much he loved him as the boy would most certainly use ninjutsu again to escape his arms or simply crash his fist on his nose. He couldn't tell him either, as the boy would tell him to go fuck himself at the first word Kakashi would utter.

It seemed trivial, but cooking Naruto's lunch for the boy was the only thing he could do without too much damage, in addition to the fact that he needed to be sure Naruto had something decent to eat and drink.

 _He won't eat it. He won't even touch it._

Kakashi's mind filled with thousands of reasons why Naruto would certainly not even deign to even look at what Kakashi had brought him. However his heart was sending contradictory messages. In addition to the fact that he couldn't stand the idea of just sitting there doing nothing while the boy was starving himself, he just followed the powerful intuition that was starting to build up deep within him. Indeed, as he was pouring all his love for the blonde into the cutting of the vegetables, into the boiling of the noodles, into the rolling of the onigiri, he couldn't help but hoping Naruto would just come to a point where he would be too tired, too hungry and too thirsty to cling on to his anger.

And when he comes to that, he might be glad to find some comfort in a meal that had been heartily prepared just for him.

When he was done, Kakashi wrapped everything into a large wicker basket, which he laid down in the entrance hall. It was about eight o'clock, and the sun was up, casting its rays into his bedroom. Quietly, he went to close the curtains to make sure the light wouldn't wake Sakura. Then he approached the bed again and smiled fondly at the sight of the young woman having her face hidden into her knuckles, her knees brought up to her chest.

At this precise moment, Kakashi had hard time believing that beautiful, vulnerable creature was actually the strongest woman in the village after Tsunade whom she would soon surpass. For a minute there he was taunted by the urge to take a picture of her because she was just too cute. Yet he didn't have any camera, and the thought of a very pissed off Sakura made him shiver. So instead, he engraved her image into his memory, and then he leaned forward and pulled down his mask to rest his lips on the pale, soft cheek in a chaste, loving kiss. Sakura whimpered a little in her sleep and Kakashi ran his long hand into her hair, kneading her skull.

Then he straightened up and went to his desk where he grabbed a piece of scroll and a pen. There, he wrote:

"Ohayô, my pretty little flower. I am out watching over Naruto. Make yourself at home. Again, I promise you I will do everything in my power to get things right. Trust me. And I want you to keep coming to me if you need to talk, that's an order. I want to be there for you, always, and we have to stick together through this.

Jaa na!"

He signed with his name and let the paper on the bedside table before he turned on his heels, grabbed the basket and left his apartment in silence, closing the door behind him.

He watched over Naruto all morning, and then around midday, he let out a sigh and got down from his tree, carrying the basket on his arm. He took a deep breath, knowing that the blonde was probably going to insult him, yet he bravely started walking towards him.

He stopped a few meters from the blonde and wove his hand, crinkling his eye in his famous, soft smile.

"Yooo!"

Naruto, who had been completely wrapped up in his work, shot his head up and started at the sight of Kakashi right behind him. He jerked backwards with such violence he tripped on the bucket he was using to water the cultures and fell hard on his bottom. Kakashi almost rushed forward to help him but he restrained himself at the last minute. Instead, he scratched the back of his head with a sheepish laugh.

"Haahahaa, ma, I'm sorry Naruto-kun, I didn't want to scare you."

"What the fuck are you doing here?!"

"Maaa, maaa, I don't want to bother you. It's just that I have noticed that you are working very hard and yet it doesn't seem to me that you drink and eat enough. So…"

"Mind your own business. I have my ramen here see? That's well enough."

"Maaa! You know what I am going to tell you, Naruto-kun…"

"Don't Naruto-kun me. And piss off, I have no advice to take from you." Naruto growled, boring a hole into Kakashi, all his body rigid and firmly planted into the ground.

"Naruto, you're working very hard and your body needs something way more decent than instant ramen. And I don't see anything looking like a gourd…which means that you are far from hydrating yourself enough."

"Fuck you."

Kakashi sighed. Damn, that was going to take time.

"Naruto…You might hate me but whether you like it or not, you remain my friend, I care about you, and I will not have you starve to death or get completely dehydrated just because you are being a stubborn ass who doesn't want to take decent breaks."

"I don't give a shit about your states of mind. I don't need your food or your water or your pity or anything else from you. Now get the hell out of my sight before I get really angry." Naruto snarled, baring his teeth a little.

"Maaa, maa, all right. See, I'm just leaving this here, Kakashi cooed gently, laying the basket down on the ground, and raising his other hand in surrender. All right I'm going now. Jaa na!"

He poofed away and hid behind a bush where he could still see him.

He observed him hopefully, eagerly…

The blonde never stopped for a moment, and he kept working again and again…

Slowly, the sun started to lower in the horizon, casting fiery rays in the golden hair…

…but to Kakashi's disappointment, Naruto never touched the basket, and at the end of the day, he just left it there without looking back.

Kakashi sighed and ran a hand into his hair.

 _Ma, what did you expect, you freaking konoyarou?"_

He hopped down the tree and, his shoulders low, went to recover the abandoned basket before going to camp on Naruto's roof once more, preparing himself for the night. As he started feeling hungry, he began to pick some food from inside the basket, and soon he found himself eating the entire meal, his heart heavy and sad.

He was seriously starting to miss Naruto.

He missed the blonde's boisterous laugh, his incredible, sometimes exhausting energy. He missed the boy's eyes proudly raised upon the man he considered as his friend and lifetime sensei, he missed leaving on mission with him and spending the night laying on his back, teaching Naruto to recognize the stars. Hell, he even missed yelling at the blonde when the latter was running straight to battle without thinking, making Kakashi's heart freeze.

While he was sipping the cold tea into the flask, Kakashi chuckled sadly, thinking about the infuriating habit Naruto had to laugh at Kakashi when the man was lecturing him, just scratching the back of his head sheepishly and promising he wouldn't do it again. Needless to say, that was the only promise Naruto was absolutely unable to keep.

In one word, Kakashi missed Naruto's friendship.

His heart became colder each day as he felt that Naruto was drifting away from him, and without even realizing it, Kakashi wrapped his arms around his chest while raising his eyes to the bright moon whose silver light was flowing through his hair, like an ethereal hand trying to soothe his sorrow.

He remained in that position for a while, before frowning and clutching his fists.

He didn't care how much time it would take him. He didn't care how hard he would have to try. Kakashi had to keep going. He had to keep showing Naruto that he was still there, watching over him. In rain, snow, shine or hurricane, Kakashi wanted Naruto to feel that he was never, ever far.

And the more he thought about it, the more he started convincing himself that it might be the best way to get to Naruto's heart. Kakashi knew Naruto as though he was his little brother, and even though the boy was indeed unpredictable for sure, the silver-haired man had learned to read his mind and heart most of the time. And after all these years, he had found out that there was something that Naruto loved particularly, even though he would never admit it to anyone.

He loved feeling that someone was taking care of him.

Indeed the blonde had grown up alone, and he had fought all his life for people to only look at him, let alone give him a tiny bit of affection. It was a wound that was engraved deep within his heart and that would never fade away, despite Naruto's incredible capacity to love the very same people who had hurt him so much.

Kakashi had already noticed several times how much Naruto loved when he was taken care of. In fact, his need for attention could sometimes lead to hilarious situations, especially when he was sick and trying to wheedle a particularly pissed off Doctor Sakura. Kakashi had often observed them two with an amused smile, while Naruto was pretending he was sad and suffering just so Sakura would take care of him and show him some tenderness. Yet the pink haired woman was not stupid and it often ended up with a punch on top of Naruto's head when the blonde tried to flee before the terrifying syringes Sakura seemed to keep pulling out of her pockets, making him whine even more.

Actually, Kakashi had always wondered whether it was partly because of that need to feel that someone was caring for him that Naruto had never ever made any effort to change his diet, in spite of Kakashi's many lectures. More than once, he had noticed the blonde's little smile while Kakashi was, again, crossing his arms disapprovingly in the blonde's kitchen, telling him that he was a ninja and that he absolutely had to change his diet. He suspected Naruto to keep infuriating him just to make sure the jounin would come visit him. And most of all, Kakashi would never forget the evening where he had been waiting for the blonde to come home from a mission in Kirigakure where he had been specifically requested by the daimyô. As Kakashi had himself been away at that time, he hadn't been able to keep an eye on Naruto, and when the boy had come back, he had found Kakashi sitting in his kitchen, behind an entire barrel of vegetables.

And the man had said something very specific.

"Okaeri, Naruto"

Kakashi would never forget how the blue eyes had watered at once, and how the tears had started falling on his cheeks. Before Kakashi had time to say anything, the blonde had flung himself around his neck, squeezing him tight and burying his face into the silver hair that was falling down his neck.

"Tadaima…" Naruto had whispered, before bursting into tears.

Feeling the intensity of Naruto's loneliness, Kakashi's heart had shattered to pieces. He had taken him in his lap and slowly rocked him back and forth, comforting him, telling him he was there and that everything was okay, making sure he was conveying all the love and tenderness he humanely could in that embrace.

Maybe that was since that time that Kakashi had noticed that even though the blonde was a very cuddly boy who didn't hesitate to engulf anyone into a big crushing hug, he seemed to be fond of hugging Kakashi in particular. He had often noticed how his presence seemed to soothe Naruto's incredible energy, and how the mere fact of holding him into his arms was easing his boisterous behavior. Naruto loved to nestle into Kakashi's chest, hiding his nose right between his pectorals or pushing it into the hollow of the older man's collarbone, like an affectionate cat yearning for the warmth and smell of a human. The resemblance was all the more obvious because of Naruto's so particular whisker marks. Kakashi himself had grown fond of enveloping Naruto deep into his arms, shutting him away from the world and keeping him held close and tight to his chest, just as he had done with Sakura the night before. It gave him the impression that he was still in charge despite his students having grown up so much, that he still had the timeless power to protect them against the world.

 _I won't give up. I swear I won't give up_ , Kakashi thought to himself, his heart warming up again at the new wave of determination that flooded him.

He summoned Pakkun to fill in for him until the morning again.

"What the hell are you doing, anyway?" Pakkun asked his master.

"Ma, I'm trying to get the cat out of the well." Kakashi replied simply.

" **What?! What cat?!** " Pakkun said, his eyes huge, his tail wriggling around, but Kakashi had already poofed away.

The silver-haired man went back home to take a shower and prepare another meal for Naruto. He had decided that he would do it every single day. The fact that Kyuubi hadn't taken Naruto yet meant that the blonde was still there somewhere, and that deep down, he could still be touched by the same things. Kakashi hoped that his perseverance in trying to take care of Naruto the best he could would slowly, gently penetrate Naruto's heart and help him lower his defenses so that Kakashi could break through.

That night when he got back home, Sakura was gone of course, but she had left him a note beside the one he had written.

"Sensei, thank you so much for last night. Thank you for listening and for letting me cover your shirt with snot and saliva (sorry about that…), it truly meant a lot to me, and it did me a lot of good. I'm lucky to have such a friend as you. Please, come to me as well if you want to talk about Naruto. You are right, we have to support each other through this. We are not just a team, we are a family.

I love you very much, Kakashi, see you soon.

Your Sakura."

Kakashi closed his eyes and pressed the little paper to his chest, smiling softly, before tucking it behind Team Seven's photograph. Then he had a shower, and after preparing the meal with as much love as the first one, he went to bed in order to sleep for a few hours before going back to relay Pakkun.

And thus the days kept going, following that new routine. Every day, Kakashi would poof right beside Naruto, put the basket down and leave almost immediately. Shortly after giving his mission to Kakashi, Tsunade summoned Naruto's friends in her office. There, she explained to them that Kakashi was working on a plan to help Naruto grieve properly. She told them that the man was never letting Naruto out of his sight, and that although they should remain available for the blonde, they should not invade him too much and let him come back to them in time.

Standing close to the door, Iruka smiled softly when he heard about Kakashi's action. The man had listened to him, and Naruto was now in good hands. Thus even though Iruka was worried about his blonde, he thought it was wiser to let Kakashi work with him as he intended to, and he decided to observe Naruto from afar. That is how when Iruka was not at the academy, he would go see how the blonde was doing. One day, he arrived just at the moment where Kakashi deposited the basket next to him before leaving under Naruto's particularly flowery insults. Hidden behind a tree, Iruka scanned the area rapidly, and realized that Kakashi's chakra wasn't gone, and his heart warmed for the silver-haired jounin.

God, the man was so devoted to Naruto.

Kakashi knew Naruto so well he knew exactly how lonely the boy had always felt. Iruka had done his best throughout Naruto's childhood, making the blonde forget his loneliness for a few, cherished moments, and along the years, Kakashi had grown so fond of the blonde that he, too, had started relaying Iruka in that role. At first, Iruka had felt possessive towards Naruto and he had often been jealous at the sight of the blonde's eyes marveled and impressed before the tall, mysterious ninja. Yet along the years, Kakashi and Iruka had implicitly learned to share their love for the blonde, and Kakashi had always respected the times where Iruka took Naruto to Ichiraku's, knowing that this was their own, symbolic moment. On the other hand, Iruka had been compelled to admit that Kakashi was doing a wonderful job by never being far from the blonde, by protecting him and loving him even if he was more discrete in his displays of affection than Iruka who always paid for Naruto's meals and often hugged him right in the middle of a crowded street, crying his eyes out and bawling how proud he was of him.

Actually, Iruka thought that Naruto was the reason Kakashi and he had become closer friends through the years. They had often met to talk about the blonde, while having a walk in the park or a drink in town - though Iruka never succeeded in seeing Kakashi's face of course. Kakashi would tell Iruka about Naruto's behavior during missions, and both men would often laugh fondly at his exasperating antics. On the other hand, Iruka would give Kakashi a lot of insights of the blonde's psychology, giving him advice as to how he should deal with him in difficult situations, even though Kakashi had eventually come to surpass Iruka in the tricky discipline of the Naruto Reading. More than once, he had felt as though they were two men alternatively watching over their younger brother, and he had come to love that feeling. He knew that if one day he disappeared, Kakashi would always be there to take care of Naruto.

He had snapped out of his thoughts when he had heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Yo, Iruka-sensei."

Iruka had turned around and blushed as he had realized that his cheeks were covered in tears.

"Oh, Kakashi-san…I didn't hear you…"

"Obviously", Kakashi smiled, handing a tissue over to Iruka.

"Thank you…I'm sorry, I'm just too emotional" Iruka said, taking the tissue and tapping it over his eyes.

"It's okay." Kakashi whispered gently, soothingly.

He went to stand beside Iruka.

"What's wrong, Iruka-sensei?" he asked.

The brunette, understanding the complicity and gratefulness that was hiding behind the innocent question, raised watery eyes to his silver-haired friend and smiled.

"It's nothing…It's just that…Well, you know, I love him so much…"

He suddenly burst into tears, turning away from Kakashi.

"I…I'm sorry…"

Kakashi hesitated a little.

Awkwardly, he reached out a hand to pat Iruka's shoulder, but then he felt like a cold-hearted bastard. He was not about to forget the comfort Iruka had brought him, so he swallowed his modesty and slid his arm around Iruka's shoulders, yanking the chuunin against him, so that Iruka's lips found themselves bumping into the man's collarbone. As Kakashi's arms were gently wrapping themselves around him, blocking his hands, against his chest, Iruka gasped.

"You don't have to do this, Kakashi-san."

"Maa…Shut up and relax. It's okay. I have been told that this was something people did to comfort each other." Kakashi answered, laying his cheek into Iruka's hair, tightening his embrace a little so that Iruka's face was pushed into the hollow of his shoulder. The brunette could feel the silver hair of Kakashi's neck falling gently on his temple, and he closed his eyes, smelling his reassuring scent of wood and rain, enjoying the warmth, his tears pouring down from his eyes again.

"I…You're doing such a wonderful job, Kakashi…And Naruto is so hard with you… I mean…Thank you…"Iruka said, his shuddering voice muffled into the strong shoulder.

He let out a little hiccup. Kakashi rubbed soothing circles into his back and swayed them gently from left to right.

"Ma…I guess I'm doing what we both have always done, ne, Iruka-san?" Kakashi answered softly.

He held him for a while longer, his eyes fixed upon the blonde who was now digging to plant a new line of potatoes. His promise to Sakura came back to his mind, and he smiled softly.

 _Mattaku, it seems like I'm growing used to have people crying in my arms._

He squeezed Iruka a little tighter against his chest, and brought up a hand to rest under his ponytail, pushing his face further into his shoulder.

"It's going to be okay, Iruka. I promise. We will get our Naruto back, trust me." He said, repeating the words he had told Sakura.

They remained embraced for long minutes, then Iruka disengaged himself from Kakashi's arms and wiped his eyes.

"I…I have to go back to the academy. God, I must look horrible, the kids are going to laugh at me!"

Kakashi chuckled and patted his shoulder amiably.

"Ma, I think they like you too much for that. All right, I'll go back to my tree then, I was right in the middle of a particularly hot scene involving a cucumber…", he said, getting his famous porn companion out of his pocket.

Iruka's tanned face turned to dark red.

"God, some things never change, right?" he chuckled, embarrassed, before turning on his heels and going back to the academy. Then he stopped and turned towards Kakashi again.

"Thank you, Kakashi." He said sincerely.

"Anytime", Kakashi answered with his crinkling smile.

Iruka walked away waving his hand to Kakashi. The silver-haired man wove back, smiling softly, but then he stuffed the book back in his pocket and went back up his tree where he sat with a very serious expression on his face, never getting his eyes off Naruto.

The blonde never, ever touched the basket.

After two weeks, seeing that the boy was looking paler each day despite the burning sun, Kakashi ended up feeling extremely anxious, and he started putting up plans into his head to catch Naruto and hypnotize him with his Sharingan in order to feed him by force…

…until one day.

 _Ah...My back is killing me..."_ Naruto thought, wincing, straightening his back and trying to stretch his painful spine after having spent hours cleaning the river in the northeast of Konoha. He fell on his rear, sighing and wiping his forehead. Saying he was tired was euphemistic. His entire body was aching, his muscles were tense and he wanted to collapse on his bed and sleep. It was the first time he would accept to do so many missions for the village, which he usually found boring. Yet now he felt the need to actually spend each and every one of his days digging, planting, cleaning, ploughing, watering... Sometimes he would spend some hours training, but he tried to avoid it the best he could with that kind of maintenance missions.

Training made him think of Jiraiya, and that was unacceptable.

That kind of low-rank missions was perfect. If he didn't use his chakra too much, he managed to actually exhaust himself to the point his mind became blank and unable to think, to the point he would just go home to eat, have a shower and crash into his bed to sleep through the night without dreaming, only to get up on the next morning and start all over again. And at this moment, he felt like he had done a pretty good job exhausting himself. He fell on his back and closed his eyes, sighing deeply and letting the hard sun burn his face. He was almost falling asleep when a shadow came to hide the sun and a voice came to his ears.

"Yo!"

Naruto's eyes shot open. A masked face with rebel, spiky silver hair was hovering over his face. Naruto's heart clenched painfully like every single time he saw Kakashi, and again, he felt the abyss he was so desperately trying to ignore open up into his chest, growling and screaming. Closing his eyes and gritting his teeth, he shut the howling away, and again, he let the anger and resentment flood his veins like a drug easing the pain.

"What do you want?" He asked, harshly.

"Well, as usual, I was passing by and I thought I would bring you something to eat and drink."

Naruto sighed.

"You are one hell of a stubborn guy, aren't you?" He answered with a surprisingly soft voice which contrasted with his harsh eyes and which took Kakashi a little aback.

Yet the man pulled himself together and he giggled.

"Well, I have learned from the best..." He answered, fighting the itching urge to ruffle the blonde hair as he used to do so often.

Naruto raised his head, and as their eyes met, they stopped slightly, just looking at each other.

In Naruto's blue eyes, Kakashi felt the depths of the devastating pain the blonde was trying so hard to bury within himself, and again he was overwhelmed by the need to wrap him inside his arms and squeeze him until his bones broke, just as he had done in his dream. On the other hand, Naruto saw in Kakashi's eye so much kindness, tenderness and love that he felt as though his heart was transpierced by a particularly sharp, giant needle, and he looked away, missing the sad glow that passed briefly through Kakashi's eye.

"Ma...I'll leave now. Ja na, Naruto..." Kakashi breathed out with a hint of sorrow, before disappearing again.

Naruto didn't say a thing. He kept looking at his knees, his head and shoulders low and heavy. He remained in that position for a moment, before he turned his head towards the little wicker basket Kakashi had left beside him.

It was just a simple basket.

It was totally ordinary and slightly worn out, and it was just standing there, in the dead leaves.

It was just standing there, so simply, so innocently.

And as he watched that simple basket, Naruto felt his heart fill with so many contradictory emotions that he didn't dare look into them.

For the first time since the day Kakashi had started coming to see him, he reached out a hand to the basket, slowly, gently, as though he was afraid that the thing would suddenly erupt in flames and burn him down to ashes. Slowly, gently, his hand coiled around the mantle, and he took the basket in his lap.

Inside, there was a rather large box, carefully wrapped up in a dark cloth which seemed to be one of Kakashi's shirts, and a flask full of tea. His heart pounding heavily into his chest, Naruto opened the box and found it was organized in compartments.

In these compartments, there were onigiri, hot soup, and a small portion of vegetables.

At the sight of the vegetables, Naruto couldn't help the soft, sincere smile that slowly stretched his lips. That was so characteristic of Kakashi. That was the very essence of that discrete, evasive yet so attentive and thoughtful man that was Kakashi. Even though the man sometimes appeared rather aloof and bored, he was always, always around to take care of the people he loved. Hell, the basket itself was a metaphor of the man: it looked discrete and insignificant, but inside, it held treasuries of attention and tenderness. He even suspected Kakashi had made the meal himself, just for him, and knowing that Kakashi wasn't really used to cook anything, it touched him beyond reason.

And at this precise moment, Naruto felt the immensity of the love Kakashi still had for him, despite all the fierce opposition Naruto was showing. Even with the insults, the screams, the growls, the harsh words, even though Naruto had done his best to crush the man's heart, he was still there, watching over him.

Trying to make him eat vegetables.

Naruto felt the tears prickle his eyes and he sniffed slightly. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around the basket and held it softly against his chest, bowing his head.

 _Kakashi, why the hell do you make it so difficult for me to hate you, ttebayo?_ Naruto wondered deep, deep within his heart.

Of course, he didn't know that the man in question was standing on a branch nearby, observing him. As Kakashi saw the soft smile lighten Naruto's lips, he felt his heart fill with hope. He observed his cherished blonde fondly, carefully, and his eyes tinted with sorrow when he saw the blonde bow his head and hold the basket to his wounded heart, like an abandoned child who had found a dirty teddy bear. Kakashi had to bite his hand hard in order to prevent himself from jumping down the tree and run to Naruto. He wanted to tackle him down, pull the protesting boy into his arms and crush his face fiercely into his chest.

"Oh, Naruto-kun, he would say, wrapping both his arms tight around his protégé, tangling his hands into his hair, smothering him into his chest, I'm here… I'm here, I'm here, I'm here…Shhh…"

He would hold and shush him for hours, not caring if the two of them were tangled together and sitting right in the middle of the forest. He would just focus on holding Naruto as tight as he could.

Yet again, he didn't do anything. However this time, he knew it was the right thing to do. Naruto was not ready yet, and he had to be patient.

Naruto kept holding the basket to him for a while longer, but then slowly, progressively, he could feel the abyss swallow him up again, as though the ground was collapsing under him. He felt nauseous and dizzy, and he made a brusque movement backwards, letting go of the basket.

 _No…_ , he thought, trying to repel the darkness that was overwhelming his heart, clutching his shirt over his aching chest, trying to catch his breath that seemed to be eluding him.

 _You're angry at Kakashi, remember? He is just trying to buy your trust back, throwing you food like a dog. Don't let yourself be fooled. That man will bring you nothing but more suffering._

 _Oh, come on, it's Kakashi-sensei we are talking about._

 _Precisely. The man fooled you once by making you believe he was your friend while plotting with Tsunade to have Jiraiya do the dirty work while your back was turned._

 _Maybe…Maybe you're wrong about the whole thing…_

 _No. That's what Kakashi wants you to think. Don't let your guard down. Ever._

The thoughts kept contradict themselves in his mind, and as Naruto was already physically exhausted, he decided he didn't have the strength to think anymore. He was hungry, thirsty sad and lonely, and thus he decided to shut his brain and heart away, as he had been doing for almost a month now. He just ate and drank eagerly, putting aside the conflicting voices within him.

Then he stood up and headed back to his apartment, and this time he took the basket with him. Before going home, however, he hesitated before changing his course and going to Kakashi's apartment. There, he seemed to ponder in front of the door, but then he shook his head and just laid the basket on the threshold and left towards his home. Before following him, Kakashi got the basket inside is apartment, without noticing that something was missing.

When Naruto got to bed, Kakashi was again sitting on the roof of his home, like a guardian angel, waiting for the boy to fall asleep. As he felt Naruto's chakra settle down in the characteristic pattern of sleep, Kakashi sighed and decided to stay for a few more hours, admiring the sight of the sleepy village under the magnificent sky, soothed by the gentle, silver light of the moon. The village always seemed to be getting bigger. On the northeast, Kakashi could see the new houses and neighborhoods that were being built as more and more merchants and foreigners were coming to Konoha to settle down. The village was indeed peaceful and flourishing, and thus it attracted a lot of people.

Two hours later, Kakashi was dreaming softly, letting the wind flow through his beautiful hair and handsome, bare face, as he had pulled down his mask to be able to feel the slightly chilly caress on his skin. At this moment, he felt a disturbance in Naruto's chakra. He frowned and bowed his head towards the roof, listening carefully. He thought he heard slight, tiny whimpers. Lifting his forehead protector, Kakashi uncovered his Sharingan and looked through the tiles, diving into Naruto's room. There, he could make out Naruto's silhouette fidgeting into his bed. Pulling his mask back up, he decided to go take a look.

Silently, he slid through the open window and landed like a cat into Naruto's room. There he came close to the bed, and his heart clenched at the sight of Naruto turning restlessly in his sheets, his forehead drenched in sweat, his face contorted in angst.

"No…Ero-sennin…Don't…Don't go…"

Kakashi sat very silently on the bed, and he laid a hand on Naruto's forehead, wiping the sweat with tenderness.

"Shhh…" he soothed, his face colored with sorrow and compassion.

The boy kept squirming in the bed, whimpering softly as though he was fighting in his dream.

"Oodama…Rasengan…Don't…Don't you touch him you bastard…"

"Shhh-shhh-shhh…I'm here…" Kakashi whispered again.

He caressed him gently and started disentangling him from his sheets in order to make him more comfortable, not resisting in pressing the whiskered face briefly into his neck as he was re-arranging the pillows under his head. Then, as he was slowly lifting his leg, thanking all the gods that might be watching for making Naruto such a heavy sleeper, he found something familiar under it. It was a dark piece of cloth, rolled into a ball. When Kakashi picked it up, his heart made a lurch.

It was the shirt he had used to envelop Naruto's meal.

His shirt.

What the Hell was it doing in Naruto's bed?

Having an intuition, Kakashi lifted the shirt to his nose and smelled it.

It was still covered with his own scent, and he wondered…

While Naruto was still squirming, Kakashi gently put the cloth under his nose.

The reaction was immediate.

Naruto grabbed the cloth and pressed it desperately to his nose, burying his face within it.

"K…Kakashi-sensei…" he let out in a small sob, crushing the cloth to his face.

"Mattaku…" Kakashi breathed out, heartbroken.

Naruto was sleeping with his shirt because he needed to smell his scent.

Iruka had been right. Naruto still loved him, and he needed him desperately.

Kakashi's heart was torn between immense relief and unfathomable sadness at the sight of the blonde so miserable, curling up on himself and pressing his face in a poor piece of cloth just to feel as though Kakashi was there with him.

All his body was aching, itching to climb up into the bed and hold him.

 _Kakashi damn it, control yourself!_

God it was so difficult.

 _You're a shinobi for heaven's sake, you have survived way trickier situations!_

The blonde let out another hiccup, his face contorted in pain.

 _Oh…Naruto…_

It was just too hard. He couldn't humanely stand here doing nothing.

 _I just want to hold him in my arms…_

After all, Naruto could sleep through a meteor shower…

 _Just for an hour…_

There was little risk that he would wake up, really…Ne?

 _Yes…Just an hour…_

Kakashi took off his vest and shoes and gently, slowly, he climbed on the bed with Naruto, lying down on his side. There, he wrapped his arms around the boy's waist and brought his back against his strong chest. There, he held him tight and laid his chin on the blonde's shoulder.

"Shhh…I'm here, Naruto-kun…I've got you in my arms now, it's okay…Shhh…" he whispered into his ear, laying a little kiss into the blonde hair before resting his chin back on the younger man's shoulder and wrapping his legs around his body, bringing him further into his embrace. He held him for a long moment, shushing him softly until progressively, Naruto calmed down and breathed softly, his nose still buried into Kakashi's shirt. Kakashi rested his hand over Naruto's heart and tightened his arms around him, before closing his eyes and focusing on Naruto's breathing.

…

It was the morning light that woke him up.

He opened his eyes slowly, blinking a little, wondering where he was.

Feeling a hot breath against his chest coming from a head that was buried in his arms, Kakashi thought for a moment he had fallen asleep again with Sakura cuddled up into him.

Yet when he lowered his eyes, expecting to see pink hair, his heart missed a beat.

The hair was not pink.

Kakashi's heart started beating faster.

 _Oh boy._

Naruto's arms and legs were wrapped so tightly around Kakashi that the man couldn't make a move.

 _If he wakes up and finds himself in my arms, he's going to blow up the entire village._

He winced behind his mask and with all the precaution he was capable of, he started wriggling, blushing slightly at the feeling of his tall body withering against the younger, firm one.

 _Mattaku. I read porn in public and now I'm blushing like a little girl._

He raised his head to the ceiling, mouthing silent prayers to all the divines he could name, putting his hands behind his back to try to loosen the grip of Naruto's arms around his waist. Yet of course it was a grip of extraordinary strength, and Kakashi bit his lip, realizing that there was no way he could escape without opening Naruto's arms with a damn crane.

So he tried another method. He put his hands on Naruto's shoulders and started pushing so that he could wither out of the embrace by sliding towards the head of the bed.

Yes but if he did that, there was a point where Naruto's face would be pressed against his…

 _By all the fucking holy mother of…_

Yet Kakashi didn't have time to picture the scene much longer. In his sleep, Naruto felt that he was being slightly pulled away from Kakashi's warm body, and he whimpered before literally crashing his face back into the jounin's chest, squeezing his waist even stronger which resulted in efficiently cutting off Kakashi's air. He was going to resort to conjuring up a clone in order to help him out when Naruto whispered something.

"Don't leave me…"

Kakashi froze, wondering whether the boy was still asleep.

"I'm scared of…The hole…I'm scared…Kakashi-sensei…"

 _Mattaku…_

Kakashi's heart melt for good and he couldn't help wrapping both his arms around Naruto's head, swallowing his face into his pectorals, squeezing him tight and close.

"Oh, Naruto-kun…Shhh, don't be afraid, I'm here. I will protect you…"he whispered while caressing the blonde's hair, remembering his dream and wondering if Naruto was dreaming about the same thing.

He rested his chin on top of the blonde hair so that Naruto's head disappeared, engulfed into his arms. He held him tightly for a moment, before feeling that his chakra was getting agitated.

Oh boy, he was waking up.

Kakashi was stuck. If he tried to escape now, Naruto would feel it and he would wake up at once, and that would be a disaster.

Kakashi swore silently, desperate.

 _Just an hour, my ass…How could you fall asleep you fucking, useless, fluffy…_

Kakashi didn't have time to finish insulting himself.

Naruto let out a long sigh and squirmed into his arms, disengaging his face from Kakashi's chest by laying a hand on his hard pectorals.

Kakashi's entire body went rigid, and he held his breath.

 _Oh boy, he is awake._

Naruto blinked a few times and rubbed his eyes.

Kakashi was completely paralyzed.

Naruto stared at that chest, into which he seemed to have spent the night, and he frowned.

It was a man, muscled chest, covered with a black cloth, and it smelled very familiar.

Then slowly, very slowly, he raised his eyes…

…until he found himself nose to nose with a very embarrassed Kakashi.

They looked at each other for a moment…

…and Kakashi couldn't think of doing anything else than grinning sheepishly while rising his fingers in his characteristic greeting gesture.

"Yooo, he cooed joyfully, I guess I got lost again haha, I thought I was going home but instead I wound up in your bed, weird huh? Did you sleep well?"

Naruto was so shocked Kakashi thought he was going to faint. His eyes became as large as small planets and he opened his mouth, coiling back from the silver-haired jounin.

"WHAATHEZZZKJS?" he started screaming incoherently as he had just woken up, but so loud Kakashi feared the entire village would hear.

Kakashi didn't think twice. He lunged forward and took Naruto's face into his hands, forcing him to look at him. There he activated his Sharingan and started spinning it around in a complex pattern.

"Repeat after me, Naruto. This is a dream."

Naruto didn't say anything, his eyes wide, staring at the red, spinning eye.

"Say it, Naruto. This is only a dream."

Naruto's eyes started closing again.

"This is only a dream…"

Kakashi kept holding his face.

"I will count until five, and when I tell you to wake up, you will forget that I was there. All right, Naruto?" he said gently.

Naruto's eyes closed but he didn't answer. Kakashi shook him a little.

"Naruto, when I tell you to wake up after I have counted until five, you will forget that I was there. Say it." he repeated.

"When…you tell me to…wake up after…five…I will forget that…that you were there…"

"Good…Okay I'm counting…Iiichi…"

He let go of Naruto's face and rapidly hopped down the bed.

"Niiiii…."

He put on his sandals.

"Saaan…"

He grabbed his vest and put it over his shoulders.

"Yooooon…"

He went to the window and jumped on the roof above where he laid down, dangling his head upside down so that he could see Naruto's bedroom.

"Go. Wake up, Naruto!"

Naruto blinked a few times in a daze, his mouth still open in a rather comic expression, while behind him, a patch of rebel silver hair disappeared from sight.

After the episode of Naruto holding the basket to him, Kakashi could feel that very slowly, the blonde's heart was opening up again to him, like a shy flower. Furthermore, the sight of Naruto being calmed down by his smell confirmed to him that he was indeed on the right way to regain Naruto's trust. He decided to be even more cautious, as he felt he was coming closer and closer to Naruto's heart. He knew that only one mistake would be enough to have him start all over again, and he kept admonishing himself for having nearly screwed everything up by allowing Naruto to wake up right into his arms. That had been way too close.

One day that Naruto was cutting wood in the forest, Kakashi, as usual, came to see him in order to give him tea and food. When he arrived, greeting Naruto with his usual, nonchalant "yo", his heart made a little jolt when he actually saw the ghost of a smile in Naruto's features, as the young man waved a hand to him, exhausted.

"Hello, Kakashi-sensei'.

The greeting was polite and formal, yet it was present. Kakashi thought that their relationship had improved drastically since that famous fight they had over a month ago. After all, on the first day Kakashi had come to Naruto to bring him supplies, the latter had almost thrown them back to his face.

"So, how is it going?" Kakashi inquired amiably.

Naruto fell on his rear with a long sigh. He was bare chested, and the sweat on his skin was catching the bright light, highlighting his muscles like touches of gold enhancing the tanned palette of his skin. Vaguely, something in Kakashi's mind stirred at the sight, and he thought that Naruto had become a handsome young man.

"Well…I'm completely harassed, Naruto answered, closing his eyes and raising his whiskered face to the sun.

"Here, have a break." Kakashi said, laying the basket down on the ground next to Naruto.

The Copy Ninja didn't know whether it was because Naruto was particularly exhausted that he was nearly unable to think, but he raised his blue eyes to Kakashi and in them, Kakashi thought he saw gratitude.

"Thank you, Kakashi-sensei…" he said, taking the basket in his lap.

Kakashi couldn't explain it, but he could feel that something in Naruto had changed. He didn't feel the fierce, violent aggressiveness the blonde had showed up at the start. Even though he could still feel the latent sorrow that was still threatening to spill over and crush Naruto's heart, the blonde looked more like himself.

That was when Kakashi decided to take another risk.

As Naruto was unwrapping what Kakashi had brought him, the silver-haired man slowly sat down next to the boy, looking away innocently.

Naruto didn't react.

Kakashi unconsciously let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. This was a very significant improvement. He felt as though he had succeeded in entering the fortress without waking Naruto's anger. For a long moment, he said nothing, just enjoying the fact to be able to sit there close to his cherished young friend while the young man was eating and drinking, closing his eyes with satisfaction, until the basket was empty.

The scene repeated itself the day after.

And the day after.

Until one day, Naruto asked Kakashi whether the man wanted to share his meal with him. At the question, Kakashi forced his face to remain impassive while his heart was jumping against his ribs.

"No, thank you Naruto-kun, I'm not hungry."

"Oh come on, shut up and eat this, ttebayo!" Naruto said while handing an onigiri over to him.

 _Ttebayo._

Kakashi almost cried at the little word. The last time it had appeared, it was back in Tsunade's office, when Naruto had asked her to give him something to do so he could think about something else. It was just as though that little word was a boat fighting on an agitated ocean, reappearing over the waves after being temporarily swallowed by the storm.

He was so moved that he could say anything for a moment and he just looked at Naruto, his throat tight, his heart beating fast. The blonde seemed to misinterpret his silence as he smirked a little.

"Yeah, yeah I know, I won't try to see your face. Here, I'm looking the other way. Happy?"

He turned his head away from Kakashi, still handing him the onigiri. Kakashi's heart melt, and he took the ball of rice into his hand.

"Ma, all right, arigatou, Naruto-kun."

As summer turned to autumn, our two friends started talking again. After long weeks of fighting against himself, of trying to untangle his own feelings, Naruto had to admit he was a little bit lost. Kakashi's presence was still making his heart ache, but it also had a soothing, calming effect. Moreover, Naruto couldn't help but feeling deeply touched by Kakashi's undying attention. The man was never far, and somehow, Naruto had come to think it was a very comforting thought. He was not alone, someone was watching over him at all times.

Progressively, he had started talking to his friends again. He had even let Iruka take him to Ichiraku's, as they used to do so often before it had all happened. However, he appreciated the fact that none of them ever talked about Jiraiya, as he knew he was not ready yet to face the atrocious hole that was tearing his chest apart.

Something in his heart had kept telling him that he had indeed been so wrong about Kakashi. That the man had never betrayed him, and the fact that Kakashi had remained by his side right from the start, standing his ground and persevering through Naruto's rejection contributed to persuading him of that fact. Slowly, he remembered how much he loved Kakashi, and how cold his life had become without him. He had thought that shutting Kakashi away from his life would help him bear the pain, but he had been terribly wrong, and he was only starting to realize it. The same went for Sai, Sakura, Iruka and all his friends. He was starting to realize how much he missed them all.

Hell, he was even starting to feel compassion for Tsunade.

That is how one day, he found himself on the brink of the abyss.

Both of the men had been taking some rest in Konoha's forest, sitting by the river. Kakashi had been telling Naruto about how he had once played a particularly mean prank on Gai. Indeed, the boisterous ninja had challenged Kakashi again, urging him to choose how they would compete. Kakashi had started by telling him to fuck off, but as usual, Gai had insisted for such a long time that Kakashi had finally given up.

"And that's when I had an idea…" Kakashi said, smiling behind his mask.

"What, what did you do?" Naruto asked, his blue eyes wide and sparkling in the slightly chilly sun, looking like an excited child.

"Ma…Actually I'm not proud of myself, it was not very nice." Kakashi scratched his head.

"Oh come on, spill it already!"

"Weeeell…I challenged him to a battle of blink."

"What?!"

"Hai…You know, the first one who blinks loses, that kind of stuff."

Naruto giggled.

"Are you serious?!"

"Oh yes I am."

"Hahahaha, and what happened?!" Naruto asked, eager to know.

"Well…The battle started…But I cast a genjutsu on him."

"Ehhh?! You fucking cheater ttebayo!" Naruto flared up.

"Yes, I know, I know. Anyway, I made him believe that I was still there right in front of him but it was an illusion. And of course my illusion didn't blink once. Guess how long Gai remained there, not blinking?"

"Mmmh…I don't know, two hours?"

"Two days."Kakashi said, lowering his head and playing absent mindedly with a twig.

" **Nannnndatooo?!** "

"Yep…He ended up in hospital, with an army of nurses forcing him down his bed while healing his eyes whose cornea had suffered real bad, and that bloody idiot kept screaming that the challenge was not over and that he had to go back and that nothing could stand in the way of his eternal youth, even though his eyes were as red as tomatoes. As you can imagine, I was rather ashamed of myself. Yet at the time, I hadn't realized how far that idiot could go just to beat me at one of his stupid challenges."

"But…How is that possible?! I mean…How can you not blink for two freaking days?!"

"Well I think Gai used his chakra to keep his eyelids from falling. You can't imagine how resourceful that man is, he can be truly surprising. He can pull out the most intelligent strategies just to do something completely stupid."

"Hahaha, you're such a bastard ttebayo!"

Naruto jerked his head backwards and let out such a sincere, heartfelt laugh that Kakashi thought it was by far the most beautiful laugh he had ever heard. For the first time in long weeks of hard feelings and heavy atmosphere, Naruto's face was bright and happy again. His white teeth were shining in the light, and he was clutching his sides with his hands, all his body shaking with gasps of mirth. The sight was so beautiful and heartwarming that Kakashi couldn't fight the bubbles of love that seemed to burst in every one of his cells, and he just let himself be carried away by Naruto's laugh. He started by chuckling softly, and progressively, his chuckle turned into a frank, hearty laugh.

For a long time, their happy gasps and hiccups resonated throughout the forest that had dressed with a dazzling mantle of red, orange and gold, its leaves falling softly from the branches that had seen them come to life just a few months ago.

Then Naruto stopped laughing, and a very strange glow passed in his blue eyes.

Kakashi's laugh slowly died down as well, and he discretely observed the boy.

Naruto had become still, staring at the water that was flowing by.

For a long moment, they remained silent, before Naruto spoke again.

"Kakashi…"

Something in the way Naruto whispered his name made Kakashi's entire being flood with an incredible mixture of deep sadness and absolute tenderness.

It was a whisper that came from the utmost depths of Naruto's heart, a breath that held so much pain that it could only be carried out in a broken murmur, so soft and discrete it was almost covered by the song of the water nearby.

"Yes, Naruto-kun?" Kakashi answered with his most tender voice.

Naruto's hands were clutching the flask, his entire body was tense.

"I…I wanted to tell you that…"

That was it, Kakashi thought.

He had finally arrived at the end of the long, tortuous way.

He had succeeded in reaching Naruto's heart, and he was standing right at the threshold, while Naruto was on the other side of the door, his hand clutching the doorknob.

Kakashi remained absolutely still, ready to enfold Naruto deep into his arms and hold him tight and close as the boy would, at last, release the immense pain he had been fighting back for almost two months.

Yet Naruto didn't say anything. Kakashi's heart clenched when he saw his blue eyes fill up with tears.

The blonde raised his face to the sky and bit his lips, and Kakashi knew he was trying hard not to cry.

Kakashi held out a hand and rested it on Naruto's shoulder.

He was opening his mouth to tell the blonde that it was okay to let it out.

He was just a few minutes away from finally reaching his goal.

Yet that's the moment an ANBU agent chose to appear right before them.

With only four words, he shattered the spell to pieces, and with it, the fruit of Kakashi's patient efforts.

"The body was found."


	7. The Eye of the Storm

**Chapter Seven: The Eye of the Storm**

 _ **AN: Hi everyone! Sorry for the long wait, I'm currently drowning under a ton of work so the next chapters are sloooowly being written. Actually I cut the beginning of the next chapter to make this one because it was way too long, so here's a little calm chapter which is a little insight into Sakura's mind. I hope you like it, and don't worry, I haven't given up the story, the next chapters will be published progressively! Thank you for your patience and have a nice reading.**_

Sakura was drying her pink hair absent-mindedly, rubbing the towel on her head, her eyes wandering on her image in the mirror. She looked tired. That day at the hospital had been quite difficult. Early in the morning, as she had arrived at her post, she had been informed that Tsunade had asked for her. When she had entered her shishou's office, she had been genuinely surprised as the blonde hokage seemed to have grown older overnight. She looked terribly sad and tired, and she seemed to have been drinking several glasses of sake.

"Tsunade-sama, what's wrong?"

"Fukasaku found Jiraiya." Tsunade had whispered.

Sakura's heart had stopped, and she had rushed at Tsunade's side.

"Oh God, I'm sorry…How…How are you feeling?" she had asked, concerned.

Tsunade had raised her honey eyes to her and smiled softly.

"I'll survive, Sakura. Thank you for your concern. I…I just wanted to ask you a little favor."

"Anything."

"I need some time alone today. I wanted to know if you felt like you could manage the hospital by yourself today, as I taught you."

Sakura had gulped. Of course, she had thought that Tsunade had really fallen on her head, and that there was absolutely no way a sixteen year old kunoichi could run an entire hospital all by herself. Yet Tsunade had seemed to read her thoughts.

"Daijoubu, Sakura. I have faith in you, you are more than capable of doing it. In addition to that you won't be completely alone: the other medic nins will just be under your orders but they will help you take care of things. And if there's a real emergency of course, you can call me. But…I just need to…you know, have a little time to myself."

Her voice had died in her throat and she had seemed to hide her tears by taking a gulp of sake. Sakura's heart had tightened and her own eyes too had started to water. That had been the second time she had seen Tsunade so sad. She loved that woman like a spiritual mother, and she hated seeing her so down. That was why she had decided that she would do her best to allow her to grieve in peace, just for one day.

Slowly, she had reached out and patted Tsunade's shoulder gently.

"You can count on me, Tsunade-sama."

The blonde hokage had sniffed and without looking at the young woman, she had raised her hand and laid it above Sakura's hand on her shoulder.

"Thank you. It means a lot to me. Could you leave me now, please?"

Sakura had clenched her teeth and her face had saddened.

"Of course. Please call me if you need anything…"

"I will…Thank you Sakura."

That had been the start of the worst day of Sakura's life.

She had kept running throughout the entire hospital, as the nurses and other medic nins had kept soliciting her. She had bathed, fed, cleaned, drugged, healed, she had signed up an entire pile of papers after barely reading them, and she hadn't even stopped to grab something to eat. She wanted Tsunade to be proud of her, and she had worked like a beast for long, harassing hours, so much that she had ended up mixing the numerous patients in her head. In addition to that, she had to struggle all day to shut her mind off, as the latter kept drifting to one specific person.

Naruto.

Did he know? How was he going to react? Did Kakashi know? How was he going to tell him the news?

As she was brushing her hair, Sakura sighed. She had to stay rather late at the hospital, and she had just come back an hour ago. She had just spent twenty minutes under the shower, worrying. Now, she was biting her lip.

She hadn't heard anything from Kakashi…

It had been several weeks since she had found shelter and comfort in Kakashi's embrace. That night, she had felt immensely sad and hopeless. Earlier that same day, Naruto had been rather harsh with her, telling her that he just didn't want to talk to her. Even though Sakura understood that he was suffering a lot, she had been deeply hurt. Naruto had never, ever talked to her that way, let alone looked at her with such coldness in his eyes.

That cold, steel look...

Sakura's fingers clenched around the mantle of the hairbrush and she winced while a very specific face drifted through her mind. It was a handsome face, framed with deep dark hair, but with icily cold eyes boring through her.

Sasuke…

Yes, at that precise moment, when Naruto had told her that he didn't want to talk to her, she had felt just as though Sasuke had infiltrated Naruto's body and sent her off again. That night, she had felt as though something had broken within Naruto, and she was was losing him as she had lost Sasuke. She had felt as though she was suffocating, and she absolutely had to talk to someone. Even before Sai, Sakura had immediately thought about Kakashi. She knew that Sai would be devoted and attentive to her, but at that moment, she really needed Kakashi's calm, solid presence. She needed to nestle in his strong, protective arms, and she needed to feel those arms squeeze her tight against his beating heart.

Yet she had promised herself she would not cry in front of him. She hated herself for being so emotional. As a matter of fact, she used to cry often, and it made her feel weak and ridiculous, especially in front of men. So when she had knocked on Kakashi's door that night, she had sworn to remain strong and not turn into a noisy heap of tears and snot. When Kakashi had opened the door and embraced her in his arms, she had already found it extremely difficult not to burst into tears as the man was tenderly holding her face into his chest and squeezing her hard in his strong, bare arms. However, she had managed to control herself. She had breathed his characteristic, calming smell, which was mixed with the perfume of his shower gel.

And then she had seen the picture of Team Seven on Kakashi's bed.

She had taken the picture in her hands.

Her eyes had drifted over Sasuke's lost face, then Kakashi's crinkled smile…

…and Naruto's pissed off face.

There, she had truly realized how much she loved Naruto, and how much the idea of losing him after Sasuke was unbearable. Naruto was her best friend, they had grown up together, and at that precise moment, she had hated herself so much for all the harm she had done him. Her heart had flooded with so much emotion she had thought she was going to collapse.

That's when she hadn't been able to stop herself.

Feeling the sobs crawling up her throat, she had tried to muffle them in her hand, but of course Kakashi had heard her. Sakura's heart warmed, and she smiled in front of her mirror when she remembered the way the silver-haired man had engulfed her whole in his arms, how he had pushed her face deep into his chest as though he wanted to swallow her in his heart. He had devoted himself to her, entirely, unconditionally. He had told her it was okay to cry, and he had shushed and caressed her tenderly while Sakura was drowning his chest under her tears. His words, his tenderness and his soothing voice had made her cry even more, but Kakashi had just held her tighter, with patience and protectiveness, keeping her held close to his heart.

Actually, Sakura had been truly touched that not only Kakashi did hold her in his arms for the entire night, but he also told her the truth. She had been touched by his apologies about having failed her back on that day on the hospital roof. He had looked at her right in the eye and confessed her that himself was lost, but that he would find a way. And that promise had meant so much more than empty words such as "Everything is fine, don't worry". Kakashi had been true to her, and Sakura was grateful to him for that.

As a matter of fact, Kakashi's words and tenderness had been particularly efficient. He had succeeded in giving her hope, and she had followed Tsunade's orders to the letter, leaving Naruto in peace, letting Kakashi work with him. Along with the regular reports he made or sent to Tsunade, Kakashi had always made sure Sakura was also informed of his progress, and the pink-haired kunoichi was very grateful for that too.

Little by little, her hope had grown, and she had been so happy to sit again next to Naruto at Ichiraku's. She had observed him carefully. He still had that strange, unusual glow in his blue eyes, he had lost some weight, but she had recognized her best friend.

The last time she had seen him, she had died to hug him and cry in his strong shoulder, but she had restrained herself, and instead she had laid a gentle kiss on his cheek. Then she had left for the hospital with the memory of Naruto's beautiful, sincere smile that had created a nut of warmth and happiness into her heart, following her all day.

Sakura sighed and threw the brush aside before rubbing her tired eyes with her fingers. She couldn't stand not knowing what was going on, but she knew that sooner or later, Kakashi would let her know. She just had to be patient…

Just as she was telling herself that she wasn't known for her patience, she heard someone knock on the door. Her mother went to open, and Sakura heard her exclaim in delight at the sight of their visitor. Both exchanged a few words, and Sakura's mother shouted:

"Saaaakura-chaaaan! Kakashi-saaaan is heeeeere!"

Sakura started and let her brush fall on the ground.

"Sensei?!" she wondered.

She passed her head through the door and shouted back.

"Okay I'm coming down in a minute!"

She heard her mother insist for Kakashi to come inside.

"Oh no, no really Mrs Haruno this is so nice of you but I will just be fine out there see, with the stars and..."

"Tatatata! Come on young man, don't be so shy, there's still some tea left. Come in!"

"Anoo...Oh look, there's a bird over there…"

Sakura couldn't help but chuckle. Kakashi was really cute when he was embarrassed, and her mother would always insist for him to come inside when he came by to see Sakura. She would sit him on the couch and cover him with biscuits and tea, and then she would keep blabbering, and her father would keep making terrible jokes. Yet as Kakashi was as patient and polite as an angel, he would remain there, sitting and smiling like an idiot, laughing politely and trying to drink his tea while Sakura's parents were busy arguing. More than once, Sakura had surprised him casting her such an imploring look that she had giggled in her hand before flying to his help and pretending they had to meet Naruto and Sai at Ichiraku's.

Hearing her mother's endless chirping, Sakura dressed up quickly and got down the stairs and into the living room.

"Hello, Kakashi sensei!" She said, happy and relieved to see him.

"Yo, Sakura-chan. I was wondering if you would have a walk with me?"

Sakura realized that Kakashi looked tired and worried.

"O…of course, sensei", she replied, her throat tight.

"Will you two be dining outside? You're most welcome to eat with us, Kakashi-san."

Kakashi rose on his feet and took Sakura's mother's hands into his own, bowing slightly.

"That's adorable of you, Mrs Haruno, but I think we will be eating outside. Don't worry, I'll walk Sakura back home. Not that she needs me to defend herself though; your daughter is stronger than I am!" Kakashi chuckled, rubbing the back of his head.

Sakura's mother laughed and nodded before shooing them out.

"All right my dear children, then off you go and have a good time" she said while winking to Sakura in a particularly suggestive way.

"Oh dear god..." Sakura said.

Kakashi laughed awkwardly and both got down the stairs to the street that was passing down Sakura's house.

There, Sakura sighed.

"I'm sorry sensei, she is still convinced that you are her future son in law..."

Kakashi wrapped an arm around the girl's shoulders and giggled.

"Ma, it's okay Sakura-chan, I'm used to have that effect on women…AND men, for that matter!"

Sakura chuckled and wrapped her arm around his waist, resting her head against his side.

"You big show-off", she said with a smile.

Now that she thought about it, the two of them were so close that from an outside point of view, their relationship could indeed be seen like a little bit more than just friendship. Yet Sakura had never felt that way for Kakashi, and she knew Kakashi had never felt that way either for her. They were close and they had come to hang out a lot together, sometimes hugging or just wrapping an arm around the other. Kakashi, although he always remained rather discrete in public, was a very tender man. He had long arms that would come around Sakura's body and engulf her completely into his chest. Sakura had noticed that he liked tucking her nose right into the center of his chest, against his sternum, which explained that sometimes she could barely breathe when he held her so tight her face was squashed between his pectorals. As a matter of fact, it seemed to be a very distinctive feature of Kakashi's hugs, as she had often seen him embrace Naruto like this. Sakura sometimes wondered whether Kakashi hadn't become way tenderer towards Naruto and her after Sasuke had left. She knew how much the man blamed himself for letting him go, and she thought that maybe that had made him realize how much he loved them. Maybe Kakashi had realized that if he had just hugged Sasuke sometimes, if he had been warmer and more attentive, he could have stopped him from leaving.

Anyway, because Kakashi was so tender and caring, Sakura had often found herself longing to be in his arms when she felt sad or lonely. That was why she had once started wondering about her feelings for Kakashi. After all, she had always thought that the man was elegant and reliable, and that he ought to be very handsome under his mask. Yet after thinking it through, she had come to the conclusion that she loved Kakashi as the older brother she never had. Just like Naruto, even though the two of them had never talked about it, Sakura adored curling into the silver-haired man's arms because he had the power to make her feel safe, protected and loved. She was grateful for that relationship: it gave her the feeling that no matter what, Kakashi would always be right by her side, all her life, and it was a very comforting thought.

In addition to that, she had never really got over Sasuke.

She winced again at the thought of the raven-haired man and shook her head to change her thoughts. Kakashi sensed it and he squeezed her shoulders a little tighter.

"You okay?"

"Yep! I'm just a bit cold but it's okay."

"Oh, I'm sorry, here, take my jacket." Kakashi said, taking his green uniform off.

"No, no it's okay, really, sensei!"

"Hush now. Who's going to fix my ass up when I get back from a mission if you get sick?" Kakashi said while wrapping Sakura's thin shoulders in his jacket.

"Well, it will give you the opportunity to meet the other medic nins, you know? Those who work in a tall, white building called Konoha's hospital?"

"Aww, Sakura-chan, you wouldn't let your old sensei die alone in one of these gloomy, cold rooms now would you?"

Sakura frowned and raised her eyes up to her friend.

"Don't say such things, Kakashi, you know I hate it."

She suddenly looked very serious and upset, and Kakashi didn't like that look in her eyes. He suddenly remembered that Sakura had a particular fear of her loved ones dying alone, and he felt stupid. Looking around and noticing that the street was almost empty, he wrapped his arms around her and tucked her face in his dark blue shirt.

"Ma…Okay, okay forgive me…You know how my jokes can be terrible right?"He whispered, squeezing her shoulders very tight and burying her face in the hollow of his chest.

"That one was particularly bad, sensei" Sakura answered.

Kakashi raised a hand up to her head and pressed her face further in his chest.

"You're right. I'm sorry."

Sakura let out a muffled sigh.

"t'sokay…"

Kakashi laid his masked lips on top of Sakura's head, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He held her tighter, making sure his warmth was seeping all the way to her bones, and he frowned, thinking about how on earth he was supposed to tell her how much the ANBU agent had screwed everything up without having her blow up the entire country.

As she felt his strong chest swell under her nose and lips, Sakura's heart tightened.

"What's wrong, sensei?" she asked, her voice muffled in his shirt.

Kakashi gave her a last squeeze before letting go of her and kissing her forehead.

"Let's go get some beers and something to eat first, shall we?" Kakashi said, forcing himself to smile.

Sakura didn't insist, and they went to the little grocery store by the end of the river where they used to stop before they went to settle down and talk under the stars. It was like a ritual between the two of them. Once or twice a month, they had got used to meet each other by the river, making a fire, having a snack and a couple of drinks, and talking and laughing together. It had all started two years ago, when Kakashi had stumbled upon a pensive Sakura by the river one evening. Closing his book, he had come to sit by her and asked her whether she was okay. She had smiled at him and told him that she liked that spot. As a matter of fact, it truly was a beautiful place: it was a small peninsula on the extremity of Konoha, surrounded by the river which was calmly streaming down through the forest. She had told him that she liked coming here and dream. They had spent hours talking, and Kakashi had asked her if she was hungry, proposing to go fetch some food. That is how they had found out that they both loved these moments together, and the ritual settled down implicitly. Kakashi was a patient listener, and Sakura had often ended up crying in his arms under that particular tree.

Once they had bought all they needed, in addition to non alcoholic beers for Sakura who was still underage, they sat down and Kakashi got busy lighting the fire. Then they leaned against the tree, and Sakura laid her head on Kakashi's shoulder. That, also, was an implicit agreement. Sakura would always make sure she couldn't see Kakashi's face while he was eating or drinking, and the silver-haired man was grateful to her for that.

They sipped they drinks, looking at the stars, not saying a word.

After a moment of silence, Sakura cleared her throat.

"So...I suppose you heard that Jiraiya-sama's body was found, didn't you?"

Kakashi sighed.

"Yes I heard that too…"

He took a breath and closed his eyes.

"…and so did Naruto who was with me when that damn ANBU agent told me."

Sakura coughed on her beer.

"Are you kidding me?" she said, turning her head towards Kakashi but still not looking at him.

"I wish I was..."

They both remained silent for a moment. Kakashi waited, but Sakura didn't scream or get mad. Actually, the young woman could feel that Kakashi was sad and worried, and it made her forget her anger.

"How did he react?" Sakura whispered.

Kakashi had a sad smile.

"He didn't..."

He was turning the bottle in his long hands, his head low, his legs bent in nonchalant angles as he was leaning against the trunk as though it was the only thing that kept him from falling backwards and just sleep without ever waking up again.

"He didn't say a damn word."

He sighed.

"He just shut himself deeper than he has ever done since that shit all started."

Kakashi drank a gulp, and Sakura closed her eyes, devastated.

"I was so close, he whispered, God I was so close. You should have seen his eyes, Sakura. For just a moment there I saw it. I saw his pain, and hell, it's so enormous he could barely speak. It was just as if he was trapped behind these eyes. Just a few more seconds and he would have collapsed in my arms. Just a few more seconds..."

He took another gulp, and when he lowered the bottle, his face was twisted in a silent growl.

"...and that bloody idiot just screwed it all up. God it had been a long time since the last time I wanted to kill anyone so badly. I mean what the hell was he thinking?! And why did Tsunade send such a cretin?"

Sakura lifted Kakashi's arm and pressed her body closer to his own. Kakashi wrapped his arm around her shoulders and squeezed her.

"I have no idea… I…I think she might have been particularly upset, maybe she didn't specify to the agent that it was classified information…" she suggested.

"Ma, come on, ANBU agents are highly trained and intelligent individuals. How can you be stupid enough to just break out to a guy that the corpse of a man he loved like his grandfather has just been found, and thus that there is no more doubt about the fact that he is dead? I mean come on, he just said that like if he was telling Naruto what was for dinner for crying out loud!"

"Well I don't know…I thought ANBU agents were trained to forget their emotions…I mean look at Sai…"

Kakashi sighed. Of course she was right, and having been ANBU himself, he knew the secret organization's ways much too well.

"Have they brought Jiraiya back to Konoha yet?" Sakura asked.

Kakashi shook his head.

"No… Fukasaku is on his way from what I've heard."

Kakashi finished his beer, laid the bottle down next to him and pulled his mask back up.

"Where is Naruto?"

"Well…, Kakashi answered, After we learned the news yesterday, he just rose up on his feet and left. I told the ANBU agent that he should definitely avoid crossing my path again if he didn't want to die a slow and painful death, and I ran after Naruto. I thought he was crying but…He was just like a pillar of stone. I had to actually catch him by his shoulders so that he would look at me and talk to me. But he just told me he was going to go home and sleep, and that he needed to be alone. He…You know just a few minutes ago we were both laughing our hearts off…But there he just…It felt just as if he was dead inside. Just as if that blessed, tiny moment we had together had just vanished like a bubble of soap."

He sighed and rubbed his tired eyes.

"I took him home anyway and put him to bed. I told him that I was there for him and that he could call me if ever he needed someone to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on. He didn't answer. Oh Sakura, you can't imagine how much I was dying to take him in my arms. He just curled up on himself and closed his eyes, and he looked so…lonely. I would have given anything to just lie down beside him and put his face in my chest…Just to let him know that I was there. I wouldn't have said a word. I would just have held him against me."

"What stopped you?" Sakura asked.

"I don't know…He seemed so far away. I didn't want to suffocate him whereas he had asked me to leave him in peace. So I just adjusted the covers on him, I caressed his hair and I got out. I returned to spending the entire night sitting like a crow on his roof, as well as the entire day today. I'm telling you that damn roof has got to have my bottom printed on it. "

"He hasn't been moving at all?"

"No…Just like a month ago when he spent three days locked up. I feel like everything just went back to point zero, and that I have to start all over again."

Kakashi sighed again.

"Anyway…I have left Pakkun with him tonight so I could have a shower and talk to you. How have you heard about Jiraiya?"

"Tsunade-sama told me this morning…"

Kakashi's jaw clenched.

"How is she?"

"I've never seen her so sad. She even asked me to take the hospital over today so that she could be alone." Sakura answered.

"Oh? You took the hospital over by yourself ?" Kakashi asked, surprised.

"Yeah."

"So how did it go?"

Sakura sighed and turned her face to hide it in Kakashi's collarbone.

"Awful. I was so anxious that I made so many mistakes... I even forgot a bucket full of vomit right in the corridor and one of the nurses bumped into it while she was getting out of a room…"

Kakashi chuckled, smiling down fondly at his Sakura.

"Oh, my poor sweetie..."

"Stop laughing, you mean sensei. I really tried to do my best today but it was really too much alone."

Kakashi caressed her hair and rested his cheek on it.

"I'm sure you were very good in spite of your mistakes. It was your first day as chief medic, anyone would be anxious and a little overheaded, don't you think?"

"Pff…Says the man who became jounin at nine years old." Sakura answered in sulky voice.

Kakashi giggled again.

"Maaa, don't be so hard on yourself. Everyone follows their own path. And I'm very impressed by the young woman you have become."

Sakura smiled and blushed slightly.

"Really, sensei?"

"Of course. We need to have you work on having more faith in yourself, you know?"

Sakura sighed.

"Mmh...I don't know…Anyway, I knew that was going to be a horrible day but…You should have seen Tsunade-sama. She looked so devastated, it killed me to see her like that…I just had to do something for her."

Her voice died in her throat.

Kakashi closed his eyes and squeezed Sakura against him while laying a kiss in her hair.

"It's going to be okay. She's very strong, she will get through this. But like for Naruto, we have to be there for her. No one should endure that kind of thing alone, and I'm afraid Naruto really hurt her feelings by ignoring her own pain."

"Mmh…You're right…I will show her that we're here for her. I mean…That must be difficult to be the Hokage, no one dares to… you know…Just comfort you."

Kakashi remembered when he had hesitated to put his hand on Tsunade's shoulder when Naruto had just stormed out of her office. Indeed, he didn't dare, because he thought she was his boss. Yet now that he thought about it, maybe it would have helped her a bit to feel that Kakashi wasn't only her subordinate, but also her friend.

None of them said another word for a moment.

"I don't want Naruto to see him." Kakashi blurted out suddenly.

Sakura, knowing he had his mask on again, shifted against him and raised her head to look at him.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean …Just…Just imagine the state in which Jiraiya must be. You have seen what they did to Asuma…Just try to picture to what lengths they had to go to get rid of one of the legendary sannins."

He shook his head and his face contorted behind his mask.

"I don't want him to see this. I don't want him to go through this, no one should."

Sakura put her hand on Kakashi's shoulder and squeezed it slightly, a sad glow shining in her eyes.

"I know sensei, but you cannot deny him the right to see his body. Jiraiya sama was like his grandfather, and as Naruto was the closest thing Jiraiya sama had to a family... If Naruto wants to see the body...and he will...we cannot stop him. That would be wrong on the legal point of view as well as on the human one. Plus, I think it might be necessary to…you know…make him accept his death."

Kakashi raised sad eyes towards her and sighed. Sakura's heart clenched at the sight. She wrapped her arms around her silver-haired friend's neck, burying her face in his shoulder and patting his beautiful hair.

"It's going to be hard, but he won't be alone. I'm pretty sure I will be the one in charge of the autopsy…And I promise you I will do my best to make the body...look less awful…before Naruto sees it."

Kakashi didn't say anything for a moment. Then he sighed.

"Come here…" he breathed out.

He lifted Sakura to pull her in his lap. He wrapped his own arms around her and both of them just held on to each other, not saying anything. They both felt as though they were standing in the eye of a particularly strong storm, and clinging to each other made them feel stronger. They were both focusing on providing their warmth to the other, like two lost and nervous animals seeking comfort in times of doubt. Kakashi tangled his hand up into her hair and caressed her while he buried his masked nose into her soft shoulder, breathing her flowery scent.

"If it can reassure you a little, sensei, you have been doing a wonderful job these last weeks."

"That was not enough..." Kakashi whispered.

"Of course it was. We're almost there Kakashi sensei, that damn ANBU agent didn't break anything in the end, he just postponed the moment when Naruto will finally accept to grieve."

"Sakura, this will not be that easy. Naruto has shut away deeper than ever. And seeing Jiraiya-sama's mutilated body…I'm certain the worst is yet to come."

Sakura remained silent for a short time. She could feel Kakashi's heavy, worried heart.

When she was a little girl, seeing Kakashi anxious was rare. He was the rock, the pillar to which everyone could always cling to. To every problem, he had a solution. No matter the enemy, no matter the danger, Kakashi had the incredible capacity of keeping his head cool and think with extraordinary acuity and rapidity. That's why in the rare occasions she had seen Kakashi anxious, as when he thought Zabuza was going to kill his genins, she had herself felt lost and nervous because her pillar was weakened. Yet as she grew up, as the man and her friends helped her become a prouder, stronger woman, she had started seeing Kakashi more as a human being than as a heartless robot. She had come to understand that the best way to make Kakashi nervous was to threaten the people he loved. Yet generally that was also a very dangerous thing to do, as it had the power to unleash Kakashi's anger, which was legendary. They said that of you actually made Kakashi angry, the last thing you would ever see would be a blood and grey murderous stare lurking at the core of a fantastic dance of lightning bolts.

Kakashi was strong, calm and constant, yet as the years had gone by, Sakura had figured out hidden features of his personality. During the evenings they spent together, the man had always remained discrete, never truly telling Sakura about the tragedies of his past. Yet, he had come to slip out some details which had given her an insight of the lonely and regretful soul hiding behind the eccentric, kind and always late man. She had found out that he had a lot of demons concealed behind his mask, yet he never, ever complained. He never talked about himself, yet on the other hand he would always lend an ear and a shoulder to Sakura when she needed to talk. He would dedicate himself to take care of the people he loved. He would just put himself aside to jump in the path of the weapon threatening a person, should that person be friend or colleague, brother or stranger.

That was why Kakashi was such a touching hero.

That was why Sakura now felt the incredible urge to carry a little bit of that fantastic man's burden, just for a moment, so that he could recover his breath and then resume being such a beautiful, precious friend to them all.

"It's going to be all right, sensei. We will be there for him. As you said, we will get through this together. I'll be strong, like you have always been." she said.

Kakashi's eyes widened a little. He sighed and smiled fondly, deeply touched by Sakura's words. He squeezed her in his arms and kissed her hair.

"You are already strong, my Sakura chan. I'm proud of you, and I am the one who is lucky to have you by my side."

Sakura didn't say anything, but her heart filled with warmth and she smiled, nuzzling her face into Kakashi's strong neck like an affectionate cat.

As for Kakashi, he kept holding Sakura to him while letting his eyes wander in the horizon. The night was fresh and calm, and the last leaves were falling from the high trees. The hairy and lush forest had turned into a gigantic city of nude, majestuous trees waiting for the gentle warmth of spring to come and wake them from their peaceful slumber. The appeased river was reflecting the stars, but in the quiet water, the jounin was seeing something else.

He was seeing fire, blood and pain.

He closed his eyes and focused on Sakura's warmth to try and forget that threatening voice nagging him in his heart, whispering in the darkness.

 _The worst is yet to come._


	8. Until the End

**Chapter Eight: Until the End**

 _ **AN: I listened to a lot of music for that part. If you'd like to be in the mood, I recommand the song of Gandalf's death for the first part in the hospital, then Epic Score's Liberators, Two Steps from Hell's Eldorado for the more "active" part :) I really hope you will like that chapter.**_

Naruto's head was dull and heavy.

He was meandering into a sea of fog, as he was walking Konoha's streets towards the hospital.

 _The body was found._

The words had the same effect as those Tsunade had pronounced all these weeks ago.

Such a long time…

It seemed to him that years had passed since Jiraiya had left him for the last time.

Since Jiraiya had ruffled his hair and handed him a popsicle.

His feet were making him closer and closer to the hospital.

He knew what he was going to find in there.

And God, he didn't want this.

For all these weeks, he had clung to a tiny, fierce hope…

He had clung to the crazy thought that if they hadn't found the corpse…

…then Ero-sennin might well be still alive somewhere.

After all, he was Ero-sennin right? The man was a legend, just like Kakashi-sensei. How could he die? People like him didn't die. They lived old and inspired countless tales about their heroic adventures. They just couldn't get slaughtered alone in some gloomy pool, somewhere in the end of the world, without anyone to assist to his last, heroic breath.

No, that just didn't make sense…

… _so what the hell am I doing here?_

Naruto had arrived in the hospital. Like a robot, he automatically headed towards the autopsy room.

His heart was beating fast, and his lungs seemed to fill with toxic air, making him want to run away and hide somewhere where he could breathe.

He turned in the corridor, and there he stopped dead in his feet.

Leaning against the wall by the double door of the autopsy room, his silver hair shining softly under the greenish, electric light, was Kakashi.

Naruto didn't move, but Kakashi sensed his presence and raised his eyes.

Both of them stared at each other for a few moments, then Naruto took a deep breath and started walking again.

Kakashi didn't make a move, until Naruto arrived in front of the door. There, Kakashi laid a hand on Naruto's shoulder.

"Naruto-kun."

Naruto didn't say anything, but he stopped nonetheless.

Kakashi took a breath. This was going to be extremely delicate.

"You know, sometimes it's better to keep to the last happy memories we have of the person we lost."

Naruto raised his eyes to him and looked at him coldly.

"Are you seriously going to try to stop me from seeing him?"

Kakashi sighed and placed both his hands on Naruto's shoulders, turning the younger body towards him.

"Technically yes, but I know you won't listen to me, and I don't have the right to stop you from actually going in there. I'm just saying that…"

Naruto kept looking at him without saying anything. Kakashi sighed again and decided that the best call was to be honest.

"Naruto, believe me, what you are going to see in there is **not** pretty. I…I'm just worried about you."

"Because...? You think I'm not able to handle it right? How surprising," Naruto sniggered darkly.

"Maa, that is not what I said, please stop twisting my words. I'm worried about you because anyone would be particularly upset to see a loved one in that state. I…"

Kakashi closed his eyes.

"Okay here it is. I will not stop you from entering that room. But I just want you to remember that I am here, if…If you need someone by your side. I'm here for you. You don't even have to talk. Just come to me or give me a sign. I will be there immediately."

Naruto's eyes softened and he lowered his head, sighing softly. When he looked up again, Kakashi saw more lassitude in his blue eyes than anger or resentment.

"It's okay, sensei. I..I guess I appreciate what you're trying to do." He whispered, patting Kakashi's forearm.

Kakashi's eyebrows flew up as he didn't expect that reaction.

"I guess this had to happen at some point, you know, Naruto went on. I just…I just need to go in there to make sure all of this is not a damn nightmare or some sort of sick joke, you know…"

His throat tightened and he avoided Kakashi's concerned eyes. He squeezed his forearm again and turned to the door.

"Anyway, don't worry about me, sensei. I can handle this."

He held his head high and entered the room although his stomach was twisting and screaming for him to run away as far as he could.

The room was rather small and lit by the characteristic, electric lights that seemed to absorb all the warmth present in the atmosphere, only leaving a sensation of cold and sorrow. In the center of the room was a table, on which there was a rather large shape covered with a white sheet. Sakura was standing near the table. She seemed tired and concerned, as though she hadn't slept much in days. She came forward as soon as Naruto entered the room.

"Hey, Naruto…" she said, giving him a brief hug.

She took his hand and led him to the table. There, she looked at him, anxious. Naruto's face was unusually grave and solemn. He was completely silent. Sakura took a deep breath.

"Okay, Naruto, I must warn you…He has been underwater for about three months…I did my best to repair the damaged tissues but…you're in for quite a shock." She said with all the gentleness she was capable of.

Naruto nodded.

"I'm ready." He whispered.

And Sakura drew the sheet to uncover Jiraiya's body.

Naruto had a soft gasp at the sight, and his fists clenched. He remained completely silent for a moment, his breath shuddering, his nostrils flaring as though he was trying hard not to cry.

Feeling his pain, Sakura's eyes filled with tears, and she laid her hand gently over Naruto's slightly shaking arm.

"I'm so sorry, Naruto-kun…"

Naruto grabbed her forearm and squeezed it softly.

"Sakura…Will you please leave me a moment? I need to be alone with him." He whispered in a broken murmur.

"Of course…I'll be waiting with Kakashi-sensei outside…Call us if you need anything. We're right here with you, you're not alone, okay?" Sakura answered.

She rubbed his back in a comforting gesture before turning on her heels and heading towards the doors. She opened them and stepped out before closing them behind her. Kakashi didn't say anything, but he observed her attentively. Sakura, on the verge of bursting out in tears, turned her back to him and pretended to just look at Naruto through the little square window of the left door, covering her mouth with her hand. Yet Kakashi wasn't stupid, and he knew Sakura well. His face saddened and he came behind the young woman. There, he encircled her body with his long arms and enveloped her in a warm hug, pulling her into his chest. He rested his chin on her shoulder, and didn't say a word; he just focused on holding her firmly but tenderly.

What was there to say?

The sight of Naruto standing in there in front of Jiraiya's mutilated corpse was difficult to stand. He could literally feel the waves of sorrow crushing the boy's young heart, and his own throat was too tight to emit a sound. Soon, he heard Sakura sniff discretely and take a shuddering breath. Kakashi realized she was crying silently and that she was struggling to hide her emotions from him. He tightened the circle of his arms around her and brought his lips against her ear.

"Don't hide from me, Sakura-chan…Let it out…"

Sakura let out a small sob and her nails came to dig into his forearms, her body shaking.

"G…God I'm…I'm s-sorry…I…I thought I c-could…Control m-myself…" she murmured, trying to control her sobs.

"Shhhhhh…"Kakashi blew in her ear, rocking her slowly.

He kissed her temple and brought a hand up to soothe her hair and remove the pink strands which had fallen before her eyes.

"There's nothing to be sorry about." He whispered before resting his chin on top of her head. He lifted his arms up a bit so that they encircled Sakura's chest, and he squeezed her tighter, crushing her back to his hard chest as he watched Naruto come closer to the table.

Jiraiya was almost unrecognizable. His skin was an awful shade between grey and green. Some parts of his face had started blackening as the skin was getting more and more nectrotic in the ambient air. His entire frame seemed thinner, and his chest seemed slightly caved in. Naruto took one of his hands and caressed it slowly. It was skeletal, almost crumbling under his touch, as though it was somehow made of dust.

Then, there were the wounds.

Naruto's eyes filled with tears and his throat tightened awfully at the sight of the multiple bruises that were covering Jiraiya's face. His strong nose seemed to be broken and he had a deep, enormous gash on the right side of his face. His upper lip was split and it seemed to Naruto that he had lost several teeth. The ribs were tearing through his sides, and Naruto could tell most of them had been broken, piercing the man's lungs and dealing a lot of internal damage.

Yet what really crushed Naruto's heart was the soft, serene smile that was still stretching Jiraiya's dead, black lips.

The young man let out a small sob which he muffled in his hand.

"No…" he whispered, as the tears fell down on his cheeks.

That smile was recognizable among millions.

Even though Naruto had hard time recognize his shishou from the terrible state he was in, that smile was so intimate, so specific that he could never mistake it for anyone else's.

"Ero…s-sennin…" Naruto gasped, the sobs crawling in his throat as he was caressing Jiraiya's mane. The blazing, insolent white was now dull and dead, like the hollow carcass of a withered, long lost glory. Like the petals of a faded flower, some of the once beautiful hair remained in Naruto's hand when he retrieved it.

He couldn't believe this.

He couldn't believe that these devastated, ruined remains once were Jiraiya.

He couldn't believe that under the crackled, greenish skin had once beaten the most gigantic heart he had ever known.

He couldn't believe that these dark lips would never stretch again in a proud, hearty smile.

He couldn't believe these eyes would never look at him again in that characteristic, fatherly way Naruto cherished so mush.

Everything Jiraiya once was had disappeared brutally. It had just vanished into thin air, in the beauty of a last laugh under the shining sun, in the nonchalant gesture of handing him a popsicle. He was now nothing more than a memory, a whisper that had left the crumbling envelope lying on the cold, hard table.

As his last laugh was reverberating again through Naruto's entire body, like a vicious memory taking pleasure in torturing him by bouncing again and again into the walls of his heart, one particular, excruciatingly real thought tore his mind apart.

Jiraiya-sama was dead.

Dead.

Naruto let out a small whimper and fell on his knees, holding Jiraiya's dead hand to his cheek and letting the salty tears stream slowly over the crackled, decayed skin which felt raspy and hard under his own. For a moment there, nothing else existed in the world but that hand pressed against his cheek, that cold, dead hand which would never ruffle his hair again.

 _Ero-sennin…_

Suddenly, all went dark.

The hospital room faded before a gloomy and moist hall, so vast the walls were lost in darkness. Before the blonde man stood a gigantic, iron gate, locked by a seal.

Behind the gate, Naruto could hear a shallow, beastly growl.

 _It's painful, right?_

Naruto closed his eyes.

Of course, he had returned.

Right from the start, Kyuubi hadn't stopped pestering him. Not a day had gone by without his nagging voice ringing in his head, whispering horrors about Kakashi and Tsunade, and the entire village. Every day he had kept telling Naruto how wrong he had been, and how wrong he still was to be so loyal to that treacherous, greedy village which never hesitated to sacrifice its inhabitants to achieve its goals. He had carefully cultivated Naruto's anger, and the blonde had been so lost and so desperate to deny Jiraiya's death that he had found it easier to let his heart festering on anger. It had kept him busy, trying to find all the reasons why he had the genuine right to hate his friends, and especially Kakashi.

He opened his eyes again to see the blazing curve of a furry tail caressing the golden metal.

 _That sensation that something has been torn apart from you…_

He heard the screeching of an enormous claw against the cold hard floor.

… _that it has just vanished into thin air before you could raise a finger…_

Naruto winced. The aching flames of anger were slowly coming back after they had finally died down thanks to Kakashi's relentless efforts. Along the weeks, Kakashi had indeed succeeded in breaking through his defenses. Little by little, the silver-haired man had climbed the cliff on top of which Naruto had found shelter, isolating himself from the rest of the world. Kyuubi of course had done his maximum to push Naruto into repelling Kakashi,

" _Don't you trust him."_

" _Don't let your guard down."_

" _You hate him remember? He knew about Jiraiya, he knew all along, and he certainly know many things about your past and he keeps lying right into your face. Don't trust him!"_

The words had kept swirling in his mind, but every time Naruto had crossed Kakashi's eyes, he had seen behind the mismatched pupils, and all he could find was love, friendship, and deep, sincere care. As a result, Naruto had progressively shut his mind, until Kyuubi's heinous voice had eventually become silent.

Yet the recovery of Jiraiya's body had cast him back into the pit, and Kyuubi had returned.

"Leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you." Naruto commanded with a broken voice.

He felt completely lost. His heart was aching and he wanted to throw up. He just wanted to curl up on himself and fall asleep in silence so that the nightmare would end.

The growl intensified until it made the ground shake, so much Naruto felt his entire being vibrate with it. Then two enormous, hellish eyes rose far above him, fantastic orbs coming from utter darkness, glaring with ambition and thrill. The Demon Fox was so gigantic Naruto could only see his magnificent, contemptuous head. Kyuubi's beautiful face split into a demonic grin, showing his huge, terrifying teeth.

"I said go away!" Naruto said, clutching his head into his hands.

Kyuubi chuckled, and the sound seemed to wrap around Naruto's heart like an insidious snake.

"I can't go away, you idiot, I live in your soul."

"I can shut that dirty mouth of yours anytime."

"Then please do. Make me shut up."

The giant fox glared contemptuously at Naruto who kept his head squeezed in his hands, sitting on the floor and rocking himself back and forth in despair.

"So? I'm waiting." Kyuubi snarled.

 _I have to make him shut up. I have almost let him use me back in Tsunade's office, and it could have ended badly. I mustn't listen to him._

 _But the pain…_

 _God the pain…_

 _It's opening up again…_

 _That awful ache burning my heart, tearing my entire body apart until I suffocate…_

 _Kyuubi has helped me get away from the pain…_

"That's right, Kyuubi answered to his thoughts, I helped you through the pain and I can help you again."

"I don't want your help! Leave me the Hell alone-ttebayo!"

"To do what? Sit on your ass and whine like a child? When the Hell will you become a man and stand true to your own principles?"

"What are you talking about?!"

"Justice, Naruto. I'm talking about justice."

Naruto couldn't help but laugh bitterly.

"Oh come on really?! Are you seriously talking about justice? You, who have destroyed my village and killed my parents?! How dare you?"

Kyuubi growled and his teeth glittered in the darkness.

"You are nothing but a stupid brat; you can't begin to understand what happened that night. First I was controlled by Uchiwa Madara, but even though I hadn't myself decided to destroy the village, I am now convinced it served them right! And you know that too!"

Naruto leapt on his feet and threatened Kyuubi with his index.

"Shut up! I forbid you to talk about my parents and my home like that!"

"Your parents let you carry a demon in your soul, and instead of helping you through the loss of your entire family to protect their sorry asses, can you remind me how the villagers treated you for years?! Where was that Kakashi you love so much when the villagers were throwing stones at you? Where was Tsunade? Where were all your friends? Oh I forgot, that pink-haired bitch was way too busy running after that arrogant piece of shit you call your best friend."

"We already talked about that…It's my home…I have forgiven them all…"

"Fine! You have forgiven them, and that's already proving your fucking weakness. But let me ask you this question…"

Kyuubi's eyes almost sparkled with malice.

"Are you seriously considering forgiving yourself on top of all that shit?"

Naruto's head snapped up and he looked at the fox incredulously.

"What?!"

"Don't tell me you haven't understood yet." Kyuubi whispered.

They looked at each other for a long, silent minute, then Kyuubi resumed his poisonous talk.

"Don't tell me you haven't understood the reason why you have been refusing to accept Jiraiya's death."

"Don't you say his name." Naruto seethed.

"The main reason you have been running away…"

There was a small silence, and then Kyuubi uttered words that had the effect of a huge blow in Naruto's stomach.

"…is the fact that **you** are the reason he died."

Naruto's eyes opened like giant orbs, and his mouth fell open in utmost shock. For a few minutes, he remained silent, and when he managed to make a sound, his voice sounded hollow and dull.

"What the fuck are you talking about?!"

Kyuubi sighed.

"Your stupidity will never cease to amaze me."

"What do you mean I am the reason Ero-sennin died?! How in Hell could I have known he went there?!"

"Please remind me why you didn't know he was going to Amegakure."

"I was out in an eight-squad mission to retrieve Sasuke!"

"Precisely. Sasuke, huh? I thought Jiraiya had asked you to stop looking for him?"

"W…What?!"

Naruto hated that new feeling that was crawling up his veins like poison, compressing his lungs and making his heart pound faster in his chest, as he suddenly felt like he was finally unearthing a particularly nasty secret.

"Jiraiya asked you to stop looking for Sasuke. You wouldn't listen to him. As a result, you were away from Konoha to look for Sasuke when Jiraiya made his decision to go to Amegakure alone. If you had stopped looking for Sasuke as Jiraiya asked you, you would have been in Konoha that day. You could have stopped him, or gone with him to Amegakure. Conclusion: you chose that backstabbing Uchiwa bastard that has been hating you and dragging you in the mud all your life, and you let Jiraiya die a painful, slow death whereas he was the closest thing you had to an actual family."

Naruto couldn't believe what he was hearing.

He felt as though his head had suddenly filled with cotton, as though his legs had turned into jelly. He fell on his knees, still staring at Kyuubi with an expression of pure horror on his face.

"No…No, this is ridiculous…It's…I…"

Naruto was struggling with words the same way he was struggling against the horrible, awful picture that was unraveling in his mind. He remembered Jiraiya's unusual, deep worry when he had asked him to stop looking for Sasuke. Then the picture changed, and he saw himself and the rest of his team standing under the heavy rain outside Konoha's gates, ready to go look for Sasuke after they had received new information about his whereabouts.

He hadn't even told Jiraiya he was going. He hadn't even told him goodbye.

The picture changed again…

The barely recognizable body, the mutilated skin, the endless number of bruises scattered all over his necrosing skin…

…and the soft smile of a man he loved with all his heart.

No...

Naruto's mind struggled again, trying to cling onto the idea that no matter what, Jiraiya would never have let him come with him, that he would have taken advantage of another mission sending Naruto away to go to Amegakure by himself. That was just ridiculous, an unfortunate chain of events, and he couldn't be blamed for this.

Yet his heart was screaming louder than his brain.

Kyuubi's words had hit their target at its core.

 _I have tried to put everything on Kakashi and Tsunade's backs just because I couldn't face the truth._

 _All these weeks trying to run away from that hole in my chest…_

 _Now I know what's down there…_

 _I have killed Ero-sennin._

Naruto grabbed his hair and let out a tortured sob, as Kyuubi's words sank cruelly in his brain, smashing his nerves and ripping his soul apart.

"Yes! Yes Naruto! You are the one responsible for Jiraiya's death, and yet you have been sitting on your ass for months, whining and hiding, while right from the start you could have done something to redeem yourself." Kyuubi went on, his eyes sparkling with thrill as he felt Naruto was losing his mind. He just had to push him a little further, and he would finally get to the result he had been trying to reach since the beginning.

Naruto's soul would be his.

"There is one way you can redeem yourself, only one, single way. Go to Amegakure and take the lives of the ones who have mutilated Jiraiya."

Kyuubi could feel the fire flooding Naruto's veins. He could feel the incredible fury that was ravaging his heart, the enormous guilt eating his soul away.

 _Just a bit more…_

"What happened to that I-will-never-give-up crap of yours, huh?! What are you waiting for?! Revenge, that is what your heart craves for, then listen to it! Listen to it, and let the power engulf you to bring their doom upon your enemies!"

Naruto crushed his fist on the ground, his body shaking, his other hand clutching his shirt over his heart.

 _Yes…Come to me… Give me your body, give me your heart, give me your soul…_

"Be the man you always wanted to be, the strong man that defends his friends even after death, the man that struggles for justice."

 _Let me devour you, let me take my revenge on the village of Konoha and on the entire mankind._

"Earn Jiraiya's forgiveness by standing up and facing the ones who massacred him while your back was turned!"

 _Let me take my revenge on humans for what they have done to me and my siblings. Let my dreams come true at last, after being locked away in darkness and solitude for endless years. Let me claim justice for my stolen freedom._

That was when Kyuubi, carried away by the suffering, the solitude and the hatred that had been eating his own heart away for hundreds of years, made a mistake.

One, single mistake.

"Let me be in charge, I will be your eyes and your hand, I will avenge Jiraiya."

All his body shaking, Naruto raised his head and glared fiercely at Kyuubi. Ice met fire, and Naruto rose on his feet.

"You are right, Kyuubi. I have to take my revenge. It's the only thing I can do now. But I will do it without your help."

Kyuubi's eyes widened, and for a moment, they lost their hatred, replaced by genuine confusion.

"What?!"

"You said I had to show the world that I stood up for my principles. You said that I would defend my loved ones even after their death. You said that I am the reason Ero-sennin is not here anymore. That's why I have to face his murderers alone. That's why I have to fight them as Uzumaki Naruto. **I** am the one in charge of my actions. Not you."

"Don't be ridiculous! You don't stand a chance against them alone. I won't let you fight alone, that's suicide!" Kyuubi seethed, persuading himself, deep down, that his worry for Naruto's safety was only related to the fact that he would die along with the boy if the latter got beaten.

Naruto raised his hand in the air, and a wooden barrier came down from darkness, pinning the giant fox to the ground as the magnificent beast was snarling and twisting.

"When will you stop underestimating me, Kyuubi?" Naruto whispered, his eyes hard.

"Naruto…! Take that shit off me!"

"No. I won't let you interfere. Goodbye, Kyuubi."

"Naruto! Wait, you bloody idiot!"

He struggled but Naruto had left.

His mind returning to reality, Naruto let the gates of rage fly open.

That was his last chance.

The very last thing he could cling onto.

 _I have to take my revenge._

Suddenly, it was so obvious.

That was what he should have done long before.

Naruto cast his head backwards and let out such a terrifying scream of rage that in the corridor, Kakashi's heart stopped beating.

Sakura, still in his arms, let out a gasp when within a fraction of second, Naruto had burst out of the room, nearly flinging it into Sakura's face. Without looking back, he started walking quickly through the corridor.

"Naruto!" Kakashi and Sakura screamed at the same time, running after him.

The blonde was breathing with difficulty. His eyes were wide open, pushing the people that were standing in his way aside, growling with rage. He could barely see where he was going. He could barely think. All he could see was Jiraiya's battered body.

All he could see was his soft smile.

He had to claim justice.

He had to avenge him.

That was all that mattered to him now.

Sakura grabbed Naruto's hand.

"Naruto, stop!"

The blonde didn't even realize what he was doing. He turned around and crashed his fist into Sakura's face sending her fly backwards. Opening his arms wide, Kakashi caught her in the air and both of them fell down to the ground. Sakura was holding her jaw, wincing in pain, and she raised astonished eyes to his long time friend.

" _Naruto!"_ Kakashi bellowed, holding Sakura's face protectively to his chest with a hand tangling in her hair pressing her cheek against his heart.

Everyone in the corridor was frozen. No one dared to move.

Naruto was casting a terrifying, swirling aura, his breath was short, his eyes were wild and the veins of his temple and neck were prominent.

"I'm leaving for Amegakure, alone. And I don't give the slightest shit about your fucking opinion. So get off my back or I'll kill you. All of you." He breathed out, his voice harsh and threatening.

Kakashi's heart fell to his toes.

 _Oh boy. It_ _'s_ _happening._

Naruto turned towards the wall. With a beastly scream and extraordinary strength, he destroyed it with a punch. The force of the blow was such that a part of the ceiling fell down, sending the nurses scattering and screaming. Kakashi wrapped his arms tightly around Sakura's head and put his chin on her hair, encasing her face into his chest to protect her from the rumble. Someone screamed something near them, and a wooden shield appeared over their heads. Sakura shot her head out of Kakashi's embrace and gasped.

"Yamato-taichou?!"

"Hai. Kakashi senpai asked me to monitor Naruto from afar just in case the shock of seeing Jiraiya's body was too strong and made him turn into Kyuubi."

"Well I think it is happening. We have to follow him!" Sakura exclaimed, struggling in Kakashi's arms and leaping on her feet. Even with her mouth bleeding, she flung herself to Naruto's pursuit. She was going to jump through the hole in the wall when Kakashi caught her again and encircled her chest with his arms, pulling her back to his torso.

"Sakura, wait!"

" LET GO OF ME !" Sakura shrieked fiercely.

"No! Sakura-chan, listen to me, Kakashi urged in her ear. Tenzou and I will go after him. I need you to go get Sai, Shikamaru and the others. Things are going to get messy."

He let go of her and turned towards Yamato, his brows frowned and creating a deep crease on his forehead.

"Tenzou." He said with authority.

"Hai, Senpai."

Within a fraction of second, the two men had disappeared into thin air, launching themselves behind Naruto.

Naruto was running so fast he could barely feel the ground under his feet. His heart was screaming for blood and violence, and all he could think of were the cries of pain he was going to rip out from the throats of the bastards that had killed his precious Jiraiya. As he was leaping from a branch to another, he could feel Kyuubi struggling to get loose, but he shut him further away.

 _This is_ _ **my**_ _fight._

 _This is_ _ **my**_ _revenge._

 _I am Uzumaki Naruto, and I will make it up to you, Ero-sennin, even if I have to die trying._

Amegakure was a long way ahead, but he didn't care. He could barely think. He was almost drooling with rage, and all his body was shaking.

His heart was filled with so much hatred he could kill anyone on his path.

He hated everyone.

Everyone.

Friends or foes.

And most of all, he hated himself.

If he hadn't left the village to search for Sasuke, he could have stopped Ero-sennin, he could have convinced him to go with him. Jiraiya would have never accepted, but Naruto was so blinded by his anger that he was convinced he could have changed his fate.

 _I haven't been there for you, and I will never forgive myself._

As he was jumping on a branch, Naruto let out another scream of rage and punched the tree with violence, diving his hand right through the wood.

 _I'm going to torture you bastards._

 _I'm going to spill your blood and drink it on Ero-sennin's tomb._

 _The last thing you will hear will be Uzumaki Naruto's laugh as you die slowly and painfully while he watches._

 _Don't try to flee or hide from me._

 _I will never, ever give up, and I will hunt you down to the world's end._

"Naruto!" A familiar voice shouted behind him.

Naruto turned around swiftly.

 _Damn. Kakashi-sensei. Yamato-taichou…I should have known._

He crossed his hands.

"Kage bunshin no jutsu!"

Two clones appeared and threw themselves towards Kakashi and Yamato while the real Naruto kept running forward.

The first one threw five shurikens at Kakashi who pulled out his knife and repelled them all swiftly. As Naruto's clone was diving on him with a scream, Kakashi kicked the tree behind him so he could jump in the air. He swirled on himself and managed to pull his wires out, encircling Naruto's clone. He wrapped his arms around him from behind, then plummeted towards the ground while turning on himself at increasing speed. They both crashed in the ground, and Naruto's clone disappeared.

"Tenzou! Don't let yourself be distracted by the clone!" He shouted, wiping his forehead.

"Hai…Senpai!" Yamato answered from up the trees, fighting a particularly aggressive clone. He feigned to be cornered against a trunk, and when Naruto crashed his fist on his face, Yamato turned into a wooden clone, and the real one appeared behind Naruto. He turned his hand into a wooden spear and ran it right through the blonde clone's heart.

Kakashi landed next to him and both of them looked at each other.

"Damn, it feels so weird to…you know…it's Naruto, I mean…" Yamato said.

Kakashi laid his hand on the brown-haired man's shoulder.

"Ma, Tenzou, this was a clone, and we will get Naruto home. I promise you. Now come on, or we'll lose him."

"Stop calling me Tenzou, Senpai, my name is Yamato now!"

"All right all right…Come on Tenzou!"

He leapt into the air and Yamato rolled his eyes before following him.

"Mattaku, that man will never change…" he muttered.

The pursuit lasted almost an hour. Each time they were getting closer to the blonde-haired boy, the latter would send his clones to repel the two men. Even though Kakashi and Yamato tried not to fight them to keep on Naruto's trail, they had no choice, as the clones were extremely aggressive and more and more dangerous. Silently, Kakashi made up a plan. He made several clones of himself to confuse Naruto, and while the blonde's clones were fighting his own, he disappeared through the ground.

The real Naruto ended up in a large clearing, and he threw himself forward. He had almost made it halfway through the clearing when a voice roared.

" **Doton, Doryuu Heki!"**

Naruto gasped as an immense mud wall rose from the ground, blocking Naruto's path, knocking the young man down to the ground as the earth seemed to be parting in half. He growled and started crossing his hands to conjure his clones in order to help him climb the wall when the strong, familiar voice rose again.

" _ **Naaaruto!**_ _"_ the voice bellowed.

Something in that voice made him turn around slowly, ready to face its owner.

Hatake Kakashi.

The Copy-Ninja was standing behind him, his eyes fierce, all his body standing firmly in the ground, tall and elegant. His silver hair was flying in the slight wind, and his fists were clenched.

"I cannot let you go there, Naruto."

"Oh? You mean you are going to try and stop me, _Kakashi_?" Naruto seethed, spitting his name like an insult.

"I won't try. I will."

"I will avenge Ero-sennin, and I won't let you stick your fucking nose in my business!"

Kakashi heard Yamato arrive behind him, but he held his hand in his back to stop him from restraining Naruto too soon. First, he wanted to talk to him, and he hated the idea of resorting to violence with his precious Naruto.

Kakashi could feel Naruto's chakra boiling like magma, and he had the unpleasant feeling of being back in that dream he had many nights before.

That was actually happening: Naruto was being eaten from the inside. He was being manipulated by Kyuubi and he was going to fall into his hands.

 _Wait a minute…_

Kakashi frowned.

Something was weird. Naruto's chakra was extremely agitated, but he could also feel that the blonde was blocking something, as though he was pushing it down inside himself.

Not understanding what was going on, Kakashi thought he had to tread extremely carefully.

"Please wait…" He said, raising his hand in a sign of peace.

"For what? For you to lecture me again ? For you to tell me that I'm just screwing everything up again? That I'm just a fucking idiot doing rubbish?" Naruto seethed, his eyes glaring flames.

The anger kept rising.

"No, Naruto, I swear. I...I am just worried about you. I care about you, very much. You know that don't you?" He asked with his most tender, caring voice, still coming forward slowly as though he was trying to tame a particularly fierce animal.

"Then if you care so much about me, let me go beat the hell out of these bastards. If you care so much about me, let me claim justice by breaking every fucking bone in those who have murdered my shishou." Naruto yelled, his eyes welling up with tears of rage.

Kakashi sighed and kneeled. Behind him, his hand was still ordering Yamato to wait.

"I know how you feel, believe me, I know. But revenge will get you nowhere. When you go there and kill them then what? Huh? Well I'll tell you what."

He took a breath. God, it was just like that day on the hospital roof all over again. That day he had tried to explain Sasuke how much revenge was a dangerous illusion of hope. That day he had tried to save Sasuke, but he hadn't tried hard enough.

Today he had to save Naruto. He just had too. For starters, he had promised Sakura...and above all, he could never live with himself if something happened to him.

"The fate of those who seek revenge is grim. It's tragic, You will end up suffering and hurting yourself even more. Even if you do succeed in getting revenge, the only thing that remains is emptiness. It will break you, Naruto-kun."

"I don't care. I just can't live with the idea that I have done nothing to avenge his death and his suffering."

"What if they kill you? Do you think J...do you think he would have wanted that?"

Kakashi bit his lip. Hell, he had almost pronounced the name.

"I am Uzumaki Naruto. I will beat the crap out of their asses and feed them to the fish!"

"Naruto, you have seen what they were capable of. You have seen what they did to one of the legendary sannins. You are strong, there's no doubt about that, and I'm prouder of you than you will ever know, but this is crazy and you know it. This is suicide. And I will not let you run to your death."

"Shut up... **Shut the hell up!** " Naruto shouted, grabbing his head as though it was going to explode.

Kakashi opened his mouth to answer, but then he realized something.

Naruto was not talking to him.

He frowned and carefully made a step forward. Behind him, Yamato was still waiting for his signal, yet Kakashi didn't make it.

"Naruto, what's happening to you?!"

The blonde was staggering backwards. He seemed to be mumbling to himself. He looked completely out of his mind.

"No…I said…Back off! I…I won't let you get out…They are mine…I will fight as Uzumaki Naruto…They are mine… **mine** … _MINE!_ "

Kakashi gasped as he suddenly understood what was going on.

 _Oh God, he is fighting Kyuubi._

Naruto roared and lunged on Kakashi, but before he could reach him, large branches sprung out from the ground and curled around him like wooden snakes, immobilizing him a few inches from his target. The blonde seethed and struggled with ferocity, but he could not free himself. Kakashi stepped forward and grabbed Naruto's shoulders.

"Naruto, it's over now. Let me help you through this. I swear I will help you, you hear me?"

Naruto raised his eyes towards him and shouted:

"You cannot help me! Don't you understand? _You cannot help me!_ "

"Look, I know you are lost, scared and angry. Let's just talk this over, please."

Naruto had a contemptuous laugh that sounded extremely weird coming from him.

"Oh yes right, let's talk. It's always about talking with you, right sensei? Talking again, and again, words, always fucking words! I'm fed up with words, Kakashi! I want action! I demand justice!"

"You cannot obtain justice that way, Naruto! You are just going to throw yourself in the Akatsuki's arms and get yourself killed, is that what you call justice?!"

"There you are underestimating me again! Why the Hell does everyone keep underestimating me?! When the Hell will you stop seeing me as a child? When the Hell will you start considering me as your equal Kakashi?"

His eyes welled up with tears of anger and hurt, and he had a soft gasp.

"When the Hell will I have some damn worth in your eyes?" he asked.

His nails were digging in the wood, and all his body was shaking. Kakashi's heart tightened. His hands flew up and took Naruto's face between them.

"Why the Hell do you think I'm trying to save you right now, Naruto? Why do you think I have been watching over you every freaking day for all these months? Because you _**are**_ precious to me, you damn stubborn ass! I do consider you as my equal, but I am also older than you, and it is my duty to protect you. You were once my student, and you became my friend, then my family. I believe in you Naruto, from the bottom of my heart, I have always believed in you. But I _**know**_ that you are _**not**_ experienced enough to fight the Akatsuki all by yourself! No one can fight them alone, not even me. We need to work together, Naruto, remember? Teamwork! That is the first freaking lesson I have ever given you! We have to stick together, and I promise you we will eventually beat the crap out of these monsters. You hear me? I promise you, Naruto-kun."

Naruto kept looking at him, his eyes brimming with tears. Kakashi maintained his face between his hands and he smoothed Naruto's hair gently.

"Your heart is misleading you, Naruto-kun…I know it hurts, but you are chasing an illusion, Kakashi went on with a softer voice. Trust me, I know. I know you're in horrible pain. I know you're angry. But you are going the wrong way. You will find nothing there other than death and destruction."

Naruto lowered his head, and for a moment, Kakashi's heart filled with hope. Had he found the right words? Would he succeed in stopping Naruto from running right to his death?

"Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me, Naruto-kun? Have I?" he asked softly, as he had done in his dream.

He soon got the answer…And it was not what he expected.

Naruto raised his eyes again to Kakashi, and the silver-haired man's heart skipped a beat when he saw that they were slowly darkening, in a way he had never seen.

"You are all trying to manipulate me…That damn demon fox is trying to break through my defenses in order to steal my body, and you are trying to stop me from doing what I should have done months ago. It is you, all of you who don't trust me! You have always underestimated me, all of you, at all times!"

His eyes were still watery, yet the tears wouldn't fall. Instead, his pupils were fading out, the magnificient, shiny blue turning into a bloody island surrounded by an ocean of darkness.

"Naruto, what's happening to you?!" Kakashi asked, horrified, as he could feel Naruto's chakra turning into an immense ball of dark power. He didn't understand where that malevolence was coming from, as Naruto had been blocking Kyuubi's way out.

"You think I am not strong enough to beat the Akatsuki, right sensei? Well Kyuubi agrees with you. Then I will show you both that I am strong enough. I will show you that I am worthy to seek justice for Ero-sennin. And to prove how wrong you have been about me for all these years, I will fight you, Hatake Kakashi, as Uzumaki Naruto. I won't let Kyuubi interfere. You and Yamato taichou are mine."

"Why are you doing this?! This is complete nonsense! What are you trying to achieve?"

At this question, the last remnants of the dying azure cast a last look at Kakashi, a look that transpierced the silver-haired man with the strength of its impossible grief.

"My…fault…"

Before Kakashi could utter a word, Naruto threw his head backwards and let out a bloodcurling scream, his face contorting as though he was in incredible pain.

"Naruto!" Kakashi and Yamato yelled.

A huge blast of chakra exploded from Naruto's body and sent both the men fly backwards. They fell hard on the ground and protected their heads as the wooden branches restraining Naruto had been propelled in the air after them. Kakashi coughed in the thick could of dust created by the chakra burst, and he helped Yamato up. Instinctively, he put himself in front of the man to protect him, and stared through the dust in Naruto's direction.

"Naruto?" he called.

No answer.

Kakashi's heart was beating fast in his chest.

He couldn't feel Naruto anymore.

"Oh Hell, no! Naruto!" he cried out.

He initiated a step forward but stopped almost immediately.

His eyes widened, and his heart froze in his chest.

 _That chakra._

All his hair straightened on his skin.

When he exchanged a horrified glance with Yamato, he understood the man had felt it too.

"That's not Kyuubi, Senpai…", Yamato whispered.

The chakra they were feeling was not only incredibly dark.

It was also literally _screaming_.

It was something Kakashi had never felt before, and that he would never be able to explain properly. It was not physical. Kakashi could not hear it with his ears, but it pierced his heart from end to end. It was a horrible, mixed feeling of anger, despair and loneliness vibrating in that whirling chakra, like a vortex tearing through reality and exhaling the rotten smell of Hell.

Kakashi anchored his feet in the ground and lowered his head slightly, readying himself to face the creature that was going to get out of that fog.

Soon, something appeared through the dust.

Two red, shining orbs.

"Tenzou. Stay behind me." Kakashi whispered, reaching out a hand in his back to keep Yamato there.

Naruto's silhouette materialized slowly as the boy was walking forward through the cloud, like a demon coming out of a sandstorm.

Finally, the boy's face appeared, and both Kakashi and Yamato had a slight gasp.

He was unrecognizable.

His face was twisted in a wicked, malevolent grin, and his nose was crinkled in a feral growl.

Yet his eyes were the worst.

They were nothing more than dark pools in which swam a blood-red pupil that held no other expression than pure hate.

"Naruto, what happened to you?" Kakashi let out in a dismayed voice.

"Ahh…Hatake…Nice to meet you at last…"Naruto answered in a low, growling voice.

Kakashi's heart filled with ice as a very disturbing thought rang in his mind.

 _That thing is_ _ **not**_ _Naruto._

"Who the Hell are you?"

The dark-eyed creature took a time to answer. He kept staring at them with his lips slightly bared, showing his teeth.

"I am the anger. I am the pain. I am the lonleliness. I am the one that has been hiding deep down through the stones and contempt. I am the one crawling in darkness through the mocking and the hatred. I am the real Uzumaki Naruto." He finally answered.

Kakashi felt like his heart had fallen to his toes.

Suddenly, he understood what had happened.

Naruto had been stopping Kyuubi from getting out, but at the same time, his emotions had been too strong to control. His anger had reached too deep within himself, and his chakra had filled with all the long repelled emotions, like poison piercing through his containment and flooding the entire system.

He had just given a voice and a body to his dark, evil self.

Yami Naruto.

"Masaka…" he breathed out.

He had a step backwards, horrified. He couldn't feel Naruto's sunny chakra anymore within that howling, incredibly macabre energy. All he could feel was pure evil, and an inconceivable strength.

The dark Naruto threw his head backwards and laughed.

"Oh, realizing at last that your little idiot was in fact extremely powerful, are we Kakashi? Is that fear I feel in you?"

Kakashi pulled himself together and held his head high.

"I'm not afraid of you."

"Oh? It does sound most interesting…But enough chit-chat now."

He took a slow step forward with a carnivorous smile on his face.

"I have been waiting for so long…"

He took another step.

"That fool just wanted to fight you both without the demon fox's help… And it served me right…"

He kept walking towards them, slowly, like a panther approaching its prey, and Kakashi had a little step backwards. He spread his arms slightly to protect Yamato.

"He just couldn't hold his emotions in and repel Kyuubi at the same time…He freed me without even knowing I existed."

He stopped.

"I'm sorry but the rules have just changed…"

A demonic smile distorted his features.

"This will be a death fight. I will not leave either of you alive."

Kakashi's eyes widened at this declaration, but then it all happened too fast.

Yami Naruto conjured a clone, and both of them lept on Kakashi and Yamato like murderous panthers, effectively separating the two men. Kakashi coiled back with a gracious backflip. Yet Yami Naruto didn't give him the time to pull himself together. Dragging two kunais from his belt, he screamed rageously and dove on Kakashi, his teeth bore and his eyes fierce. Kakashi blocked the kunais with his forearms.

"Nar…"

He didn't have the time to pronounce his friend's name, for the blonde had aimed a particularly vicious kick right into his stomach. Kakashi gasped and bent in half while Yami Naruto slammed his fist into his jaw, sending him flying backwards. The silver-haired man crashed into the dirt, trying to recover his breath, clutching his stomach, his jaw bleeding. The dark Naruto lept on him, his kunai raised.

" **Die!** " he screamed, raising his arm high in the air.

Yet before he could stab Kakashi, the man disappeared in a poof, replaced by a wooden trunk, and Yami Naruto growled as he felt two powerful arms coil under his armpits and around his shoulders, blocking his upper body.

"Naruto, listen to me. I know you're still in there."

"There's something you might have not understood, Kakashi. I _**am**_ Naruto now."

Yami Naruto jerked his head backwards violently and hit Kakashi's nose with the back of his head. Kakashi's arms faltered for only a second, but it was enough for Naruto to free himself from his embrace. He joined his hands.

"Kage bunshin no jutsu!"

Five Yami Narutos appeared, smirking and seething, and they surrounded Kakashi before jumping on him with feral roars. Kakashi blocked and repelled the blows coming from everywhere, jumping in the air, crouching to the ground, avoiding the hits with roulades and stopping them with expert parades. He whirled on himself to give impulse to his leg which he crashed into one of the clones' head, making the latter disappear in a poof of smoke. He felt another blow coming from behind, and he blocked another clone's elbow with one hand while he crashed his foot into another's stomach. Yet Yami Naruto kept spawning clones, again and again, and Kakashi kept repelling them the best he could…

…and it made Yami Naruto steadily angrier.

"Why aren't you fighting me seriously? Why aren't you using your Sharingan? You think I'm not serious enough? You think I'm not worthy of the famous Copy-Ninja's thousand techniques?" he seethed while sweeping his leg in the air, aiming at Kakashi's head but missing his target as the silver-haired man crouched at the last moment.

" _ **Stop insulting me, Kakashi! Fight me seriously! RASENGAN!**_ " Yami Naruto roared.

The air started spinning in his hand in a high-pitched howling, but the usually blue orb was now dark and red. Kakashi gasped but didn't wait to be touched by that tremendous amount of dark power.

"Doton, Shinjû zanshu no jutsu!" Kakashi yelled.

He disappeared underground just in time, before Yami Naruto's dark rasengan hit the spot where he was standing a few seconds before, smashing the ground and making the earth shake.

Hidden underground, Kakashi sighed and wiped his forehead.

"Damn it…Damn it…Damn it!" he growled, hitting the damp earth surrounding him.

He was stuck. This was one of the worst scenarios that could happen. It was even worse than fighting Kyuubi. If the demon fox's mantle had appeared, Yamato would have been able to restrain it by force if he had acted quickly. Whereas here, Naruto had himself blocked Kyuubi's chakra. As a result, his swirling, devastating emotions had to find another channel to get out, and that was what had brought Yami Naruto to life. Yet Yami Naruto's chakra, although malevolent and demonic, remained Naruto's, and Yamato didn't have the power to restrain his chakra. Kakashi could only guess that Naruto's true self had recessed back somewhere within his mind, but he wasn't sure. He wasn't even sure he could return, but he was fighting hard not to think about that scenario.

That was unconveivable.

He would _**not**_ lose Naruto. And because he wouldn't lose Naruto, he _**couldn't**_ fight him with full power. He wouldn't use his Raikiri against him, yet of course Yami Naruto had noticed that Kakashi wasn't fighting to his full extent, and it kept making him angrier and more powerful.

It was really a vicious circle.

Kakashi had a limited amount of chakra, contrary to Naruto… His moves were limited, especially if he didn't intend to kill his opponent. He had to act quickly before his chakra got completely depleted. Naruto was stronger, so Kakashi had to be smarter…

He closed his eyes for a moment and let his mind drift away, seeking for an answer. He knew he didn't have much time. He could feel Yami Naruto above the ground, searching for him, and he could also hear Yamato fighting what sounded like half a dozen of clones.

 _Think. Come on, think, damn it._

"SHAAAAAAAAAAANNAAAROOOOOOOOOOO!"

Before Kakashi had time to make up a plan, the ground exploded around him and he found himself being cast up into the air. He fell on his bottom and coughed and spit the earth that had entered his mouth. He blinked and realized he was back above the ground, sprawled on his back among the rumble of a devastated earth whose creaks and enormous crevices were spreading through the entire clearing like an immense spider web. He looked around, temporarily confused, looking for the owner of that very familiar voice.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!"

Within a fraction of second, Sakura rushed to his side and crouched down, running her hands up and down Kakashi's body.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt? God what the Hell is happening here?! There's like a hundred of Naruto's clones! What the Hell is that dark chakra I'm feeling? I'm not seeing Kyuubi's mantle, what the Hell is happening?! How are we going to…"

Kakashi took Sakura's face in his hands.

"Sakura, Sakura! No more questions, I want you to listen carefully…"

He didn't have time to utter another word.

" _ **Fûton! Rasenshuriken!**_ "

"SAKURA! WATCH OUT!" Kakashi shouted.

He shoved her face in his chest and wrapped his arms around her head before throwing himself aside to the ground. Naruto's attack missed him of just a few feet, but the ground exploded again under the force of the impact, thrusting both Kakashi and Sakura in the air. They were sent right down into one of the craters Sakura's blow had created, Kakashi holding the young woman into his chest as tight as he could to protect her in their fall. He fell hard on his back and winced in pain as a rock dug in his skin, cutting off his air. Yet he ignored the pain and released Sakura from his embrace.

"Are you all right, Sakura-chan?!" he asked, concerned, trying to catch his breath.

"Yes, yes I think so, what about you?!"

"I'm fine, don't worry about me. Now listen…"

"My, my, when will you ever stop your endless speeches and actually start _**fighting?**_ " Naruto's voice rose just a few feet from them.

The dust cloud created by Naruto's attack slowly faded out, and Yami Naruto stepped out of the fog, his eyes shining, his lips twisted in a wicked, insane grin. At the sight of his eyes, Sakura gasped and grabbed Kakashi's sleeve.

"Oh my God what the hell…!"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you, Kakashi said, shifting to stand between Naruto and Sakura, his nose crinkled in a growl, don't you dare touch her."

"Ohh, hello Sakura, I'm glad that you joined the party, this _**is**_ getting more and more interesting!"

"Kakashi, what the Hell is happening?!" Sakura asked, trying to get back in front of Kakashi, but failing as the silver-haired man kept her behind him.

"Revenge, princess. Revenge. After all these years, I'm finally able to beat the crap out of your self-centered, superficial ass!" Yami Naruto sniggered.

"W…What?!"

"Oh come on, don't play innocent with me, Yami Naruto growled, of all people you certainly are one of those who hurt the former Naruto the most in his life. He loved you with all his heart, he did everything for you, he humiliated himself to please you, and what did he get in return?"

"Na…Naruto…" Sakura stuttered, completely stunned.

" _ **NOTHING**_ _!_ Naruto yelled, making the young woman start behind Kakashi, you gave him nothing but contempt and bruises. How many years have you been insulting, mocking, and bullying him? How many years have you been ignoring his efforts to become your friend if not your boyfriend?! How many years have you been dangling your fucking "love" for the "ohmygodsupercool" _Sasuke-kun_ under his nose, while he was struggling just to get a little bit of your attention?!"

"Naruto, I don't understand…I'm sorry…You are my best friend…" Sakura stuttered, completely confused as to why Naruto was speaking of himself using the third person.

" **SHUT UP**! **Don't you dare calling me your best friend. I have no friends anymore. I will kill each and everyone of you and enjoy your painful death."**

He roared and leapt forward, and Kakashi just had time to throw Sakura aside before Naruto's fist connected with his collarbone. There was a disgusting, crunching sound and a sharp, burning pain exploded in Kakashi's chest, making him yelp in pain. The man staggered backwards but managed to stop Naruto's foot coming right at his head. Both of them exchanged a series of blows.

" _ **Stop it! Naruto, leave him alone !**_ " Sakura shrieked.

She leapt into the air and landed right on Naruto's back. They both rolled on the ground, and Sakura struggled fiercely until she found herself straddling Naruto, pushing his face to the ground and pulling his arms backwards to block them in his back. Yami Naruto let out a bark of laughter and disappeared in a poof.

Sakura remained completely still, frozen in shock, wondering what had just happened. Kakashi came to crouch beside her and took her face in his hands.

"Sakura, look at me. This is not exactly the Naruto we know, okay?"

Seeing Sakura's lost eyes fill with tears, Kakashi pulled her in his arms and crushed her face in his shoulder, wincing in pain because of his collarbone.

"Ma, come here, he said, listen to me. It's okay, everything's going to be okay…"

 _No lies, Hatake_ ¸ a nagging voice immediately rang in his head.

"Err…All right, actually it isn't, the situation is way worse than I had imagined and we're in a deep pool of shit right now but we'll figure it out as we always do, ne? " He asked in a high, mellifluous voice.

He kept holding her to him, and when he felt her nod in his shoulder, he let go of her. Sakura seemed to recover her spirits:

"Let me have a look at your collarbone, sensei, I think it's broken." She whispered before pulling her hands next to Kakashi's shoulder releasing a warm, green chakra. While she was working, Kakashi started explaining the situation.

"That man you've just seen is like Naruto's evil twin. Naruto has been stopping Kyuubi from getting out all by himself, but because Naruto's mind and heart are a mess, because he has been dealing with so many emotions he has been keeping for himself for three months, these emotions have eventually found a way to express themselves. They have materialized in the shape of that dark-eyed Naruto. Now…The tricky part is that we have to find a way to stop him without killing him."

Sakura's eyes shot up.

"Do you have a plan?"

Kakashi scratched the back of his head.

"Err…No not really, I must admit that I hadn't expected that kind of situation at all. I think the best move right now is to buy me enough time to think."

"What do you need?"

"Tell me who's up there", Kakashi ordered, jerking his head towards the surface of the crater towards the battlefield.

"I could only bring Sai, Shikamaru, Ino, Chouj, Tenten and Kiba, sensei, the others were at the hospital or on mission."

"All right we'll manage. Listen here: Naruto…errr…Yami Naruto keeps spawning shadow clones, and as a result, I can't tell where the real one is. I need you guys to take out as many clones as you can, as fast as you can, but of course you will have to restrain your blows in case you hit the real one. This is more a fight to restrain Yami Naruto rather than kill him. But remember: he _**will**_ try to kill you. Don't hesitate creating clones yourselves to keep him busy. Yami Naruto has got as much chakra as Naruto, but it's not infinite. I want to make sure his chakra is enough depleted so he can focus on fighting me. And that's when, of course, I will come up with a brilliant idea to stop him. Got it?"

" _ **Naruto! What the heck is wrong with you?!"**_

Shikamaru's shout made them both turn their heads upwards.

"Okay, I think your collarbone is fixed." Sakura said, rising on her feet.

"Good job, Sakura. Now let's go. Try to find a way to explain the situation to the others but without Yami Naruto hearing, all right?"

"Wakatta, sensei."

Kakashi laid his hand on Sakura's shoulder and squeezed it.

"It's almost over. Tonight, we're going home with the real Naruto, or we are not going home at all."

Sakura nodded solemnly.

"Hai, sensei."

On these words, they leapt out of the hole and launched themselves back into the fight. Sakura let out a fierce cry of war, and she charged right into the battlefield.

The calm, peaceful clearing had indeed turned into an agitated pool of figures fighting each other, throwing ninjutsus, kunais and shurikens. Yami Naruto was getting more and more greedy, and he kept spawning shadow clones, attacking each one of his friends with at least four clones, and pummeling them down with both taijutsu and ninjutsu.

Sakura dove forward, and she was immediately assailed by three clones. She ducked and tripped one of them with a violent swap of her leg, before spinning on her self and using the second one as a shield while the third was crashing his fist on her. When the second clone disappeared, Sakura roared and sent a majestic punch into the third's stomach, making it vanish as well. Then without waiting any longer, she darted towards Sai.

"Sai! Draw a bird and get me up in the air, now!" she shouted, punching one of the clones in the head.

"Hai! **Ninpo: chôjû giga!** "

A magnificient bird sprung out of Sai's scroll and both Sai and Sakura jumped on its back. Sakura searched the clearing for long, blonde hair. When she found Ino, she ordered:

"Sai, fly to the ground fast so I can catch Ino."

The young man obeyed and dived on the blonde girl. Sakura leaned aside, casting her arm out, and she grabbed onto her friend who gasped in surprise. Once they were back in the sky, Ino turned towards Sakura, surprised.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"Shut up and listen, I just talked with Kakashi sensei…"

Sakura explained them what Kakashi had told her, and she asked Ino to use her mental powers to transmit the messages to all the others without Yami Naruto knowing. Once it was done, the three friends dove back to the battlefield and jumped down, throwing themselves back in the fight. Tenten was swirling her chained maces in the air next to Ino who was engaged in close combat. Chouji had doubled his size and was rolling on himself, crushing the clones standing on his path, while Shikamaru was attacking the remaining ones with his long, sharp shadows. Kiba and Akamaru were fighting side by side, surrounded by nine clones, growling and seething as they were pushed backwards against a corner of the devastated terrain. The nine clones quickly gathered to form three use rasengan orbs, and they were rising their hands in the air when Yamato suddenly sprung out of the ground and tackled the clones down with multiple wooden arms.

As for Kakashi, he was trying hard not to use his Sharingan too much, but fighting Yami Naruto without it and without trying to kill him proved to be particularly tricky. On top of that, the dark-eyed blonde was pushing him to use more and more powerful techniques as he was growing steadily more impatient and infuriated by the fact that Kakashi was obviously trying to minor the damages of his own attacks. As a result, the two men were exchanging increasingly powerful jutsus, and Kakashi was often taken aback by the techniques Yami Naruto would use, as he had never seen Naruto use them in the past. It made him even more unpredictable, and Kakashi started to think the situation was getting worse every minute.

As the silver-haired jounin was repelling Naruto's attacks the best he could, his mind was racing. As he used to do, he started isolating the problems to try and find the most suitable solution. The problem was that he had to stop Naruto from killing everyone but without killing him.

 _Put him to sleep._

" **Die! RASENGAN!** " Yami Naruto yelled while aiming the spinning orb right at Kakashi's head. The latter crashed his fist into Yami Naruto's upper arm and succeeded in deflecting its course, and the orb went to tear right through a tree which fell down, making a swarm of birds rise in the sky.

While fighting the boy, Kakashi kept thinking. He remembered that famous morning where he had woken up with Naruto nestled in his chest, and how he had saved the entire village's ass by hypnotizing him.

 _Mmmh…I'm afraid that won't be enough. He is going to resist, and if I fail once, he will know what I'm trying to do and he will avoid looking at me in the eye._

Yami Naruto cast his leg in the air and Kakashi blocked it with his forearms before aiming a kick at his flank.

 _Mmh that means only one thing…I'll have to use the Mangekyô._

Kakashi winced. Using the Mangekyô Sharingan was very risky, and he had to use it with full reserves of chakra or he could die.

 _All right let's say that I use the Mangekyô…What do I do? Just put him to sleep? Ask him gently to stop?_

Yami Naruto spawned three clones that charged him.

 _No, no, that's not enough…_

He put his hands on the ground and spinned on himself with such speed he turned into a human tornade, wiping out the three clones that were coming at him. When he landed, his eyes shot open.

 _I have to confront Yami Naruto's feelings._

It seemed obvious now. Kakashi had to use the mangekyô in order to trap Yami Naruto into an alternative world where Kakashi would have a complete control on him, and where he could confront him emotionally. Now that he thought about it, Kakashi fully understood the sense of that dream he had many weeks ago. He had to prevent Naruto from being swallowed by the orb, but the orb was not Kyuubi.

It was Naruto's dark inner self.

This was the last step of the journey to Naruto's heart. Kakashi couldn't reach it with words now, because Naruto had shut himself way too dep. In that case, the only thing left to do was to reach it mentally.

"That's it! You don't want to fight me seriously? All right then, let's see what you can do with that! _**Tajuu, Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!**_ " The dark Naruto seethed.

A large number of clones appeared and encircled Kakashi who felt a bead of sweat slide along his temple.

 _Oh dear._

As he couldn't humanely avoid the hundreds of blows that Yami Naruto's clones were throwing at him at the same time, Kakashi made extremely rapid signs with his hands and shouted:

"Raiton, Kage bunshin no jutsu!"

Four copies of himself appeared around him. They were sourrounded by lightning, creating a true barrier of light, like blazing archangels coming from the heavens. Under the real Kakashi's orders, they charged the Yami Narutos with incredible speed. They fought fiercely in a clash of thunder and kunais, the Yami Narutos disappearing in poofs of smoke, the lightning Kakashis vanishing and creating powerful, electrical blasts that wiped the last Yami Narutos out. As both of the men had lost all their clones, Kakashi prepared himself, expecting Yami Naruto to summon more shadow clones. Yet the man surprised him again.

"Fuuton, Reppushou!"

The air screamed as an enormous ball of wind appeared in front of Yami Naruto's anger-distorted face before darting right towards Kakashi who didn't lose a second.

"Doton! Doryuu Heki!"

The immense mudwall sprung out once again from the ground and came to stand before Kakashi. The giant windball hit the wall with full force, ripping out some parts of hard mud that crumbled and fell on Kakashi who threw himself on the ground and protected his head with his arms. When the wall stabilized itself, he pushed the ground with his hands and stood up.

"Raiton, Kaminari no Ookami !"

From the silver-haired man's extended hand sprung out a magnificient, blazing wolf crackling with blinding bolts. Just before the animal threw himself on the wall, Kakashi used the underground hiding jutsu to protect himself as the wall blew up in a fantastic explosion. When he returned to the surface, Yami Naruto had been cast to the ground by the destruction of the wall. A rock had apparently hit him pretty hard on the face, as his left cheek had a trail of blood, making Kakashi's heart clench.

 _Focus, damn it._

He had to keep telling himself that to avoid making mistakes. Yami Naruto was particularly aggressive, and he was absolutely determined to kill Kakashi. Even though the man was Hatake Kakashi, the Copy Ninja of Konoha, Yami Naruto had a tremendous amount of chakra and Kakashi was actually starting to have trouble recovering his breath.

Taking advantage of the fact that Yami Naruto was apparently having trouble recovering from the explosion, Kakashi darted forward and dispatched his wires to immobilize him and put his plan into execution. Unfortunately, the dark Naruto's reserves of chakra were far from being empty, and before Kakashi had time to tackle him on the ground and force him to look into his Sharingan, the young man had backflipped and landed on his feet with a grim smirk twisting his face.

"Not bad. But what do you say about this, _sensei_?"

He crossed his hands and made several signs.

"Fuuton, Kaze no Yaiba!"

A sword of wind appeared in Naruto's hand and the young man darted towards Kakashi with a feral scream. Kakashi took several steps backwards and quickly made signs as Naruto swung the huge sword over his head and prepared to crash it on the jounin.

"Katon, Taiyou no Kenbu!" the silver-haired man shouted.

His arms burst into flames as they took the shape of two curved, fiery sabres which he raised above his head to parry the windsword. The impact was powerful and Kakashi had to dispatch chakra in his feet to dig them in the ground. He groaned and winced as the windsword was still crashed on the fire sabers, but as the fire was stronger against the wind, he managed to repel Naruto with a strong impulse of his arms. Both men engaged in a fierce fencing, fire clashing against wind. Yami Naruto was maneuvering the huge windsword as fast as he could, repelling Kakashi's fire sabers and using its blunt force to destabilize him and make him stagger backwards. Yet Kakashi was a master in the art of the blades, and his agility allowed him to imprison Yami Naruto in an illusion of fire which was enhanced by the power of the wind. Soon, he moved so fast that he succeeded in tricking Yami Naruto into thinking he was in front of him when he was really behind him. There, he kicked the back of the young man's knees to make him fall on the ground, and he took advantage of that short time during which Yami Naruto was slightly disoriented to whirl on himself and give such an impulsion to his sabers that they came to spin over his head in an impressive column of fire. He prepared himself to strike the blonde-haired boy, when he had a moment of hesitation which made him lose his balance and stagger slightly.

Yet that was what Yami Naruto was waiting for.

He recovered his spirits and leapt like a jaguar on Kakashi, crashing his fist deep in the silver-haired man's stomach, making the latter spit blood into his mask as he was thrown backwards by the force of the impact. He fell hard on his back and his sabers disappeared. Hearing a rageous scream and feeling his hair fly in every direction, Kakashi gasped and rolled on his side as Naruto's windsword crashed on the spot his head had been just a few moments earlier. As he couldn't breathe anymore because of the blow Naruto had just given him, Kakashi crossed his hands hastily and managed to pronounce the kawarimi formula. As Yami Naruto was charging him again, he disappeared, replaced by a wooden log.

The combat went on, and Kakashi grew more and more desperate. Everytime he succeeded in determining where the real Yami Naruto was, he tried to find an opening that would allow him to immobilize him long enough to hypnotize him, but the man was way too fast and unpredictable when he didn't disappear among his clones. Kakashi tried several times to bind him with his wires, but the blonde seemed to be an expert at avoiding them. However, as they kept fighting, Kakashi realized that Yami Naruto was losing focus. In addition to the fact that he, too, was losing chakra, his exponential anger at seeing Kakashi restrain his blows had the effect of multiplying the strength of his own on the one hand, and push him into making mistakes on the other hand.

Yet Kakashi's chakra kept falling.

Kakashi felt that Yami Naruto too was losing his strength, and he realized that the crucial moment was coming nearer, as the number of spawning clones was decreasing steadily after disappearing. Wincing in pain, backflipping, crouching, blocking, repelling Yami Naruto with chakra blasts, Kakashi's state was worsening rapidly. Yami Naruto was extremely fast, and the silver-haired man had more and more trouble avoiding some of his hits. As a result, the dark-eyed blonde succeeded in aiming particularly vicious kicks at Kakashi's ribs, as well as a violent blow on his nose. From the pain, the noise and the blood that started dripping in Kakashi's mouth, making him cough, the jounin deduced his nose had just got broken.

After what seemed hours to Kakashi, only one Yami Naruto remained. Both of them had stranded away from the battlefield, fighting through the woods, leaping from tree to tree, ripping the trunks apart and smashing the ground. The sky had filled with dark, heavy clouds, and the air had filled with the scent of the upcoming Naruto wouldn't spawn any more clones, and Kakashi wondered whether they had all disappeared from the clearing where his friends had been fighting. As they bursted out of the forest, Kakashi sent a violent kick at Yami Naruto's chest, sending him fly backwards and roll on the river bank.

There, both men remained still.

Kakashi was still standing at the edge of the forest. Panting, breathing with difficulty because of his broken nose, his forehead protector had been replaced by a large, bleeding gash on his forehead as Yami Naruto had crashed his fist on it and crushed the metal to pieces. His hair was falling before his tired eyes, damp with sweat and blood, and he could tell from the sharp pain on his side that he had at least three broken ribs. His mask was almost ripped off, and it still covered Kakashi's nose and mouth thanks to a tiny string of fabric. His shirt was also torn apart, showing his muscular, pale chest which was moving up and down as Kakashi was trying to recover his breath.

A drop of rain fell on Kakashi's face and slid down his cheek like a tear.

Yami Naruto remained on the ground for a little moment, his cheek pressed against the damp grass. His lip was cut open, as well of his left brow ridge which was bleeding abundantly, covering half of his face with sticky red liquid. As he heard Kakashi approaching, he growled and pushed on his hands so he could kneel. He cast a heinous, murderous look at the silver-haired man.

More drops of rain fell down, creating ripples in the calm river.

When he finally got on his feet, Yami Naruto wiped the blood off his face and spit on the ground before bearing his teeth.

"This is where it all ends, Kakashi. This is where I kill you."

"No. This is where I get you back, Naruto." Kakashi said with a soft voice.

On these words, the sky tore open, and a fantastic lightning bolt irradiated the clouds, casting its light on the two men's exhausted faces. Naruto threw himself back at Kakashi with a rageous scream, and both men, knowing these were their last forces, fought with the energy of despair. Kakashi knew he was running out of time. He could feel his chakra falling steadily. He knew he had to act fast, or he would die without recovering the real Naruto.

The rain started pouring harder as the two men kept exchanging powerful blows, moving around each other as though they were dancing under the thunder. They fell in the river, stood up, hit, fell again, growled, spat and coughed. Nothing else in the world existed to these two men's eyes but the other. The lightning crashed on the earth, illuminating their wet, exhausted faces, making Yami Naruto's hollow eyes blaze with hatred and anger, and Kakashi's mismatched pupils shine with dread as he felt that Naruto was fading further away before a creature of irrespressible savagery. As Kakashi was blocking his violent, relentless blows, he could see every inch of Naruto's usually kindly and loving face now awfully distorted in a demonic mask of pure malevolence, defiled with blood and mud.

He was running out of time.

In sheer desperation, as he couldn't seem to find any opening, Kakashi crashed his fist on Naruto's face, yelling under the storm.

"I won't lose you, Naruto! I know you're in there, damn it, and I won't let you destroy who you are, you hear me?!"

As Yami Naruto fell backwards in the water, Kakashi jumped on him and straddled him, crashing his fist on his nose and yelling again, all his body shaking under the rage and fear to lose one of the most important pieces that kept his life together.

"I won't let you destroy everything you and I believe in!"

He hit him again.

"I won't let you disappear, you hear me?! I can't let you disappear!"

His fist crashed again in Yami Naruto's jaw.

"I will bring you back even if it's the last thing I do! I will bring you back! _**I will bring you back**_!" Kakashi screamed, striking him again and again.

Yami Naruto spluttered blood which came to smear Kakashi's hands. Hating himself at the sight of Naruto's bloody and bruised face, Kakashi grabbed what remained of the blonde's shirt and raised him up so their noses practically bumped into each other.

"Now look at me for heaven's sake!" He yelled.

"Fuck you!" Yami Naruto shrieked as he crashed his forehead against Kakashi's nose. The silver-haired man yelped under the horrible pain that irradiated through his already broken nose, and he fell back in the water while Yami Naruto, spitting a broken tooth, stood up and let out a demonic, insane laugh, his eyes flaring in the storm.

"You have already lost him, Kakashi, can't you see?! You have lost! The Naruto you used to know doesn't exist anymore. He died and can never come back, I killed him when I took his body over, and you know it deep down."

Kakashi felt his heart tighten painfully at these words. Yami Naruto had read Kakashi's thoughts, and he had well understood what the silver-haired man was dreading the most. Kakashi growled and attacked him with his kunai.

" _ **Shut the hell up!"**_ he roared, jumping on his feet and charging Naruto with a kunai.

Yami Naruto blocked Kakashi's kunai with his own by raising his hands over his head, and both the men found themselves nose to nose, dripping with water, panting under the heavy rain. Yet before Kakashi had time to open his Sharingan and use it, Yami Naruto repelled him violently wih a kick in his stomach. He then whirled on himself to give impulse to a murderous stroke, diving his kunai straight to Kakashi's throat, who rolled on himself just in time. Yet Yami Naruto had a sudden resurge of anger, and as Kakashi stood up on his feet, he snarled and bore his teeth, his eyes inflamed with impossible hate. He lunged back at Kakashi's throat but the man repelled his kunai with his arms and aimed a violent kick at Yami Naruto's chest. The blonde avoided it and spinned on himself, casting his leg into the air to reach Kakashi's head who stepped backwards to avoid it, but Yami Naruto was too fast. As Kakashi staggered backwards, Naruto pummeled him with rapid, precise strokes, hitting specific points in Kakashi's body, not leaving him a single second to retaliate. Soon, the man soon found himself down on the ground, the rain pouring hard on his face, spitting and coughing blood.

There, as a deafening thunderbolt illuminated the hellish sky, Naruto straddled Kakashi and raised his hand high in the air.

"It's over, Kakashi. I win. _**Oodama Rasengan!**_ "

Kakashi remained there lying under him, his face covered in bloody cuts. His bare, muscled chest was rising and falling as he was panting. His good eye was surrounded by a bluish bruise. The giant, dark and blood-red orb appeared in Yami Naruto's hand, and the blonde grabbed what was left of Kakashi's shirt, diving his murderous eyes into the grey one, ready to strike.

 _I'm going to die._

It was an absolute certainty. For the first time of his life, Kakashi knew for sure his life had finally come to an end.

Knowing he had nothing to lose, Kakashi raised a hand towards Yami Naruto's face and gently, slowly, he caressed it, with all the tenderness he could muster.

"Naruto-kun…" he whispered in a gargling breath as his mouth was filled with blood.

Naruto kept his hand in the air, the whirling orb ready to dive right into Kakashi's heart.

 _Kakashi!_

The rain kept pouring hard on them, drenching them, harassing them, and the thunder kept rolling in the sky, tearing the clouds apart in fantastic spurts of golden light. Kakashi was defeated, at Yami Naruto's entire mercy.

Yet the dark-eyed boy didn't move a muscle.

 _Kakashi!_

Something deep, way deep within his heart seemed to be screaming.

 _No, not Kakashi!_

Something was stopping him from killing that man.

Lying on the ground, Kakashi saw the demonic eyes soften.

Within a fraction of time, he saw Naruto, imprisoned behind darkness and blood, screaming so loud it could tear off the fabric of space and time.

When tears appeared in the obscure eyes, Kakashi knew the time had come. Yet he also knew his chakra was almost completely depleted. As a result, that would certainly be his very last action. In sheer desperation, his dark grey eye filling with tears, he raised his other hand and took the whiskered face he cherished so much between his hands.

Before he pronounced the name of the last technique he would ever use, Kakashi let out a broken whisper, coming from the deepest realms of his heart.

"I love you, Uzumaki Naruto, and I shall remind you how much, may it be the last thing I ever do."

He opened his Sharingan, and murmured:

"Mangekyô… Sharingan."


	9. Down in the Well

**Chapter Nine: Down in the Well**

Yami Naruto's eyes widened as they got caught into the illusion, and the young man felt himself fall into a vortex of irresistible energy. All around him, the walls of time and space seemed to distort themselves into a display of abstract colours that slowly faded out until he completely lost his bearings.

Suddenly, his head hit a dusty, hard ground, and he grunted.

He took a short time to get up, as he felt slightly dizzy.

He rose on his feet and looked around. Surprised, he realized that he was at the exact same spot. Turning on himself, he searched for Kakashi that was lying under him a couple of minutes before, yet he was nowhere to be found. The riverbank was peaceful, as though nothing happened.

The light was different though.

He raised his eyes up and realized the clouds were oddly racing through a reddish sky. The world was completely silent, and the river was dead still, like a mirror.

Yami Naruto thought for a second.

 _Where the fuck am I?_

Breathing fast, growling angrily, he remembered Kakashi's last words.

 _Mangekyô Sharingan._

He swore and spat on the ground.

"Damn you, Hatake! Get me the Hell out of there so I can bleed you dry!" he screamed.

His voice reverberated through the air, and its echo disappeared in the distance.

The world didn't move, except for the clouds which pursued their swift, endless escape.

Yami Naruto cursed, and he was going to shout again when he caught a shiny sparkle from the corner of his eye.

He turned his head on his left and searched for the source of the highlight. After a short time, it appeared again.

It came from the river.

Yami Naruto stared at it, suspicious. He remained still for a moment.

Nothing happened, and the sparkle kept dancing on the river. The blonde boy looked up at the sky, then back at the little highlight, and he frowned. It was completely illogical, as it seemed to be totally independent from the ambient light.

Finally, curiosity got the better of him, and he approached slowly, warily.

The highlight kept shimmering on the calm, still water, and Yami Naruto kneeled on the river bank. Slowly, he leaned forward and looked in the water.

He gasped when he didn't see his reflection.

It was just as though the water was a window behind which there was another room. It looked like the inside of a large, military tent. There was a man standing in front of a table on which was sprawled a large map.

The man had silver, spiky hair.

Yami Naruto growled but he was stopped by a soft knock. Surprised to hear a sound, he stopped and watched carefully.

"Come in." Kakashi answered in a cold, tense voice.

Yami Naruto gasped as he recognized himself entering the tent.

That Naruto had beautiful blue eyes, and he was about three years younger.

The blue-eyed blonde entered the tent, but he remained in the entrance, apparently not daring to come forward. He was twisting his hands and looking at the floor.

"You…You asked for me?"

Kakashi rose from the map and turned towards him, crossing his arms and standing firmly in the ground.

"Obviously." He answered with the same, cold voice.

Naruto still didn't dare looking into the furious eyes. He scratched the back of his head and had an embarassed laugh.

"All right look…I'm sorry-ttebayo, I guess I didn't think…"

"I beg your pardon?" Kakashi asked in a voice that made the temperature of the room fall down several degrees.

Naruto gulped.

"Err...I...I wasn't thinking about what I was doing..."

There was a dead silence. Kakashi had his arms crossed on his muscular chest. He was completely still, like a marble statue, but his eyes were boring holes into Naruto. Watching the scene, Yami Naruto reminded how his other self had felt at that moment. He had been completely paralysed, because he wasn't used to seeing Kakashi so angry. Kakashi was a kind, sometimes a bit evasive man. He was used to Naruto's blunders, and he had a habit of scowling him a bit harshly before ruffling his hair, or of forcing his head down in a bow before a particularly pissed off Hokage. Yet at that time, he looked like a pillar of ice. His jaw was clenched and his nose slightly crinkled as though he was growling. Somewhere in his mind, Yami Naruto remembered that at that precise moment, his other self had vaguely thought Kakashi really looked like a wolf ready to jump at his throat.

Then the man had spoken in a low, icy voice.

"Is that your excuse?"

Naruto had lowered his head and said nothing.

"Let me resume the situation, Kakashi went on, we are right in the middle of an operation against the Shiroitaka, I assign precise roles to each and everyone of you so that things go smoothly, and you just blow a fuse and decide that you are going to end the battle all by yourself by just diving headfirst into their General Quarters. And now you tell me you "were not thinking?" Do you only hear youself, Naruto?"

Naruto whispered.

"It went well in the end, we have captured the..."

"Silence!" Kakashi snapped in a sudden, strong voice

Naruto started a bit and coiled further back from the jounin.

"I am mad at you, Naruto. I am so mad at you. I have been telling you the same thing over and over again but it just doesn't seem to sink into that thick, baka head of yours. So now you listen to me good. And look at your Captain when he's talking to you!"

Naruto raised his eyes to him but regretted it instantly. Kakashi was terrifying, and he suddenly seemed extremely tall. He was standing firm on his feet, his chest and his shoulders were broad and strong, his hair standing almost vertically on his head in an extraordinary silver rain.

"You are to follow my fucking orders to the letter. When I tell you to do something, you do it, no questions asked. When I tell you to stay put and not run forward like a fucking idiot, you stay fucking put and you don't run forward like a fucking idiot. Do you understand that?" Kakashi shouted in a strong, authoritative voice.

"H...hai..."

"Hai _whom_?!"

"Hai, Kakashi-sensei..."

Kakashi sighed and shook his head, wincing. Then he resumed his lecture, his voice growing louder again as he was going on.

"This could have ended up in a disaster, Naruto. If Sakura hadn't reacted so fast, you could have both been killed. She saved your ass while putting herself in an extremely delicate situation, and I will _not_ forgive you for putting her life in danger, no more than I will forgive you for putting your _own_ life at risk as well."

Naruto lowered his eyes again, guilt flooding his heart.

"Now don't you make me repeat this, Naruto. The next time you force me to tell you that again, I swear it is _not_ going to end well for you. **Got it**?!" Kakashi yelled.

Naruto nodded sadly.

"I...I'm so sorry sensei-ttebayo…"

He gulped and kept his eyes glued to his feet. There was an awkward silence, during which only Kakashi's angry breathing could be heard.

"I…Maybe I should go…" Naruto whispered, turning to the door.

There was another silence, then Kakashi had a brusque movement forward. Naruto, thinking he was going to hit him, gasped and put his arms in front of his face to protect himself.

"ImeanpleaseletmegoKakashi-senseittebayoI'mreallysorr…." He blabbered so fast he almost bit his tongue.

Yet Kakashi grabbed his wrist and Naruto felt himself be yanked forward.

"Come here, you fucking nuthead." The jounin said curtly.

Naruto's face landed right into Kakashi's shoulder and got pressed in, further and further as Kakashi was pushing the back of his head with a hand in his hair, until Naruto couldn't see anything anymore. As at the time he was still a teenager, he was much smaller than Kakashi. As a result, he felt his feet detach from the ground as the man straightened up with his face trapped in his shoulder.

Kakashi wrapped his other arm around the lower of his back and held him in place, squeezing him so tight Naruto had hard time to breathe. Yet he didnt dare make any move for fear Kakashi would crush him in his powerful arms. He just focused on trying to breathe the best he could, as his face was litterally squashed into his shoulder, his feet dangling above the ground. After a few minutes of a fierce, silent hug, Kakashi leaned down to put Naruto back on the ground, but he didn't falter his embrace and kept his face buried in his shoulder. Then he spoke again in a much gentler voice.

"You scared the Hell out of me, Naruto-chan."

By the riverbank, Yami Naruto felt a tiny, distant tug at his heart when he heard that nickname. That was the first time Kakashi had ever called him that, and he remembered how he had felt at this moment.

He had felt sincerely, deeply loved.

In the tent, Kakashi started caressing Naruto's hair slowly, as though he was holding something precious.

"You have to stop doing this, do you understand? You're putting all your comrades in danger and..."

Kakashi paused a moment. Then he tightened his embrace.

"...and I don't want to lose you. All right?"

Naruto raised his arms and hugged Kakashi's waist.

"Hai, sensei...Gomen..." He answered in a muffled voice.

Yami Naruto observed them as they were remaining embraced. He remembered how strong Kakashi's arms had felt around him, how tightly he had held him. It had lasted a very long time, as though he would never let go of him again.

He had felt so safe in his arms.

He remembered his appeasing smell, his soft voice, the gentle caress of his long hand in his hair…

Suddenly he seemed to wake up, and he slapped the water furiously, making the tender scene disappear.

He rose on his feet and growled at the sky.

"You are being ridiculous. Are you seriously going to fight me with the fucking "power of love"? Do you think reminding me of these moments you spent with that fool will work against me? Don't you think you have hurt him far more often than you have loved him? Now quit fucking around with me and show yourself, you _coward_!"

Again, his angry voice floated in the quiet air, but Kakashi didn't appear.

"Fine! You want to play with me? All right we'll play. I'm going to find you, even if I have to walk to the end of that cursed world of yours."

He started moving towards the forest. The trees were also completely frozen, and there was absolutely no sound. No wind was playing in the leaves, no bird was singing. It was like a particularly realistic dream, where the world seemed so concrete you could actually feel it, yet something seemed out of place, illogical, although it was barely explainable. Yami Naruto felt like he was wandering in a parallel universe where mankind had never existed, where time did not run, where space was infinite.

He walked for a moment before he heard a scream. He started, jerking his head towards the sound which contrasted so much with the otherwise dominant peace.

There in the trees, there was a bright, white light. Thinking he was going to find Kakashi there, Yami Naruto rushed forward. Yet instead of ending up in a clearing as he thought he would, Yami Naruto found himself in a hospital room. On the bed, a blonde-haired boy was screaming and crying while five nurses were trying to overpower him.

Again, it was his alter ego, when he was about fourteen years old.

Yet this time he didn't remember that scene. He watched as his former self was twisting and screaming, trying to repel the nurses, sobbing like a little child. Observing him carefully, Yami Naruto realized that his eyes were not fixed. They kept wandering around without ever stopping.

He was blind.

Then suddenly the door of the room barged open, revealing a wide-eyed, short-breathed Kakashi.

" _ **Yamete! Yamete kudasai!**_ _"_ Naruto kept screaming, completely terrorized.

Kakashi strode forward and shouted.

"Everyone out!"

"But Kakashi-san…!" A nurse protested.

"He has been stung by a squared-tailed scorpion, thus he is delusional and he has lost his sight! Can't you see you are scaring him?! Now get the Hell out of here!"

The nurses exchanged worried glances, but as usual, no one dared to argue with an angry Hatake Kakashi. They almost ran to the door, and Kakashi climbed on the bed next to Naruto.

"Maaa, Naruto-kun...You hear me?"

Naruto kept sobbing while Kakashi reached out his arms slowly to lay his hands on the blonde's shoulders. When he touched him though, Naruto had a brusque movement backwards and coiled against the wall.

"D-don't t-touch me!" He gasped.

"Shhh...Calm down Naruto...I'm not going to hurt you."

"Wh-who are y-you?! L-l-leave me alone!" Naruto hiccupped while lifting his arm in front of his face.

Kakashi delicately brushed Naruto's arm to lower it down.

"It's me, Kakashi sensei...I am your friend. I won't hurt you, I promise."

He remained still for a short time, just caressing Naruto's arm, whispering sweet words.

"I c-can't see! I…Wh-What's happening to me?!" Naruto asked, hyperventilating, rotating his head in every direction.

"It's only temporary, Naruto-kun. You have been hit by a square-tailed scorpion, remember? Sakura needed those special herbs, the Emerald Hoops, and they can be found only in square-tailed scoprions' burrows… You have to be patient; you will eventually come back to your senses. Trust me, okay?" Kakashi answered in a soft, reassuring voice. Slowly, he slid a hand behind Naruto's back while the other one was traveling up the back of his neck to tangle in his blonde, messy hair.

"Calm down, trust me...Shhh..." Kakashi whispered.

The blonde was shaking violently. Kakashi started pulling him into his embrace by delicately guiding his face towards his chest.

"Come in my arms..." He whispered.

Yami Naruto observed as Kakashi tucked the blonde's face under his chin, slowly, tenderly. Naruto had a strangled gasp and tried to free himself but Kakashi encircled his head with both of his arms and kept his face buried in his chest.

"Shhhhhh..." He soothed in a long, tender whisper.

He kissed Naruto's hair and swayed him softly back and forth.

"I'm here, Naruto-chan. I've got you, I won't let anyone or anything hurt you. I promise you...Shhh now...calm down...calm down, it's over ..."

Naruto let out a sob in his chest and clang to him with desperate strength.

"D-don't...l-let g-go..." He hiccupped, as he was having trouble breathing.

Kakashi kept a hand in his hair, pressing the blonde's face further his chest, while his other arm came around his back to rub him soothingly.

"I won't, Kakashi answered in his ear. I promise. You're safe in my arms, remember? You're safe. I'm protecting you. I will always protect you..."

Naruto crammed his face in the jounin's chest and he started sobbing harder, his entire body shaking. Kakashi wrapped his arms around his head again and smothered him in his chest.

"You're safe in my arms..." He kept repeating.

Yami Naruto's face colored with a strange expression.

He didn't want to watch this.

Somehow, it hurt him deep inside.

It made him feel like he had…

… _lost something…_

It made him feel as though he was…

… _lonelier than ever…_

The words were jostling in his mind in an illogical dance, and he felt the violent urge to flee.

Yet he just couldn't look away.

He couldn't look away from Kakashi's so tender, protective embrace. He couldn't tear his eyes off the silver-haired man's face, because his expression was so...

 _...beautiful…_

Yes. Kakashi was beautiful, because he radiated love.

Even with his mask on, Yami Naruto could see his eyes closed, his brows slightly furrowed, and his jaw clenching. It was an expression of devotion. He was holding Naruto so tight he could see his hands twisting the blonde's shirt, so close that Naruto's face had disappeared in his chest.

Suddenly, Yami Naruto couldn't stand it anymore. He grabbed a stone and once again threw it at the scene which disappeared.

"Is that all you've got?! A simple hug when that idiot got beaten up again? Is _that_ your big weapon? This is nothing but a loss of time. You're showing me these small, fluffy moments you spent with him, but you're not showing all the rest, right Kakashi? Yes, sure, that's full of hearts and little flying fairies, all of this is very pretty, but have you forgotten that for years you only had eyes for that self-righteous, arrogant Sasuke ? You taught that guy a murderous technique he almost killed _your_ Naruto with. And then you act all lovey-dovey with that fool because Sasuke is gone to find someone as crazy and dangerous as him, and you feel like shit, so oh what's that?! That's incredible! There's a blonde boy there too, who is desperate for your attention! Maybe he is the only chance you have to fix up your own mess so let's start and get interested in him!"

He paused and shook his head.

"I'm fed up with this, Kakashi, all right? That's enough! Get your ass down there!" Yami Naruto yelled again.

Yet Kakashi remained nowhere to be found, and Yami Naruto resumed his wandering. For what seemed hours and hours, he encountered new memories of Kakashi and him. They were alternatively sad, happy or funny memories, like a palette of different colours composing a great, beautiful and contrasting painting. In this one, Kakashi was trying to calm the Sandaime's anger when Naruto and the others had sneaked in the archives building to search for a photograph of Kakashi. In that other one, Naruto had an intimate conversation about girls with Kakashi in the public bath. In that other one, Naruto was rolling on the floor laughing as he had just played a particularly mean prank to Kakashi which included stealing his favourite book and replacing it with one that sprung a giant box glove when it was opened. Again in another one, Kakashi and Naruto were sprawled on Kakashi's apartment floor. Naruto was in his pajamas, and Kakashi was holding and shushing him to his bare chest. The blonde was shaking with panicked sobs after a nightmare involving particularly scary ghosts, nightmare which had sent him fly right to Kakashi's apartment in the middle of the night. Kakashi had held him until the by had fallen asleep again, and he had carried him back to his flat. There, he had stayed at his side during the entire night, reading under the moonlight, just to make sure the blonde had a peaceful night.

Yami Naruto kept searching for Kakashi, trying not to pay attention to the scenes which kept appearing through the tall, immobile trees, as he took another path or as he hopped over a ravine.

Yet each time, he watched.

The scenes started to include Sakura, then Sai, then Shikamaru and all his best friends. He saw himself laugh while Shikamaru was ruffling his hair and calling him a troublesome idiot. He saw that famous night where they had been playing cards with Shikamaru, Kakashi, Chouji, Lee and Guy. That particular night, Chouji, Lee, Guy and Naruto had got eliminated from the game, and Kakashi and Shikamaru had been playing hours to determine the winner, so much that Naruto had ended up drooling on Kakashi's shoulder, sleeping like a log.

The worst thing was that in the end, neither Shikamaru nor Kakashi had ever wanted to tell who had won.

He gritted his teeth, his heart clenching further and further, as the memories kept appearing. A blushing Hinata behind that tree, a pissed off Yamato behind that one, and a happy Sakura carrying a huge cake to celebrate his return after three years of training with Jiraiya.

Then, as Yami Naruto was crossing a stream in the forest, he heard Yamato's voice.

"Senpai! We shouldn't do this! That's not reasonable, this is a private domain and we are not allowed to light fires!"

"Maaa, maaaa, you worry too much Tenzou. I promised the kids I would make them taste some grilled dragon mushrooms, and they can only be found here, you know that right? I'll just take it on me if we get caught, okay?" Kakashi's happy voice rang into the air.

Sitting around a happily roaring fire were Sai, Sakura, Naruto, Kakashi and Yamato. Kakashi and his younger students were holding wooden sticks around which they had wrapped a particularly long, reddish mushroom. Sai, Sakura and Naruto were smiling like children, excited to be doing something forbidden under their own sensei's guidance.

"Stop calling me Tenzou!"

"Maaa, you're awfully grumpy today! Come on, relax, you all have worked well today and I'm proud of you. Let's have some fun now, all right? Now listen up. You have to put the mushroom just above the fire, but not right into it or it will cook on the inside, now that's not what we want is it? We want it to remain soft at its core and crispy on the outside…."

Kakashi showed how to cook the mushroom, smiling softly as his students were looking at him with absolute attention. Even Yamato ended up following the lesson after enrolling his own mushroom while grumbling like an old owl.

Then a voice boomed behind Yamato.

"What in the seven Hells do you think you're doing?!"

Yamato jumped so high in the air he almost opened his skull on the branch above him, and he turned towards the man behind him, raising his hands in surrender.

" _Sumimasen! Sumimasen! Sumimasen!_ " he kept shouting.

The man strode forward and it poofed back into a blonde, blue-eyed boy with a grin so wide it touched both his ears.

" _Hahahahahahaha! You should see your face, Yamato taichou-ttebayo!"_ he howled in laughter before disappearing in the air, while the real Naruto was rolling on the floor laughing by the fire, along with Sai and Sakura. Kakashi's beautiful voice also rose in a hearty, sincere laugh, and the four of them had to hold their sides while Yamato was sitting back angrily and crossing his arms.

"Humph…That was _not_ funny at all. That was really mean. Grmmblblblll…."

Kakashi stood up and went to sit next to him.

"Maaaaa, come on Tenzou, chill out, for crying out loud!" he said casting an arm around his shoulders.

" _ **My name is Yamato, Senpai, for crying out loud!**_ "

As Kakashi, Sai, Naruto and Sakura burst out laughing again, a little giggle came to Yami Naruto's ears.

Horror struck him when he realized that giggle had just come out of his own throat.

He pressed a hand tightly to his mouth and went right through the illusional fire in order to dive further into the forest. As he was moving forward between the thick bushes and leaves, he could hear the happy laughs that kept ringing behind him, and his heart bled.

The truth was, he had completely forgotten about that moment, and he had suddenly remembered how much he had laughed that night. He had remembered that he had wished that night would never end, that he could always be with his closest friends, laughing with them under the stars and eating a delicious grilled mushroom. The only dark thought that had crossed his mind that night was that he truly missed Sasuke.

Again, Yami Naruto shook his head. He was starting to lose it. The howling scream in his heart was slowly overcome by a warm, powerful feeling which he didn't understand.

 _I don't_ _ **want**_ _to understand._

 _This is_ _ **not**_ _me._

 _That part of me is_ _ **dead**_ _._

 _All of this is not_ _ **my**_ _life._

He growled and smashed his fist into a tree, diving his hand right through the trunk.

"Kakashi, when I find you, I'm going to smash your face in so hard your nose is going to stick in the back of your head!"

Deep down, he couldn't deny that Kakashi was indeed a formidable opponent. That bastard was good at physical combat as well as mental, and Yami Naruto could feel he was losing control on his heart.

Suddenly he gasped as he felt his leg dive through the ground as he was taking another step forward.

"What the f…!"

He went right through a thick carpet of leaves and fell into a dark, slightly mossy hole. Banging his head on a rock, he swore and coughed the dust that had entered his lungs in the fall. Then he opened his eyes and looked around, and he had another soft, surprised gasp.

Just a few feet from him, Kakashi was lying down on his stomach, squinting through a curtain of leaves, the upper part of his face painted in black so that his large, almond-shaped eyes looked like jewels in a pool of liquid coal.

Without thinking, Yami Naruto yelled.

" _ **Got you, bastard!**_ _"_

He crawled forward and jerked his arm towards the man to hit him…

…yet his fist went right through his head.

Yami Naruto remained stunned for a short time, his fist still clenched in the air, his face immobilized in a surprised expression. Then he understood it was another illusion, and he seethed.

"Oh for crying out loud, will you stop doing that and fight me for real?!"

"Sen-sensei…" a soft voice raised in the narrow space.

Yami Naruto squinted hard to see in the feebly lit burrow, and he started discerning another shape next to Kakashi. It was the body of a teenager, and he seemed to be lying on his back. Kakashi had a protective arm cast over the body's stomach while looking out with a deadly serious expression. Yet as soon as he heard the soft, worried voice, his expression changed and he reported all his attention on the teen.

"Yes, Naruto?" he answered in a gentle voice, his eyes softening.

Yami Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Oh by all the fucking damn…" he started, exasperated.

"I...I screwed up again, right sensei-ttebayo?" the other Naruto asked. He looked about thirteen years old.

Kakashi sighed.

"Ma...Let's just say that you have led us in a pretty tricky situation here…"

Naruto coughed, and Yami Naruto remembered he had been particularly wounded at that time. Again, he had disobeyed Kakashi's orders, and the man had found him lying on the ground, poisoned by a particularly strong jutsu. Being himself almost chakra-depleted and knowing that moving Naruto in that state would certainly kill him, he had sent Pakkun and Sakura to find a medic nin in Konoha and bring them back. Meantime, they had to hide somewhere because they were still at the core of the ennemy's territory.

Kakashi scratched his head.

"I hope you are aware of the fact that if you were not already badly wounded, I would beat the crap out of you for disobeying me again?" he asked.

Naruto answered with a nasty coughing fit, and Kakashi's face colored with worry as he took him by his shoulders and turned him on his side so he wouldn't suffocate.

"Easy, easy there…" Kakashi said, wiping Naruto's mouth.

"GnngN it hurts…!" Naruto whined.

"I know. Hang in there, Naruto, all right? Help is coming."

Like Kakashi, Naruto's face was covered with a dark paste to camouflage his skin, and he raised stunningly blue eyes to his sensei.

"Sensei…Am I…going to die here?" he whispered.

As he observed the scene, Yami Naruto remembered how the boy had felt at this moment. The poison had been playing around with his senses, and for the first time, he had truly believed he was going to die. It was the first time of his young life that he had been contemplating death, and he had been scared out of his mind. Yet he remembered that he didn't want to show Kakashi that he was scared. To his eyes, he wasn't allowed to be scared, a future Hokage was brave no matter what, and they had no right to feel fear.

And then Yami Naruto's heart clenched again when he remembered Kakashi's reaction, even before the scene unraveled once again before his eyes.

Kakashi had a soft gasp, and he turned a surprised face to the young man. Then he pulled himself together and cast an arm around the blonde's shoulders.

"Maa, maa, maa, what kind of nonsense are you blabbering again?!"

"Well I mean…I'm…I'm cold and…and I can feel the p-poison going fast."

Kakashi took off both his vest and shirt, struggling in the narrow space, his bare chest rubbing against the earth.

"What are you doing?!" Naruto asked.

Kakashi didn't answer and he wrapped Naruto into his clothes before taking his face into his hands and sticking their foreheads together.

" _You are not going anywhere_ , Naruto, you hear me?" Kakashi said, insisting on every word.

"But..Sensei…"

"Hush now. Stop talking. A medic nin will get here soon, and they will heal you. I have no doubt about that."

Naruto gulped.

"And…And if they…don't find us?"

Kakashi frowned, as he was not used to Naruto being so doubtful. Yami Naruto knew the man had thought very carefully to choose his words.

"They will, Pakkun and Sakura will be leading them."

"B…But."

"Shhh, calm down, Naruto, Kakashi answered in a soothing voice, kneading the back of Naruto's neck, I promise you they will find us, and even if they didn't, then I would take you myself to Konoha."

"But…You don't have any more chakra-ttebayo…"

"I will for you. I will share the chakra I have left with you, and I will get you out of there. I'm your sensei right? Do you honestly think I would let you die? Don't worry Naruto-kun, I know what I'm doing. No matter what, you are _**not**_ allowed to die, okay? And this time, don't you dare disobey me."

Naruto had a soft, grateful smile.

"Hai, Kakashi-sensei-ttebayo…"

Kakashi ruffled his hair.

"That's my boy. Now calm down and breathe."

He let go of his face and turned his body to lie down again on his stomach, watching through the leaves.

As the minutes went by, Naruto let out soft whimpers as his body was starting to shake.

Again, Kakashi turned concerned eyes to him. He laid the back of his hand on his forehead and his eyes widened when he felt the temperature.

"C…Cold…I'm c-cold…" Naruto said, his teeth chattering.

Yami Naruto felt something warm invade his body when he watched Kakashi turn again towards Naruto. He lied down on his side and reached out his arms towards the young boy. He caught him and engulfed him into his bare chest by wrapping his arms tight around him. Naruto had a surprised gasp.

"W…What are you…d-doing K-Kakashi sensei…W-We're b-both…m-men!", he protested, detaching his head from Kakashi's chest and trying to repel him.

Kakashi had a soft chuckle which eased his worried features. He grabbed Naruto's head in his hand and forced his face back against his chest, pressing his cheek on the neat line that separated Kakashi's pectorals.

"Don't be silly. I need to give you some warmth. It will help fight the poison. Now shut up."

He tightened his other arm around the blonde's shoulders and started rubbing him vigorously to warm him up. Yami Naruto remembered the strange feelings that had flooded his heart at that precise moment. He remembered that he had blushed very hard at the idea of being held so close to Kakashi's naked chest, yet he had never understood why. He had never talked about this event to anyone, no more than he had ever admitted that he had truly liked that. To one point, he had actually felt the intense urge to turn his face in order to bury it between Kakashi's pectorals so he could smell his scent and feel his warmth engulf his face, so that nothing would ever get him in there.

Yet it had certainly been an effect of the poison.

Obviously…

 _I remember the softness of his skin…The slightly salty scent of his sweat…The firmness of his muscles under my cheek…The sound of his beating heart…The strength of his arms…The tenderness of his hand in my hair…The contraction of his biceps and his pectorals as he was tightening his embrace…_

Yami Naruto shook his head.

"Okay that's enough, that's ridiculous, I'm out of there."

He started hauling himself up to get out of the hole and search for the real Kakashi when the illusion spoke again.

"You know that it's okay to be scared, don't you, Naruto-kun?"

In his arms, Naruto started fidgeting but Kakashi kept him firmly against him.

"I'm n-n-not s-sc-scared-tt-tt-ttebayo."

"Mmmhmmh…" Kakashi hummed cynically. His deep, beautiful voice rolled in his throat like tender waves vibrating against Naruto's hair as he tightened his embrace around him.

"I-I-m t-t-elling you I-I..'m n-not sc-scared tt-ttebayo!" Naruto fumed.

Kakashi couldn't help but chuckling, and again, his voice provoked a wave of heat in Yami Naruto's heart. Vaguely, he told himself that Kakashi was really the only person in his life to have the power to make him feel so protected only with his voice.

"Shhh, shhh, shhh…All right all right, you're not scared."

He caressed his hair tenderly with the hand that cradled his face against his chest, and kept rubbing his back with the other.

"I'm just saying that being Hokage doesn't mean not knowing fear."

Naruto gasped in his chest, and Yami Naruto remembered what he had thought at that time.

 _Damn, that man can read minds!_

"On the contrary, Kakashi kept on in his low voice, being Hokage means that you know fear, but that you are experienced enough to work with it. It means that you can face your fears, and guide the others accordingly. Fear doesn't reflet cowardice, Naruto-kun, but wisdom."

Naruto didn't say anything, but Yami Naruto knew that sentence had just become engraved in his heart forever.

"Yet now there's no reason to be afraid, because I'm here. I'm right here with you, and I will get you back to Konoha, no matter what. Wakatta, Naruto-chan?"

Naruto still didn't say anything. His throat had become tight, and tears had come up to his eyes. He closed his eyes and snuggled closer to Kakashi, who felt his emotion. He hugged him fiercely as Naruto kept shaking.

"Daijoubu…I'm here. I promise you I will protect you." he whispered, closing his eyes.

After a short, tender time, he seemed to remember something. He opened his eyes and let go of Naruto's head to search the pouch hanging on his waist. Soon, he retrieved a small object enveloped in a brown paper, and he showed it to Naruto who looked at him with curious, tired eyes.

"Do you know what this is?"

Naruto shook his head slowly.

"It's your birthday present."

Naruto's eyes widened and he opened his mouth, astonished.

"F-For m-me?!"

"Maa, of course for you, baka, do you see anyone else in here?"

Yami Naruto looked as the tears were brimming in Naruto's eyes. His heart was awfully constricted. He remembered that it was the first year Kakashi had actually bought a present to Naruto for his birthday. He had been touched beyond reason.

"I took it with me because your birthday is tomorrow and I thought we would still be on mission. I'm showing it to you now, but I'm not giving it to you."

"Why n-nooot?!" Naruto protested vigorously.

Kakashi laughed.

"First because today is not your birthday and second because I will only give it to you when I get you back to Konoha safe and sound. See it as a promise. You have to hold on until then, all right?"

"T-Tell m-me wh-what i-it is tt-ttebayo!"

"No way" Kakashi said, putting the small object back in his pocket.

"K-Kakashi-s-sensei!"

"Maaaa! Maaaa! I said no." Kakashi answered as he grabbed Naruto's hair again to put his face back in his chest. Then he wrapped both of his arms around his shoulders and squeezed him tight, putting his chin on his hair and sighing like a cat having just swallowed a mouse.

"I-is i-it s-something y-you c-can eat?"

"Nope."

"S-something f-for f-fight-fighting then-ttebayo?"

"Nope."

"Oh c-come o-on!" Naruto cried out.

"Shh! Shut up, you are going to get us caught."

"B-But…"

"Naruto."

"But Sensei!"

"Stop talking or I promise I will knock you out." Kakashi said authoritatively while crushing Naruto's face to his bare hest.

The scene kept going, and Yami Naruto didn't realize he was observing them with a soft, nostalgic smile on his face. With his hand, he was playing absent-mindedly with the necklace that was hanging around his neck. It was the necklace Kakashi had offered his alter ego for his thirteenth birthday, as he was lying in a hospital room.

The pendant of that necklace was a maerlstorm embracing a leaf, delicately sculpted in silver.

When Kakashi had given him the necklace, as he had promised back in the burrow, Naruto had been looking at it like an incredible treasure. It was a present that had gone straight to his heart, because it represented his very dream: himself protecting his home. He had been so touched by the meaning of that little, beautiful sculpture, that big, salty tears had started rolling on his cheeks. He had raised his eyes up to Kakashi, opening his mouth to thank him, but he hadn't been able to utter a single word. Kakashi had smiled softly, and he had wiped his tears with his thumbs.

"Even the strongest Hokage has to be scared. It is what gives them the courage and the strength to lead and protect their people. I believe in you, Naruto, and that's why I intend to guide you and protect you until you reach your dream, and beyond. I will always be there for you."

Yami Naruto's heart broke at this memory, and he had a brusque movement backwards. He clenched his shirt over his heart and winced. It seemed that his chest was constricted by an iron vice, and he found it hard to breathe. He was still in the burrow, and he felt like he was going to suffocate. He tore his eyes from the tender embrace that was still portrayed before him, and he hauled himself up, digging through the earth to reach the surface.

When he finally got out, he started running.

He just ran.

He wasn't even looking for Kakashi anymore. He was fleeing.

He couldn't stand it anymore.

He couldn't stand his heart being flooded and devoured with a torrent of contradictory emotions. He couldn't stand the incredible love Kakashi was showing him, yet, he didn't understand why. It was almost as though he was desperately aching for that love deep inside, but at the same time running from it.

 _Why? Why do you keep running?_

After racing for what seemed like miles, Yami Naruto stopped, panting, and he planted his feet on the ground. He had got out of the forest, and he was now on top of a cliff that overlooked a beautiful valley, crossed by the peaceful river. There, he raised his dark and red eyes to the sky, staring at the reddish sky that strangely seemed to be crumbling slightly. From his throat, a bitter laugh escaped like a sob.

"Where were you?" he whispered.

He remained there for a moment, panting, and then he fell on his knees.

"Where were you when I was five years old, when I was hungry and when people would throw me stones while I was just asking for something to eat?"

He drew a shuddering breath.

"Where were you when I was seven years old, when I was beaten up everyday at school?"

His throat was so tight it hurt when he spoke. His suffering was so immense it was like an ocean drowning his heart and crushing it under its impossible weight.

"Where were you for almost eleven years of my life, when I was lonely, and hated, and rejected?"

He crashed both his fists to the ground and screamed, his face twisting in anger and resentment.

"Six years ago you wouldn't give a rat's ass about me, before I ended up in your care! Until four years ago when Sasuke left, you didn't give a damn about me, you just focused on Sasuke when I was doing everything in my power to have some damn worth in your eyes! For all these years you just ignored me, and now you think you can erase all of this just by hugging me and saying that you will always be there for me?! That you will always protect me? That's too easy, Kakashi! "

He remained there for a moment, his face turned to the sky, panting. Then his heart skipped a beat and his eyes widened.

 _I said I._

Without realizing it, Yami Naruto had just reconnected himself with his other self. He had appropriated his emotions.

He had just rebuilt the link.

He growled angrily and grasped his head, shaking it fiercely.

"What am I saying…That's not me…None of this is addressed to me…You are just trying to get rid of me because as usual, I'm a nuisance…"

Yami Naruto started to understand why he had felt so sad at rewinding all these memories.

They were not properly his memories. They were his other self's. All the love and care Kakashi had showed him in these scenes were not addressed to him. He was just trying to beat him, to erase him from Uzumaki Naruto's body.

"And me? What am I? Who am I? Have I not the right to exist? Have I not the right to be loved too? To have friends? To be considered as a human being instead of a monster?!" Yami Naruto whispered, a tear rolling on his cheek.

"You are Uzumaki Naruto too. You are part of him, and he is part of you." A soft, deep voice rose behind him.

Yami Naruto jumped on his feet and turned towards the silver-haired man that was standing a few feet away.

"I was wrong to tell you, at the beginning of our fight, that you are not the Naruto I know. I can see now that you are the expression of all the things the Naruto I know never told me. You are the expression of his fears, his pain and his loneliness. And because I understand you, I love you as I love your counterpart. I love Uzumaki Naruto for everything he represents."

Yami Naruto growled.

"Shut up!"

He charged and dove on Kakashi, but went right through him.

Kakashi reappeared behind him.

"You asked me why I wasn't there when you needed me the most… Well I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, Naruto, and one of them was to look the other way when you were suffering and struggling alone as a child."

Yami Naruto was so shocked he couldn't utter a sound. Above them, the sky started darkening, and the clouds were scattering, as though they were ripped apart and disappearing from the world.

"I closed my eyes because I was in ANBU. I was trained to forget about myself and my emotions. I was trained to be a faceless assassin. These were the darkest times of my life."

Yami Naruto shook his head.

"You think that's an acceptable excuse?!"

Kakashi sighed and lowered his eyes to the ground.

"Of course it's not. Nothing can make up for the fact of knowing what is right but choose to ignore it. Nothing can make up either for the fact that I didn't show you enough attention when Sasuke was there. I was worried about that child because he had so much violence inside of him. I believed I could save him."

"By teaching him a murderous jutsu? Smart move." Yami Naruto sniggered.

"Indeed. It was one of the stupidest things I ever did, and I realized it fully when I picked you up half-dead in the Valley of the End."

"I don't give a damn about your regrets! _I don't want your love._ _ **I don't want your love if it means you will die because of me like Ero-sennin did!**_ _"_ Yami Naruto screamed.

There was a long silence, during which Yami Naruto suddenly realized he had just said something that had come from the bottom of his heart.

He realized this was the core of his anger against Kakashi.

Kakashi really loved him, yet Yami Naruto kept finding excuses to repel him. And the more he thought about these excuses, the more he thought they were mostly unfounded. Kakashi had indeed never taken care of him when he was a child, but he didn't know him at that time. For what reason should he have taken care of a baby when he was only fourteen and almost always away from the village? For that matter, Jiraiya was also at fault. Hell, even Iruka hated him at first. As for Sasuke, Kakashi had indeed seemed to be particularly interested in him, but when Naruto thought about it, Kakashi had always protected the three of them. He hadn't been a perfect sensei because he had made mistakes, but Yami Naruto could remember a lot of small, discrete moments when he could actually feel that indeed, Kakashi did care for him, even though he didn't show it much.

It were just simple gestures and attentions, such as lecturing Naruto on his diet, walking beside him and listening to his endless babbling, taking him to Ichiraku's even though he loved telling Naruto that he had to pay for himself to learn how to get by in life. It was just pulling the cover up Naruto's body and ruffling his hair when they camped on a mission, when Kakashi thought the boy was sleeping.

 _So why do I try so hard to hate Kakashi when I have so few reasons to?_

"Because _you_ are the one you hate." Kakashi answered his silent question.

Before Yami Naruto had time to make a move, he found his face buried in a Kakashi-smelling shoulder. He felt Kakashi's arms engulf him in a powerful, crushing embrace, and he felt his heart was going to burst.

"Stop this! Don't touch me!" he cried out, his voice muffled into Kakashi's shoulder.

His hands grasped the jounin's jacket and twisted the fabric as he could feel his face being pressed deeper into Kakashi's embrace.

He realized he was trying to fight back, but his strength was leaving him.

"You can't just solve everything with a fucking hug, Kakashi!" he growled, as fresh tears were coming right up to his eyes.

That was it. He couldn't fight.

He just couldn't.

He just let himself be swallowed in Kakashi's embrace while the man held him tightly, cradling his face in his shoulder.

"Debating with words will get us nowhere, Kakashi whispered, we both know you will find any excuse to deny what I'm telling or showing you. So I will just hold you until you accept it, might you be Naruto or Yami Naruto. After all, to me, you are the same, precious person."

He shifted his arms so he could indeed hold the boy tighter.

"You can persuade yourself you hate me. You can yell at me, insult me, hit me, tell me that I'm nothing but a hopeless porn-addicted pervert. I will just crush you to my heart. I will just keep you wrapped in my embrace, and I will just hold you while you scream and cry, while you seethe and struggle, while you bite and claw. And if you try to escape me using ninjutsu or whatever technique, I will tie your hands up so you cannot form the signs, and bury your lips into my chest so you cannot pronounce the words. I will just hold you until you understand."

He paused for a moment. He knew he didn't have much time. From the corner of his eye, he could see the borders of the world starting to erode into nothingness, as the power of his mangekyô was weakening.

"You are trying to convince yourself you hate me, because you hate yourself so much it is unbearable."

Yami Naruto's breath was short, and he started shaking. Each of Kakashi's words seemed to be a sword diving right through his heart, hitting his darkest secrets.

"I understand now, Naruto-kun, Kakashi kept saying, rocking Yami Naruto softly from left to right. I understand that you hate yourself because you think you are the one to blame for Jiraiya-sama's death."

Yami Naruto escaped a tiny gasp, and Kakashi closed his eyes, focusing on holding his face in his shoulder in a loving embrace. Slowly, he could feel Yami Naruto's chakra changing. The howling scream started disappearing, and the whirling darkness started fading away, like the world around them.

"But you need to forgive yourself, Naruto-kun, as Jiraiya-sama did not die because of you. He was a soldier of Konoha, and he made the choice to investigate alone. He did it not only for you. He did it because we are at war with the Akatsuki. He did it to protect Konoha _and_ you."

"I should have been there…" The blonde murmured in his shoulder, gritting his teeth as his heart seemed to be burning.

"No, that's wrong…It was a highly risked mission. Jiraiya-sama knew he might not come back. He would never have taken you with him, I am certain of it."

"Why?! Because he thought I couldn't help him?"

Kakashi caressed his hair and rested his cheek on his head.

"Of course not. Because he loved you, idiot."

At these words, Yami Naruto hit Kakashi's chest with both of his fists, growling furiously, his eyes still full of tears which wouldn't fall.

"What's the point of loving and being loved if people eventually disappear? What's the point of being loved so much that the person will die for you? What's the point, Kakashi?!"

Kakashi closed his eyes. Of course, he didn't have an answer to that question. No one had. Yet he had to tell him something, and he had to think carefully about what he was going to say. The world around him kept withering away, and he could feel his last strengths were coming to an end. He kept the blonde's face thoroughly burrowed in his shoulder so he wouldn't see that he was dying slowly.

"I can't give you an answer to that question, Naruto-kun, for everyone has their own. You will have to live, love and lose a lot in order to find your own answer. But I want you to always remember that it's your incredible capacity to love in spite of all the things you went through that made you the exceptional being you are. It's your capacity to love that has that unique power to gather people around you. It's your capacity to love unconditionally that can touch people's souls. Your heart is your greatest strength. Never forget that."

Kakashi could feel his heart beating fast as his chakra was depleting completely. He winced as the pain in his eye started to become unbearable, but he squeezed Yami Naruto tighter.

He had to tell him goodbye.

He raised his eyes to the red sky that was disintegrating like long, lacey veils against the darkness, and he took a deep breath.

"Naruto-kun…When you wake up, I may no longer be there."

He felt Yami Naruto gasp into his shoulder but he kept him trapped in his embrace.

"Let me finish. I may no longer be there, but I want you to remember that it was my own choice. None of this is your fault, and I want you to forgive yourself. I want you to take care of Sakura-chan, of Sai and of all our friends. I want you to forgive your own mistakes, because you are bound to make some. You will not win all your battles, but it will be all right, as long as you try your hardest. I want you to follow your dreams and become the greatest Hokage the world has ever known. I know you can do it."

That was it. The connexion was breaking. They were progressively surrounded by nothingness, as the last remnants of reddish light were dying out slowly.

"This is the last mission I will ever give you, but it's a mission of a lifetime."

On these words, the world collapsed. Soon, the universe was nothing more than a dark and red vortex that sucked both of them up in its core. Kakashi could feel the boy was clutching him with all his strength, and he hugged him back through the vortex so that they would not be separated. It was not long before Kakashi could feel something hard and wet slam into his back.

When he opened his eyes again, they were back in the storm and his vision was blurred by a red cloud.

Through that cloud though, he could see stunningly blue eyes, and he vaguely thought these were the most beautiful blue eyes he had ever seen.

The rain kept pouring heavily on them, but Kakashi was protected by Naruto's frame over him. He could barely hear the thunder that was tearing the dark sky apart, as well as he couldn't feel his arms and legs anymore. However, he could feel the sticky, warm liquid pouring from his closed Sharingan eye, and the atrocious pain that was pounding in his head.

Most of all, he could feel himself being dragged away from the world.

His death was near, and Kakahi kept staring into the magnificient blue eyes, because deep down, he knew it was the most precious thing he wanted to take with him in the afterlife. Those two blue, shining orbs, looking at him with so much emotion, were probably the most beautiful thing that had happened in thirty years of a lonely and violent life that was now coming to its end.

Kakashi had never been afraid of death. On the contrary, he had been seeking it, provoking it for a long time, because he wanted to be reunited with his loved ones.

However this time, for the first time of his life, he did not want to leave.

He knew he had accomplished something: he had saved Naruto from himself, and he had helped him through the core of his own anger and denial. Yet he had also promised him so many times that he would always protect him and accompany him to his dreams. He had promised him that he would always be around to hold him when he cried, to guide him when he was lost. Moreover, he knew Naruto's grieving journey was not finished yet. He had just gone through the darkest realms of rage and resentment, yet now he had to learn how to say goodbye, and Kakashi had intended to be by his side when that time came.

 _Gomen, Naruto-chan…_

 _Gomen…_

The blue eyes were watery and looked panicked. Kakashi wanted to soothe and calm that fear, he wanted to hold Naruto to his chest, he wanted to reassure him as he was so used to do. Yet his arms were not answering anymore. He was fighting only to keep his good eye open so he could dive into the blue immensity when he would depart for the other world.

He smiled feebly while a thunderbolt illuminated Naruto's drenched face. The blonde's lips were moving, and Kakashi could read that he was calling his name, over and over again.

 _I guess I couldn't have dreamt of a better death, after all…_

 _I am leaving this world under loving and caring eyes…_

 _No one has ever looked at me this way…_

 _I am glad I could be your sensei and your friend._

 _You made me a better man._

 _Arigatou, Naruto-chan._

A tear rolled down on his masked cheek, and feeling that he was at the very gates of death, he parted his lips.

Staring at the blue eyes, he let out one, last whisper.

It was the most intense, heartfelt whisper of his life. In that last, short breath, Kakashi poured the immensity of the love he carried in his heart, all that love he wanted to leave to Naruto as a strong, immortal memory of him, so that maybe, just maybe, some part of him would linger on after he was nothing but dust.

"Okaeri, Naruto-chan."


	10. The Sleeping Heart of the Fox

**Chapter Ten: The Sleeping Heart of the Fox**

 ** _Hello everyone :) Yet another short chapter before a longer one. If you want to be in the mood, I recommend you to listen to the OST Maisou (Naruto Shippuden) and the song of Gandalf's death (yes I keep listening to that heart wrenching thing but god it is so inspiring...)_**

 ** _Anyway as always, I truly hope you will like it, thank you for following the story :)_**

"Sensei…"

The rain was pouring so hard it was litterally pinning Naruto down on the ground.

Under him, Kakashi lied completely still.

His clothes were ripped to shreds, and his beautiful hair was spread out in the scattered grass like the battered feathers of a dead bird.

He wasn't breathing anymore.

Utterly exhausted, Naruto crawled on the man and laid his ear on his muscular, unmoving chest.

His heart had stopped beating.

"No…Oh, no…" Naruto breathed out.

His vision was swimming, his head spinning. The rain was harassing, merciless, and the sky was torn apart by violent thunderbolts, illuminating Kakashi's wounded, beaten up shape, contrasting with the silence of his heart. His face was loosely turned on his side, and his entire body seemed to be sinking into the wet ground.

The legendary warrior suddenly looked small, shrunk up, sagged by the hard rain, caved in the immobility of death.

He looked desperately human, ephemeral and vulnerable.

 _Kakashi…_

"What have I done…"

Naruto had hard time thinking, as though he was drifting through a sea of fog. His members felt heavy and numb, and he could see flies dancing in front of his eyes.

His entire body shaking, he fumbled to tear apart the last remains of Kakashi's dark shirt. His white skin seemed paler than usual, and his strong muscles were striated by bloody marks. Naruto put his shivering hands on his heart, and he growled as he focused as hard as he could to summon the last bits of chakra he had.

"Wake up…Sensei…"

His face crunched up in pain, he could feel his hands warming up as small spurts of energy were traverling through his veins. He tried hard to control the stream so that it would stimulate Kakashi's heart and make it start again.

"Come on-ttebayo…"

He tried again and again, but he could feel his chakra reserves had never been so low. He was struggling not to faint, and the vision of Kakashi's impassive, closed eyes was unbearable.

 _It's a nightmare._

"Sensei…Don't do do this…You can't do this to me…"

He rubbed his hands together and put them back on Kakashi's heart, sniffing as his nose started running. The rain made Kakashi's alabaster skin slippery, and Naruto had to focus hard to maintain his hands in place over his heart. He closed his eyes and gathered his spirits to repeat the operation. Yet the energy spurts were getting fainter and fainter, and Kakashi's heart was still not beating.

Heavy tears started to roll on Naruto's cheeks, and his face distorted as the sobs crawled up his throat.

"I already lost Ero-sennin, I can't lose you too! I'm not losing you too! Sensei, oh God…" he yelled in the storm as another thunderbolt exploded in a dazzling light.

Without thinking, he pulled Kakashi's mask down, yet he didn't even think about looking at his face. The childish concerns of a thirteen-year-old boy were far behind him at this instant, as one obsessing thought kept ringing through his foggy, dizzy mind.

 _I have to revive him._

He cradled Kakashi's head in his hand with a tenderness he didn't even realize. He lifted his beloved sensei's bare face to his, and put his shaking lips on the immobile ones. Vaguely, he thought that Kakashi's lips were strangely soft, like a mellow secret hidden under an inpenetrable shield. As he hugged Kakashi's smooth lips in his, Naruto started breathing out slowly like Sakura had taught him. Still unconsciously, he started caressing Kakashi's hair while blowing thoroughly into his lungs. His hand tangled and untangled in the thick pelt now drenched in blood and mud, slowly, carefully, as though every hair was a treasure. His other hand clutched the man's heart and kept letting out small, faint energy streams. Kakashi's mouth was full of blood, but he couldn't care less. He turned his head away to spit it out, and then repeated the operation again…

…and again…

…and again…

As the time was passing by, Naruto's eyes filled with fresh tears that spilled on his cheeks.

 _He isn't waking up._

"Sensei…" he breathed out, holding him tight against him.

Again he took him in his mouth and blew slowly into his lungs, but he started having trouble breathing regularly as his despair was rising and flowing through his veins like a burning poison. He had to release Kakashi's mouth to let out a small sob that was immediately covered by the thunder.

"S-Sensei…!"

He tucked Kakashi's bare face in his neck for an instant, and buried his nose in the damp hair. Hugging him had hard as he could, he breathed deeply and took in Kakashi's scent which seemed to be struggling against the strong smell of blood. His arms tightened around his sensei's muscular body, and he closed his eyes.

"Sensei…"

 _I have never held anyone that way._

 _I want to hold that man._

 _I want to hold him so tight death can't take him away…_

 _Don't take him away from me._

 _Don't take him._

 _Don't take him…_

Feeling he was going to faint, Naruto pulled away and laid Kakashi down on the ground. He pulled his mask back up slowly, carefully, like a relic, as though he was trying to fix a broken toy by putting every piece back together to lift the curse.

"C-come back, K-kakashi-sensei ttebayo, Naruto cried out, please come back…Open your eyes…Just…Yell at me…Insult me…Punch me…But please, do something…"

He put his hands back on Kakashi's chest and let out a small whimper as he could feel his last strengths were leaving him. Indeed after a few minutes, Naruto felt nauseous and he collapsed head first on Kakashi's chest. There, breathing heavily, his cheeks covered in tears, sweat, blood and rain, he nuzzled Kakashi's bare, wet chest with his nose, like a lost puppy clinging to his dead mother, as the icy rain was transpiercing his body right to his bones.

"You said you would guide me to my dream…You said you would always be there for me…"

He clutched Kakashi's rags, and his nails scraped the man's skin.

"Wake up, sensei….I will be good, I promise. I will eat vegetables everyday. I will always do as you say, and never disobey you again. I will never steal your books again. I will cook for you everyday, and I will clean your home... I will do anything…Anything…Please, wake up… Oh, god, wake up…"

The rain was still falling down endlessly, and Naruto hid his face from the dazzling light into Kakashi's still chest, almost expecting the strong arms to come around him and pull him closer, expecting Kakashi's tall hand to tangle in his hair in order to push Naruto's face deeper in his chest in a tender and protective embrace.

Yet now, Kakashi's arms were as still as stone.

"I can't do this alone, Sensei…You have to survive. We will survive together, all right? Together…We have to survive together…Sensei…After everything we lived together, after all the battles we fought side by side…You can't leave now…Not like this…I…"

Another tear fell down his cheek and came to nestle between Kakashi's pectorals, mingling with the narrow stream of blood that was already running there.

"I need you…I need you so much, sensei…Don't go, please. Don't go…" He whispered, his hands still pressed against Kakashi's heart, his lips crushed against his skin.

He needed more chakra.

He needed to save Kakashi, at all costs.

He needed….

"Kyuubi…" Naruto let out in a small sob.

The demon fox was his last chance.

"Kyuubi…Help me…"

His body was shaking so hard he had hard time keeping his hands on Kakashi's heart.

"Kyuubi, I'm sorry…I'm sorry I blocked your way out…I'm sorry…"

A particularly violent flash illuminated the sky, followed by a powerful, crashing sound that seemed to shake the earth itself.

"You can have my body…You can have my soul…You can have everything. But please, please don't let him go."

He could feel himself be dragged further and further away, and he was struggling to stay awake, but he was too exhausted. He wasn't even thinking clearly. All he could see was Jiraiya's beaten up face, and now Kakashi's.

 _This can't be happening again._

The small chakra spurts became more and more irregular, but Naruto kept going.

"Kyuubi…Please…Please…I'm begging you…" Naruto gasped slightly as he closed his eyes, on the verge of fainting, too exhausted to even sob properly.

He kept begging faintly for long, endless minutes, but the demon fox didn't answer.

"Kyuubi…"

Naruto was whispering the fox's name like a prayer, clinging to the crazy hope that maybe, just maybe, Kyuubi would indeed help him. He was now too weak to restrain the demon, thus he knew that the latter was in complete capacity to help him.

Yet Kyuubi remained silent, and Naruto kept emptying his chakra reserves.

He was starting to become delusional. He had to close his eyes, for the world around him seemed to be spinning. He kept clinging to Kakashi, burying his face into the jounin's wet torso, casting smaller and smaller chakra shots into his heart.

He was starting to fade away, yet he didn't care.

He couldn't protect Jiraiya three months ago, and his loss was already unacceptable. Now he had to save Kakashi, even if it would cost him his life, because he was certain that if Kakashi died now, he would not survive himself anyway.

"I love you, sensei…I love you…I love you…I love you…" he chanted in a broken murmur.

 _I love you with all my heart._

That was it. He knew these were his last words. The force dragging him down was just too strong, and the chakra coming out of his hands had almost disappeared. His life was slipping away like a candle struggling in the wind.

What he didn't know was that far within the depths of his mind, an ancestral and lonely creature was watching.

The creature was watching the candle flicker in the storm.

It was listening to the desperate chants.

It was breathing the scent of the harrowing tears.

It was watching the genuine expression of a love so immense it was transpiercing it like a spear.

A love so powerful it made him remember…

"Kyuubi, please…"

Something he used to feel so many centuries ago…

"Kyuubi, help…"

The boy kept calling his name.

"Don't let him go…Don't let my sensei go…Kyuubi…"

An odd feeling started creeping through his hardened and thorny heart, and he tried to push it back down.

The boy had refused his help once. He had shut him deeper in his mind and prevented him from getting out.

 _He gets what he deserves now._

The boy was emptying his chakra reserves at an alarming rate, and Kyuubi knew he was certainly going to die along with him, but the demon fox realized he couldn't care less. His entire life had been nothing but bitterness and loneliness, just an immense waste of time. Death seemed to be an acceptable fate compared to being locked in a cage for eternity.

…

 _But does he really deserve this?_

The demon growled and shook his head. What was happening to him? Was he becoming sentimental after centuries of imprisonment by human kind? Was he falling for a human? For one of these flawed, rotten creatures that stamped the Rikudou Sennin's teachings? For one of these parasites which sought nothing but might and blood? For one of these abominations which had been chasing and torturing and exploiting and imprisoning him and his kind for centuries?

 _Uzumaki Naruto is different._

Suddenly, Kyuubi found himself taken back many centuries ago, as he was the young Kurama, sitting among his brothers and sisters and listening to the last words of his father and creator, Hagoromo Outsutsuki. His immense, almond-shaped eyes full of tears, he had listened carefully as the Rikudou Sennin promised them that one day, they would be reunited again. He had promised that one day, one specific human would come and know all their names. That human would love them and accept them as true parts of him, and they would be one again.

 _Could Naruto be that human?_

Centuries later, sealed behind a gigantic iron gate, the lonely, bitter Kurama was observing the harrowing scene of a young, blonde boy clutching the cold body of a man he loved so much he was ready to abandon his soul and his dreams for him.

The power of that love almost frightened Kurama.

It was so pure, so raw, so unconditional that the demon fox couldn't believe it came from a human. Along his lonely years, Kurama had seen the darkest recesses of the human soul, he had seen the unconceivable horrors which only that cursed, sick and savage species could commit. As a result, he had learned how to manipulate humans by playing with their darkest pulsions. He had learned which strings to pull to shed blood, to destroy, to kill and to rape. He had manipulated Naruto the same way, yet Hatake Kakashi had called out to the blonde, and he had saved him with the sole power of his love for him.

 _Mattaku. This is way too fluffy for me. The power of love is nothing but fiction._

Yet there, under the hard, icy rain, there was a boy whose soul was as clear and pure as the brightest crystal. There was a boy whose love for his sensei was going way deeper than he realized himself at that time.

 _It's your capacity to love that has that unique power to gather people around you. It's your capacity to love unconditionally that can touch people's souls. Your heart is your greatest strength._

Deep down, Kurama had been troubled by Kakashi's words, because he felt they were so true.

Again, Kyuubi shook his head, growling fiercely and trying to shut his longtime slient heart away. Yet he couldn't deny the feeling of comfort provided by that tiny, tiny nut of warmth that bloody boy had progressively shoved right into his heart. It was a tiny, tiny sparkle, but it was there nonetheless. It was that tiny, tiny sparkle that had always pushed Kurama to watch over that loud and annoying child. It was that tiny, tiny twinkle that had pushed him to talk to Naruto when both of them felt particularly lonely, even though it had mostly been to argue or mock him.

Hatake Kakashi was right. Somehow, Naruto had touched Kurama's longtime dead heart, as he had touched Kakashi's. Along the years, Kurama had every opportunity to observe the silver-haired man. He had felt Kakashi's inner, sombre heart as soon as Naruto had met him, so much that he had felt shivers running along his spine the first time the Copy-ninja had looked into Naruto's blue eyes. He had almost smelled the scent of blood that was drenching the silver-haired ninja's hands, and heard the chiling screams of throats being opened in a swift, merciless move. He had heard the ghosts howling his name, and seen the terrified eyes illuminated by lightening sparks and fading out in the sound of a thousand white birds, under the hard look of a single red eye.

Actually, he had hated Hatake Kakashi immediately.

Yet as the years had gone by, Kurama had felt a change in Kakashi's heart. He had felt it become lighter and happier, as though some light had been progressively dispersing the heavy, threatening clouds that were swallowing it in a tortured storm of anger, sorrow and loneliness.

 _Like a tiny, tiny nut of warmth._

As Naruto kept calling his name feebly, his face buried in Kakashi's dead chest, Kurama suddenly realized that he had a lot in common with that silver-haired man that was now lying on his back like a dismantled doll. He, too, had been alone for the greatest part of his life. He, too, had felt the burning desire for vengeance. He, too, had wanted blood and violence to discharge the immense pain that was eating his soul away.

And it made him change his mind about that man.

For the first time, Kurama realized that actually, his own suffering had made him share a lot of features with the very species responsible for his misery. When he watched Naruto, he told himself that maybe that boy was the answer to that vicious, eternal circle. For that matter, Naruto, too, had been rejected and hated for his entire life. Yet contrary to Kakashi and Kurama, he had immediately had the strength to forgive the ones who had hated him for so long. He had immediately had that purity of heart and soul that had always pushed him to love rather than to hate. The best proof of that was that even when his own dark side, which he had been repelling for his entire life, had finally got out, Kakashi had stopped it by reminding it that it, too, was loved, and that it had to forgive in order to move forward.

Again, Naruto had chosen love rather than hate.

Yes…Maybe Naruto was the answer. Maybe that Jiraiya kid was right, and Naruto would lead the way to a new era, where people would better understand themselves and learn to accept, love and forgive.

He couldn't let him die, no more than he could let Shiroi Kiba's son wither away. Kurama would never admit it completely, but the tremendous power of the feelings that linked Naruto and Kakashi's souls touched him deeply. It made him remember who he used to be, and what his creator had taught him. It made him remember that he had been created by a loving, peaceful man whose only fault had been to die way too soon to guide humanity.

Maybe Naruto was the one who would one day make up for that fault, but Kurama knew that he needed Hatake Kakashi by his side. Kakashi was his friend, his guide and his family, and to Kakashi, Naruto represented a new beginning. Deep down, Kurama felt privileged, because he knew he was the only one who could see, for now, the presages of a formidable adventure that would cause these two souls to go beyond themselves. For the first time of his long, lonely life, Kurama could see the essence of two interlocked souls that already belonged to each other forever, though none of them knew it yet.

For the first time since an eternity, another sparkle woke up in Kurama's heart, a sparkle that ended up convincing the fox to save both Naruto and Kakashi's lives.

Hope.

That is how, as Naruto was fading away softly, he thought he heard a shallow, deep growl, somewhere inside his mind. When he felt a powerful warmth flood in his hands, he feebly opened an eye to see a blinding, orange light that seemed to be embracing both Kakashi and him. He could hear neither the rain nor the thunder anymore. He let himself be rocked gently by that comforting, powerful light, thinking it might be death coming to take him away.

Maybe it would take him to Kakashi and Jiraiya…

Maybe it would take him to his parents…

Maybe at last, they would be all reunited for ever.

Just before he slipped into unconsciousness, he tightened his hold on Kakashi. As his cheek was pressed tightly against Kakashi's chest, a last thought drifted through his mind like a feather carried away by the wind, as he finally heard something.

 _Kakashi's heart is beating again._

A small smile appeared on his face, and in a last breath…

…he let go.


	11. Farewell

_**Daijoubu =**_ _It's all right_

 _ **Mou, daijoubu da yo =**_ _Everything is fine now_

 _ **Hisashiburi da no =**_ _It's been a long time / Long time no see_

 _ **Fuzakenna! =**_ _Are you kidding me?/ Stop kidding around with me!_

 _ **Tadaima =**_ _I'm back_

 _ **Konbanwa**_ _= Good evening_

 _ **Yare yare**_ _= Well, well!_

 _ **Ochitsuke**_ _= Calm down_

 _ **Baka kuso gaki**_ _= Fucking stupid kid_

 **Chapter 11- Farewell**

When Naruto opened his eyes a bright, white light welcomed him. Temporarily blinded, he closed his eyes and put his hand in front of them, growling slightly. Vaguely, he thought that his head hurt.

 _Am I dead?_

Slowly, blinking rapidly, his blue eyes adapted to the blazing light, and he turned his head in order to scan his surroundings.

He was in a hospital bed.

Looking around him, slightly dizzy, he recognized one of the rooms of the hospital of Konoha. The walls were painted in a light blue shade, and there was a discrete banner hanging behind the door. Beside him, on the table, was a beautiful bouquet of pink and blue flowers that were drinking the rays of the sun.

As he was contemplating the flowers, a sudden, horrible thought came to his mind.

 _Where is Kakashi?_

His heart constricted painfully as the images of a battered, dead Kakashi drifted through his mind like needles piercing his nerves. Even though he felt groggy and exhausted, he struggled in the sheets to get out of the bed. Of course, his legs abandoned him and he crashed on the floor, his nose slamming on the hard, white tiles.

"Itte-te-te-te…!" Naruto groaned, massaging his nose.

He got up on his feet and ran to the door, zigzagging on the way. When he got out into the corridor, he couldn't see anyone.

"I have a bad feeling about this …" Naruto whispered, his heart tightening again as fear was crawling up his veins.

Leaning on the wall from time to time, Naruto walked down the corridor, stopping in front of each door to look inside.

Yet he couldn't find him.

 _His heart…_

 _I know I heard his heart beating just before I…_

Naruto was clinging to that idea as hard as he could. He had trouble remembering everything that had happened after Kakashi had freed him from the mangekyô, but that, he remembered clearly.

That was the last sound he had heard, and it was precisely because finally he had heard it that he had let himself go.

He opened another door and growled in frustration when he found out that again, Kakashi wasn't the patient in the bed.

As he kept going, Naruto's fear kept rising.

 _Was it a hallucination? Or was it merely my own blood pounding in my ears?!_

 _No…No…I can't believe this._

 _Kakashi can't be dea…_

He stopped right in his tracks after opening the ninth door of the corridor.

There, in the bed, a tall man was lying still.

The lower part of his face was covered by a dark mask that ended in the middle of his neck. His bare torso was bandaged, and Naruto could see his chest rising and falling peacefully.

"Sensei!" Naruto breathed out, so relieved he thought he was going to cry.

He rushed towards the bed and laid his cheek on Kakashi's heart.

He closed his eyes as he could finally hear a slow, regular rhythm, and he let out a long sigh.

 _Kakashi is safe._

He raised his head again, and he had to cling to the bed to avoid falling down on the floor, as the adrenaline left his veins to be replaced by torpor and dizziness. He was suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue that crushed him down, yet he didn't want to leave Kakashi. He didn't want to leave the room, he just wanted to see Kakashi, to watch him sleep and to listen to him breathe.

He had almost lost him forever, and he had realized he wanted to cherish every second spent with that man.

Thus, without fully realizing what he was doing, Naruto climbed on the bed as silently as he could. Slowly, taking as much precaution as he could, he pushed the man's body slightly towards the wall so he could nestle next to him without crushing him by lying down on top of him. As a matter of fact, he found himself with his rear half over the edge of the bed, but he couldn't care less. Right now, there was nothing more important to his eyes than lying as close to Kakashi as he could. He just rested his cheek back on Kakashi's chest, and closed his eyes again. There, he just enjoyed the feeling of Kakashi's scars under his cheek, and the sound of his heart that started lulling him back to sleep. He smelled of hospital and antiseptics, but it still was Kakashi. His heart clenching again at the idea that he had almost lost him, Naruto wrapped an arm around the man's torso and drew himself closer again. He dragged his head slightly up so that he could feel Kakashi's jaw resting in his hair, and he buried his nose into the hollow of his collarbone, trying to catch that familiar scent that always soothed him.

 _There it is._

Among the cold, clinical scent, Kakashi's smell was there, and Naruto pressed his nose further in his skin so that he could breathe it better. He closed his eyes and let his brain fill with all the memories they shared together. He conjured the laughs, the arguments, the cries and the hugs. He conjured up Kakashi's serious, concentrated face on the battlefield, always keeping his head cool and giving precise orders. He thought about his soft, crinkled smile and about the way he had to ruffle Naruto's hair affectionately.

"Thank you, Kyuubi." Naruto whispered silently, his heart carried out by a strong emotion.

In his mind, the demon fox opened an eye and grunted.

"I have no idea what the hell you are talking about. Now let me sleep, kuso gaki."

Naruto smiled and tried to answer, but he could feel himself fall asleep as his entire body was sagging against Kakashi's. Soon, he was snoring softly, his nose buried in Kakashi's collarbone, his lips squashed against the birth of his pectorals.

Later during the night, Kakashi woke up and groaned, feeling a weight on his chest. He lowered his head, and his eyes widened as they discerned a patch of bright hair shining feebly in the moonlight. His nose suddenly got overwhelmed by Naruto's scent, and his heart flooded with a profound feeling of tenderness.

 _Naruto has come to nestle against me on his own._

When he realized that half of Naruto's body was hanging over the edge of the bed, he chuckled fondly. He rose slightly on his hands, wincing as his entire body protested. He turned on his side and lied back down so he could face Naruto, and he coiled further back against the wall, grabbing Naruto's shoulders and yanking him against him. He buried the blonde's face in his chest, and soon he felt that the boy was shaking. He frowned and got the sheets off of himself to wrap them tightly around Naruto. When he was done, he tucked Naruto's face back in his chest and swallowed him in his powerful arms, squashing him tight against him.

"Shhh…" He whispered.

He kissed his head through the mask and tangled his fingers into the blonde hair. Naruto whimpered slightly in his chest.

"I…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…"

Kakashi closed his eyes and tightened the circle of his arms around Naruto. He adjusted the blonde's head so that his nose was tucked deep into his naked chest, in order to let him smell his scent, and he pressed his face further and further in his strong muscles.

"It's okay, Naruto-chan…I'm here. I'm right here and I've got you in my arms…" He whispered in his ear.

He rubbed soothing circles into the blonde's back, his long hands wandering on the white sheets.

"Shhh…Shhhh….Shhhh…"

He buried his face in the blonde hair and sighed.

"Daijoubu…Mou, daijoubu da yo…Shhh…" he murmured again.

He squeezed him tightly and tenderly for a long time, falling silent, just focusing on hugging the boy as protectively as he could. Then he sighed again and kissed Naruto's hair once more.

"Tadaima…I'm not leaving you again…" he whispered.

Naruto let out a long, deep sigh, and his soft snore rose up again. Kakashi smiled tenderly. He rested his cheek on Naruto's head and took a deep breath. He clang to him, savouring the feeling of the boy's face pressed against his heart. He had definitely thought he was never going to be able to hold him again, and even though he still didn't understand how he had survived, his instinct told him that Naruto had something to do with this. He was certain that Naruto had saved his life somehow.

 _Arigatou, Naruto._

His thoughts started becoming less and less logical, and while he squeezed Naruto tight to his chest so that nothing could take him away from his arms, he let himself drift back to sleep.

A few days went by during which Kakashi and Naruto slept a lot. Their friends, who had healed faster, often came to visit them, especially Sai who spent the entire day at the hospital, as he wanted to stay with Sakura who was still kept under intense observation. After Naruto had been found in Kakashi's arms on the morning, however, the nurses had made sure he didn't get out of his room in the middle of the night, so they couldn't see each other for several days. As a result, as soon as Kakashi was allowed to go home, the first thing he did before getting out of this place he hated was to go straight to Naruto's room. He knocked softly, and when he didn't get any answer, he opened the door slightly and passed his silver-haired head into the room. The blonde was sleeping soundly, and Kakashi just sat next to him for a moment, wandering his hand on his forehead and into his hair. Then he got up, laid a gentle kiss on his golden hair, made sure he was well tucked in, and got out of the room. Once in the corridor, he started searching for Sakura.

During his convalescence, he had been asking the nurses about her health, and he had been informed that she had been in a pretty bad state. Indeed, in addition to have been fighting hard with Yami Naruto's powerful clones, she had used a huge amount of chakra to heal her friends. As a result, Kakashi had been particularly worried for her, and he wanted to see her before going home. As a nurse walked down the corridor, Kakashi asked her where was Sakura's room. She informed him that she was on the upper floor. Kakashi thanked her and followed her instructions and looked for the room number 306. When he found it, he knocked softly, and Sai came to open the door. When he saw Kakashi, his stoic face lightened and he had a sincere smile.

"Oh, Kakashi-san! So they let you out?"

Kakashi smiled back.

"Hai, just today. How is Sakura? Do you mind if I see her?"

"She's getting better I think. Of course, come in, sensei."

He stepped aside so that Kakashi could enter the room. Sakura groaned in the bed, and she blinked slightly, turning her head towards the door and rubbing her eyes. When she saw Kakashi, her green eyes widened until they became huge balls.

"Kakashi-sensei!"

"Yo, Sakura-chan."

The young woman started fumbling into her sheets, trying to get up so she could throw herself in Kakashi's arms. Understanding her intent, Kakashi rushed forward and stopped her from getting up.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy there…You stay right here in that bed, Sakura, allri-OOF!"

He couldn't finish his sentence, as Sakura had flung her arms around Kakashi's waist and crashed her face into his chest as she burst into tears.

"Oh, Kakashi-senseiiiheeeheeeheeeheee…." She wailed in his chest.

Kakashi had a fond smile, and he engulfed her shaking shape into a powerful and protective embrace. He pushed her face further in his chest with his hand tangling in her pink, messy hair, and started rocking her back and forth.

"Shhh…There…There…Easy, my sweet Sakura, easy…"

Sakura's entire body was shaking under loud, most inelegant sobs, and Kakashi rubbed her back soothingly while shushing her tenderly.

"I…I was s-so scared! Wh-when w-we f-found you by th-the river…W-with N-Naruto…I-I th-I thought you w-were…"

Kakashi kissed her hair and crushed her face further in his chest so she couldn't speak.

"Maaaa… It's all right now, Sakura-chan. Naruto and I are both fine. It's over now…Shhh, don't cry anymore, sweetheart. I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere, all right?"

As he was holding her and rocking her tenderly against his chest, Sai observed him carefully. Very often during the earlier days, Sakura had woken up panicked, calling Kakashi and Naruto's name. Sai, who had never left her side, had done his best to calm her down, but he hadn't known how to actually hug her. He had just held her hand and caressed her hair while shushing her softly, and that already had been extremely new to him. Yet everytime he watched Sakura, he wanted to do something more. He didn't know why, but he wanted to be close to her, he wanted to do something, but he didn't know what. Now that he observed Kakashi, he suddenly understood. So he watched. He watched as a painter, how Kakashi's arms were forming a circle around Sakura's body, how his hand disappeared in her hair while it forced her face down into his broad, muscular chest. He observed how Sakura's head disappeared into his chest, and the angle of Kakashi's jaw as it rested in Sakura's hair. His brain recorded everything and he told himself that one day, him, too, would be able to hold Sakura this way.

After leaving Sakura in Sai's care, Kakashi finally left the hospital and went straight back home. There, he had a long, boiling shower, and he couldn't help letting out a deep sigh as he had been dreaming of that moment since he had woken up in his hospital bed. He let the warmth seep all the way to his bones, and closed his eyes, thinking about his beloved students that were still kept into that white-tiled prison. At least they were now out of danger, and Kakashi sighed again as he wrapped his arms around his strong chest, causing his pectorals to flex and swell under the hot water which rushed into the valley between them.

Soon, his thoughts wandered to Naruto, and he tried to go over the events.

Kakashi had succeeded in getting past Naruto's barrier of hate and anger by confronting him within his own mind and making him remember that no matter what, he was loved, and that he was not responsible for Jiraiya's death. He knew that Yami Naruto was still somewhere within Naruto, and that one day the blonde might have to deal with him again, but for now, Kakashi was confident in the fact that he had succeeded in appeasing the devastating rage that was eating Naruto away. He had made him realize that in fact, that devastating rage was growing exponentially as it was in fact addressed to Naruto himself. The fact that Naruto had saved his life and that he had come to nestle into his arms the other night proved that Naruto had come back to himself. Yet Kakashi knew that the journey was not over. Indeed, after the anger and denial, the last step was the most difficult…

…and it was acceptance.

Kakashi sighed as he poured some shower gel into his palm. He knew that accepting to let someone go was so hard it could take up to an entire life. Kakashi himself had never recovered from the loss of his loved ones, and it was almost ten years ago. Yet, right from the start, he had felt it was his duty to help Naruto through that particularly difficult ordeal, and he had truly feared he would not be able to keep his promise when he had been drifting away back on the river bank. Yet Naruto had saved his life, and Kakashi was determined in accompanying him all the way.

He had to help him say goodbye.

When he was done washing himself, Kakashi got out of the shower, dried himself and put on fresh boxers. He brushed his teeth, shaved himself, and then went to his bedroom where he crashed on his bed. He remained there for a long time, lost in his thoughts, before he eventually fell asleep.

Three days later was a bright, beautiful day.

It was almost too bright for the circumstances. Though the air was chilly, the wind was light and the sky was of the purest blue. It was as though the weather itself had made a mistake, like an actress dressing up superbly and making a magnificient entrance but on the wrong scene. The sun was casting its golden, happy rays on the heavy shoulders of sad, dressed all in black silhouettes gathered around a large, stone coffin, for Konoha was mourning that day.

Naruto was standing on the first row, leaning on a crutch, his back straight, his blue eyes staring at the sculpted coffin that was ready to be put to rest forever under the cold, dark earth. Kakashi was standing close to him, with an arm wrapped around his shoulders to help him stand. On his other side, Sakura, too, was leaning on a crutch, with Sai next to her. Shikamaru was standing behind Naruto, his face solemn and sad.

Naruto couldn't get his eyes off the coffin. It was made of the strongest stone, yet it was carved in beautiful sculptures and decorations. It was an alliance of strength and fantasy, of solemnity and frivolity.

It fitted Jiraiya perfectly.

The man had been a pillar of strength in Naruto's life, yet the carvings reflected Jiraya's colourful personality with so much accuracy. The picture of Jiraiya, framed and laid on top of the coffin, was showing a happy man with long, white hair, and red markings on his face. That picture had been taken within the instant of a bark of laughter, and Naruto could almost see the tears springing out of the wrinkled eyes. It had been ephemeral, yet now it was an instant that had been frozen in time, like the memories Naruto had of his shishou. The man had left him with a simple smile, as though he was just going to see him again on the next day.

Had he known, at the time?

Naruto winced, and he lowered his head to the ground. Beside him, Kakashi turned his head and frowned.

"Naruto?" he asked in a gentle voice.

"I…I'm fine, sensei." Naruto whispered back in a dead voice.

Kakashi observed him for a time, but he didn't answer. Instead, he tightened his arm around him and clutched his shoulder, in order to let him know that he was there. Then Tsunade went forth, and she came to stand beside the coffin. Her long, black dress hugged her voluptuous shapes perfectly, and she looked magnificient. Only her grief-stricken face betrayed her sorrow, for her features were tired and gaunt, her eyes were red, and her hair seemed to have lost a bit of their shining gold shade. She stood for a couple of minutes beside the coffin, not saying anything.

Then at last, she started speaking.

"Forty years ago, as we were training together in the forest, Jiraiya told me that he wanted his funeral to be a party where people would drink, eat and make love on his tomb."

There was a tense silence in the crowd.

"I broke his nose for the first time that day…" Tsunade said with a tender smile, caressing the coffin with a hand full of regrets.

The slight breeze came to taunt the candles that were standing on the coffin, making the flames dance and flicker.

"Yet I understand now how that simple sentence reflected his very soul. The soul of a man who was so desperately dedicated to life, to love and to peace, that his entire life looks like a flawed, comic and colorful pilgrimage, like a parody of himself. He was probably the greatest pervert the shinobi world has ever known, yet he was also its greatest lover and protector. Jiraiya never, ever stopped loving humanity in its entirety. He never gave up his dream that someday, people would understand and love each other."

She had a moment of pause, and Naruto could feel as though his heart was slowly crumbling into his chest. In addition to feel horribly guilty for ignoring Tsunade's genuine pain, he could also feel as though he was completely empty. He had been clinging so hard to his anger, so hard he had almost killed one of his best friends. Yet now that Kakashi had saved him from himself, there seemed to be nothing left. Naruto felt as though his entire being was nothing else but a devastated battleground.

He wanted to cry.

He wanted to cry so hard…

…yet he couldn't shed a tear.

"Although he died at sixty years old, Jiraiya always cherished and preserved the child that lived within his soul. I believe it is precisely because he remained a child at heart that he could see hope and love where we all saw hate and ambition. It was that part of him that had him fight darkness all his life, and that had him laugh in the face of death itself. "

Tsunade bowed her head, and her face contorted under the emotion that flooded her heart.

"Jiraiya was a strong shinobi and a very precious friend. He would have made much a better Hokage than me, because he was the embodiement of what the will of Fire shines to protect: Konoha's youth."

A tear shone on her cheek as it dropped from her tired eye, and she pressed her hand to the cold stone.

"I will miss you, Jiraiya, for the rest of my life."

She took a step back, and nodded towards the group of muscular men who were standing ready to put the coffin into the tomb. As they lifted the heavy stone, Naruto watched the scene as though he was seeing it through the eyes of someone else.

They were carrying Jiraiya's body into the cold, dark earth, for the rest of eternity.

It was happening right in front of his eyes.

And yet he couldn't cry.

Something deep within himself seemed to be blocking his tears. Something within him kept fighting again, even after the anger and the hartred, and Naruto was tired of fighting. He was so tired. He felt his legs shake, and behind him, Shikamaru laid a comforting hand on his back.

"You okay, Naruto?"

Kakashi wrapped his arm tighter around his shoulders and squeezed him against his strong frame.

"Hai…Don't worry about me…"

Kakashi and Shikamaru exchanged a worried glance.

Soon, the ceremony ended, and the crowd started scattering. Tsunade came towards Naruto, and she gave him a warm, sad smile which broke Naruto's heart.

"Baa-chan, I…" he started.

Yet he couldn't finish his sentence, as Tsunade had wrapped him up into a strong embrace, burying her face into his shoulder.

"It's okay, Naruto-chan. We'll get through this together, all right?" she whispered, her voice full of tears.

Naruto couldn't answer. His throat was so tight it hurt.

"You know you can cry sweetheart, don't you? You don't need to look strong. Everybody needs to cry sometimes. Wakatta?"

Naruto winced, and he wrapped his free arm around Tsunade's back, squeezing her tightly against him and resting his chin on her shoulder.

He wanted to scream, to scream so hard his throat would burn. He wanted to cry, at last, he wanted to discharge all his pain while he was surrounded by his friends. Yet, curiously, he didn't know how, which was completely illogical as he had cried his eyes out when he had thought he had killed Kakashi.

 _Why the Hell can't I cry now?! Have I spent all my tears?_

Finally, Tsunade let go of him. She smiled again.

"I'll leave you now. You must need some time alone with Jiraiya. Sai, Shikamaru, help me take Sakura back to her room, will you?" she said with a gentle voice.

Before they left, Sakura stood on her tiptoes and laid a small kiss on Naruto's cheek. Then she bowed her head sadly and turned towards Sai and Shikamaru who helped her walk back towards the hospital.

Soon, Kakashi and Naruto were alone in front of the stone.

None of them said a word for a long time.

Kakashi was just holding Naruto to him, and he could feel that the boy was immensely troubled, but it was a different sort of torment.

He couldn't feel any violence anymore.

No more rage, no more resentment.

Only an immense ocean of pain that Naruto didn't seem to know how to pour.

It felt as though the boy was too exhausted to grieve properly, and Kakashi felt his own heart break in pieces.

"Naruto-chan, would you like me to leave you alone with Jiraiya?" he asked gently.

Naruto shook his head and turned on his heels.

"Take me back to my room, Kakashi-sensei, please."

Kakashi's eyes widened slightly, but then his face saddened.

 _That's what I thought…You don't know how to say goodbye, right, Naruto?_

"Wakatta…" Kakashi whispered.

When they arrived in Naruto's room, Kakashi supported Naruto with one arm, and took the crutch out of his hand with his other arm. He leaned it to the wall, and then he lifted Naruto into his arms to put him back in bed. Yet before laying him down under the sheets, Kakashi buried the blonde's face into his shoulder, closed his eyes and hugged him fiercely. He hugged him for quite a long time, swaying softly from left to right, rocking him in a comforting motion. Then he whispered in his ear.

"When you are ready, Naruto, remember that I am here. I will be there to help you through this. So please, please Naruto…Come to me. Come to me when you are ready."

Naruto didn't say anything, but he breathed deeply in Kakashi's scent, burying his face in the man's hair. Kakashi could feel that the boy's throat was way too tight to utter a single word. Thus, without any other word, he leaned forward and put Naruto into the bed. He tucked him under the sheets, and ruffled his hair slowly, tenderly. Naruto turned towards the wall and curled up on himself. Again, Kakashi was overwhelmed by a strong desire to lie down next to him and hug him until the boy fell asleep.

"Would you like me to stay here with you?" Kakashi asked gently.

"No thank you, I'm fine sensei…Don't worry about me."

Kakashi's face tinted with sorrow at the sound of Naruto's incredibly sad voice, but he respected his will.

"Ma, I'll go check on Sakura-chan then. Just call me if you need anything, wakatta, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto closed his eyes.

"Hai…Thank you, Kakashi-sensei…" he murmured.

Kakashi sighed, and then he turned on his heels and closed the door behind him, leaving Naruto alone with his sorrow.

The blonde almost found it hard to breathe.

One inspiration, then the next…

It was as though he had to make an effort to lift his lungs.

A part of him wished Kakashi had stayed with him to hold him in his arms. That part of him would have given anything, at that particular moment, to be able to bury his face deep into Kakashi's warm chest while the man would hold and shush him as he did so well. Yet he thought he was being egoist. After all, the man had already died for him, he had taken care of him relentlessly for entire months. Naruto thought he should give him a break, let the man rest, and deal with his own problems alone.

 _But maybe he could help me cry._

Exhausted, drained and immensely sad, Naruto quickly fell into a liberating sleep.

He could feel his head being lifted up and down slowly, slightly, as something swelled under his face. He could hear a soft breathing, and his body was engulfed in a warm, strong embrace. When Naruto opened an eye, he recognized the smell of the body that held him so tight.

"Kakashi-sensei…" he whispered.

He raised his face from Kakashi's chest and looked at him. Kakashi's hair was spread around his head, and it seemed to be made of pure silver, as it as shining beautifully under the sunlight. Without even realizing what he was doing, Naruto reached out and delicately took one of the glimmering strands between his fingers. It was thick and slightly coarse, like the pelt of a wolf. His mind drifting away, Naruto extended his hand further and laid it down on Kakashi's forehead. There, he caressed it very slowly with his thumb. Kakashi's face was peaceful. His long, slender eyes were closed, and his eyelashes were brushing his cheeks, casting a feeble, bluish shadow under his eyelids. Absent-mindedly, Naruto followed the long scar that was deeply carved like a neat brushstroke from his left eye to somewhere under the sheet that was covering the lower part of his face. He vaguely remembered that he had pulled Kakashi's mask down to give him mouth-to-mouth, back on that terrible day, yet no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't recall what his face looked like. He had been so panicked and exhausted that his absolute priority had been to save his life. Likewise, the first time he had come to Kakashi's hospital room, he had been so relieved to find him alive that he had just collapsed on him, focusing on his smell and falling asleep almost immediately.

Yet now, the curiosity he had held for so many years had come back again.

 _What does he look like?_

Slowly, following the line of the scar, Naruto's thumb started repelling the sheet.

 _Is he handsome?_

Slowly, Kakashi's lower cheek appeared…

 _The scar is going down so far…_

His heart beating, Naruto kept pulling the sheet down…

 _Where does it stop?_

"Mattaku. Do I have perverted you so much that now you want to undress that poor kid?" A strong, hearty voice sounded behind him.

Naruto's heart stopped and dropped like a stone in his chest.

His eyes widened so much that they threatened to pop out of their sockets.

 _That voice…_

Slowly, very slowly, Naruto turned around, almost scared to see who was standing behind him.

 _That voice is so unique I could recognize it anywhere._

He knew very well who was standing behind him.

His eyes set on a tall, broad-shouldered silhouette drowned in a cascade of magnificient, white hair. The two fatherly, benevolent eyes that were looking at him were stressed out by red strokes that were going down towards a pair of lips that were stretched in a soft, characteristic smile.

A very characteristic smile.

"Hisashiburi da no, Naruto." Jiraiya whispered, leaning against the wall, his muscular arms crossed.

For a moment that seemed to last for years, Naruto remained completely still, as though he had just been striken by thunder. He was looking at that man who had never left his thoughts for three months with an expression of utter amazement, his mouth wide open.

Jiraiya had a small chuckle and opened his arms wide.

"Don't I get a hug or something?"

Before his brain could send any message to the rest of his body, Naruto's legs moved on their own, and he dashed to Jiraiya. He crashed so hard into the man's massive chest that they went right through the door and collapsed into the corridor together.

"OOF!" Jiraiya gasped as his breath got cut by Naruto's incredibly tight embrace around his waist.

Naruto buried his face into Jiraiya's robes, but he couldn't utter a sound. His throat was so tight it hurt him, and his eyes were burning with tears. Jiraiya seemed to feel his emotion, for his expression softened in pain and he wrapped his arms around the boy, as both of them were sitting right in the middle of the corridor. There, he hugged him so tight Naruto disappeared in his muscular embrace.

"Konbanwa, Naruto…", he whispered.

"Ero…sennin…" Naruto answered in a broken murmur.

"Yare yare! You made a hell of a mess down here you know that? Mattaku. That idiot Kakashi worked his ass off so much he almost got himself killed."

"I'm so sorry, Ero-sennin…I'm so sorry for everything I did…I…I just…"

His voice died in his throat, and all he could do was burrow further into Jiraiya's broad chest as the man was patting his hair comfortingly while hugging him in a bone-crushing embrace.

"Theeere, there...Ochitsuke…That's all right, don't you start covering my clothes in snot all right? How am I supposed to seduce the ladies up there if I look like I've just been shoved in a bathtub?"

Before he could help it, Naruto burst out laughing, and Jiraiya followed him, throwing his head backwards and opening his mouth wide in a loud, thundering laugh. They laughed together for several blessed minutes, and then Naruto let out a long sigh.

"This is a dream, right, Ero-sennin?"

"Well…Obviously, Naruto-kun. And knowing your fear of ghosts, I think it's better that I appear to you like this than all gloomy and green, don't you think?"

Naruto didn't answer and Jiraiya had a sigh.

"All right listen here, kid, for I don't have much time. First, I know that Kakashi-kun has already told you that back there, but I want to be certain it sank into that baka head of yours: I did not die because of you, Naruto. I knew that I had only few chances to come back from there alive."

Naruto raised large, sad eyes to his shishou.

"So why, _why_ did you go, Ero-sennin?"

Jiraiya smiled sadly and ruffled his hair.

"Because it was my mission, brat-chan…Tsunade tried to convince me not to do it, but I was the only one capable of undertaking such a mission. Remember what the Hatake kid told you: I did not do it only for you, but also for Konoha and the five nations. You know how much I want to believe in a better future, and I wanted to leave this world while doing something significant to that purpose."

Naruto lowered his head. Kakashi had indeed succeeded in easing the guilt that had been smothering him so much. Yet now, he felt emptier than ever. He felt there was still something creeping in the deepest realms of his heart, and he didn't understand why he felt so bad.

"It's not the same anymore since you're no longer there. I…"

He had to gulp, as his voice had got stuck in his throat.

"I miss you a lot, Ero-sennin." He whispered.

Jiraiya's face saddened again.

"Yare, yare…Get in here, you idiot." He said while pulling Naruto back in his arms.

Naruto took a deep, shuddering breath. Jiraiya still had the same scent as always, a mixture of strong cologne he used to seduce women, and of earth and water.

"Listen, Naruto-chan. I'm here now because I can feel that you keep pushing your feelings down inside of you. You are still afraid to let them out."

Naruto shot his head up again.

"But I did let them out! I nearly killed Kakashi-sensei for crying out loud! I did let them out, so why the hell do I still feel so bad? Why the hell do I feel so empty? Why the hell can't I even cry, Ero-sennin? I feel…I feel like my heart is made of stone suddenly, as though I was incapable of feeling anything anymore…"

"Shhhh, easy, kid, easy…", Jiraiya soothed, caressing his hair.

"Why the hell can't I cry for you whereas I cried for Kakashi-sensei just one week ago? Whereas I cried when I saw your body? I'm tired, Ero-sennin…I just want to…I want to just let the pain out but…But I can't…"

"Naruto. Come here."

Jiraiya pulled Naruto back into him and he remained silent for a short time, just squeezing Naruto tight to him and rocking him gently like a child. Then he started speaking again.

"You cried for Kakashi because you were panicked and terrified. You believed you had lost him, and you realized how important he was for you. You cried when you saw my body because you felt responsible for what had happened to me, and because it was the moment you fully realized that I was not going to come back again. And remember, it is precisely at this moment, when you cried, when you started letting your pain out, that your anger took over you. Now Kakashi has indeed liberated you from that anger, but there's still one step you have to take, and it's not an easy one. Actually, it is the step you have been dreading since it all started. It's the step you have been starting to take when you saw my body, and when you resorted to anger in order to stop the process. The fear of that step is the reason why you are unconsciously doing everything you can to detach yourself from your own emotions. But now, the time has come to continue what you have started, back when you saw my body. The time has come for you to go through with the final step."

"What is that step?" Naruto murmured, afraid to hear the answer.

Jiraiya sighed deeply.

"You have to say goodbye, Naruto-chan."

Naruto felt his heart burn with horrible pain, and he crammed his face into Jiraiya's chest, wrapping his arms tighter around his large waist.

"No…NO…I…I don't want to…I can't let you go, Ero-sennin…I…"

Jiraiya closed his eyes painfully.

"Now, now, listen up kid…You are waking up and I'll have to leave you shortly. I know this is hard, all right? Actually, that is going to be one of the hardest things you will ever have to do in your life. Yet going through your first loss is important for you to accomplish your destiny."

Jiraiya stopped, and Naruto could feel that the man was nervous. Actually, he could feel his warmth fading away ever so slightly.

"Ero-sennin…"

"Let me finish, Naruto. I have so many things to tell you…And yet so little time…God I have so little time…Listen to me. I have such great hopes for you, Naruto. I know that you will become a legend. You will become a man everyone will love and follow. I know that you are the only one who can make my nindou and my dreams linger on. You can build a better world where shinobi will understand and love each other. Where they will use their power not for war, bur for living in harmony together, and in harmony with this beautiful world we are living in, and which we never take enough time to admire."

Naruto could feel that Jiraiya's strong frame was withering away in his arms, and he clung harder to him.

"Don't go…Oh, don't go, please…" he begged.

"I believe you can achieve all of this, Naruto, but to do that, you need to face that pain you are concealing inside of you. And there is no other way than letting me go. You have to say goodbye."

"It's too soon…I'm not ready to lose you… I can't do this alone, Ero-sennin!"

"Naruto, look behind you."

The blonde haired boy disengaged his face from Jiraiya's robes and turned around, his head low. Behind him, he could still see Kakashi sleeping peacefully in the bed.

"That man behind you will follow you until the end of the world. He will support you and help you at all costs. You know that don't you? And he is not the only one. You have got many friends, Naruto-chan, you have become a talented a loved shinobi already, and I'm proud of you. You are not alone anymore, and you will never be alone again. Have faith in your friends, have faith in the Hatake kid….and have faith in Kyuubi. Remember, he saved your life. He will be one of your strongest allies in the future, I am certain of it."

When Naruto turned back towards Jiraiya, he had a strangled gasp.

His shishou was growing paler and paler, as though he was litterally melting in the air.

"Ero-sennin!"

Jiraiya had an appeasing, soft smile, and he rested a hand on Naruto's cheek.

"Daijoubu, Naruto-kun. It's time, now. You are waking up, and I have to go."

"No…No, don't leave me! I don't want to wake up, Ero sennin! I want to stay with you…"

"Naruto-kun…"

"A few more minutes, please!" Naruto implored, clutching Jiraiya's front, feeling that his clothes were already disappearing under his fingers.

"Yare, yare! You have always been such a greedy child, Naruto", Jiraiya laughed.

Before he disappeared, Jiraya pulled Naruto one last time against him and squeezed him as hard as he could, trying to make his love for him cross the boundaries of space and time.

"Don't forget me, Naruto-chan. Don't forget what I taught you, and I will always be with you. I leave you with my dreams, and I know that you will do your best to walk down my path."

Naruto gritted his teeth as he thought his heart was going to explode. He could feel Jiraiya's arms disappear around him. His scent was fading away like his chest, and his voice seemed to become ethereal, as though he was talking to him from a very distant land.

"Don't go…"

He clung to him desperately, all his body tensed and concentrated in the action of keeping that man a little bit longer with him.

"Don't go…"

Just a few more minutes…

Yet Jiraiya was already no more, and at last, as Naruto had come to hug empty air, a lone, single tear rolled on his cheek.

"Farewell, Naruto."

Naruto woke up with a strangled scream, jumping in his bed.

" _ **Don't go, Ero-sennin!**_ "

His cry was only met by darkness and silence, and with a shaking hand, Naruto wiped the tear that had reached the corner of his mouth.

He wrapped his arms tightly around him and rocked himself back and forth for a moment, his heart clenching awfully in his chest.

What was the meaning of this? What was that dream? Had Jiraiya really come to talk to him or had he just been a figment of his own imagination?

His words…His laugh…His smile…

Everything had felt so real…

Suddenly, he felt the impossible urge to get out of this place.

He couldn't stand lying in this bed anymore.

He had to get out.

He had to walk in the night.

He had to think.

Silently, he got up from the bed. His feet met the cold floor, and he started walking towards the door when he stopped. If he tried to get out of the hospital by the main entrance, he was bound to stumble upon a medic nin or a nurse. Worse, he could stumble upon Kakashi himself, as the man used to come regularly, even right in the middle of the night, in order to check on Sakura and him. As a result, he turned on his heels and headed towards the window. Thankfully, his room was situated not too far up from the ground, so he would not be obliged to summon many clones in order to get down. He opened the window, made the kage bunshin signs with his hands, and thanks to seven clones that held each other's hands while hanging down in the air, he could reach the ground without harm. There, the clones disappeared, and Naruto started walking.

His feet carried him without him making the slightlest effort. Soon, he passed the edge of the thick, immense forest of Konoha. The night was chilly, but the sky was clear, and Naruto could guess that the sun would soon rise. Lost in his thoughts, he wandered through the tall trees. Soft grass was scattered on the earth, and great, large ferns were standing along the path, reaching out their leaves to catch the silver light that was drifting through the peaceful trees. Before Naruto, a large branch was bending over the path, like a natural bridge, covered in moss and reddening leaves. As Naruto approached it, a swarm of tiny, beautiful fireflies flied into the air, as though they wanted to imitate the stars shining so far away above the world. Naruto bent in half to walk beneath the wooden arch, and he pursued his journey. The forest was so calm, so peaceful; it was as though Naruto had fallen into a land of dreams and serenity. Naruto breathed deeply into the scent of rain and wood, of moss and earth, and somehow, that smell eased his sorrow a bit. Naruto almost felt as though the thick trees were forming a gigantic embrace, a cocoon of tranquility within which they invited him to come and pour the pain that had been flooding his heart for so long.

His heart heavy, it seemed to Naruto that these past months had been a long, harassing journey, as though he had kept running, running, and running again. The Jiraiya in his dream had been right… He had been running from the atrocious reality, from the impossible truth, for it was absolutely unacceptable.

 _Jiraiya doesn't exist anymore._

That sole thought was terrifying. For the first time of his young life, Naruto truly experienced death in all its absurdity and brutality.

The path widened until he arrived on the shores of a large lake. The peaceful water was sparkling under the moonlight, and there too, there were fireflies dancing over the shining surface. Standing on a small island of earth that lied in the middle of the lake, there were old, carved columns from an ancient age.

 _Is that really how everything must end? Does every effort of human kind have to end up in ruins struggling against time? Does every human soul have to disappear and become nothing more than memories and dust?_

Naruto truly adored that place, as it was by far one of the most beautiful places he had ever seen. The lake was sprinkled with rocks of various sizes, and Naruto had often come here to swim for hours before climbing on one of these sun-heated rocks to fall asleep under the soft summer breeze. Yet now, under the ethereal light of the moon, the lake seemed to be whispering regrets, and ghostly shapes started appearing all around it. There, Naruto saw himself being pushed into the water by a particularly mischievous Jiraya. There, he saw Jiraiya diving head first and challenging Naruto to race with him until they reached the other side. There again, he saw Jiraiya and himself sitting back to back, enjoying the sun and warm breeze, Naruto slowly falling asleep against his master.

Naruto's heart ached so much that he closed his eyes for a short time, before a brief sound of ruffled leaves made him open them again. There, on the other side of the lake, Naruto discovered an extremely rare sight.

 _A unicorn._

Amazed and temporarily distracted from his depressing thoughts, Naruto hid under a large rock in order to observe the creature better. Both Jiraiya and Kakashi had told him that there were unicorns in the forest of Konoha, but that they were so rare and careful that it was nearly impossible to see one. Yet there it was, standing on its long, gracious legs, her beautiful head high in the air, scanning the area for any potential danger. Her beauty was astonishing under the pale light, and there seemed to be a soft, ethereal halo that emitted from her. Her long horn was shining like a diamond, and her robe was of the purest white. After making sure the area was safe, the beautiful creature strode forward and bent her long neck towards the water. She drank for a long time, and Naruto couldn't keep his eyes off her. After she had drank enough, the unicorn turned on her slender legs and disappeared as fast as she had come, leaving nothing behind her, as though she had only been part of a magical dream.

 _The world is beautiful, Naruto, yet we never take enough time to stop and watch._

How could the world still be so beautiful? How could this place be so full of life, even at the heart of the night, when Jiraiya lied under several feet of earth and dirt? How could that unicorn be so insolently beautiful when Jiraiya would never see again? How could the fireflies dance with such frivolity and freedom over the peaceful lake when Jiraiya's laugh was now nothing more than silence and memories?

Naruto slowly got out of his hideout, and he started walking again. Jiraiya's words rang again in his mind, and he kept walking through the forest for a long time, thinking.

 _You will become a man everyone will love and follow. I know that you are the only one who can make my nindou and my dreams linger on. You can build a better world where shinobi will understand and love each other._

Linger on…

 _Don't forget me, Naruto-chan. Don't forget what I taught you, and I will always be with you. I leave you with my dreams, and I know that you will do your best to walk down my path._

Don't forget me, and I will always be with you…

Were these words real?

Had Jiraiya really said these words to him?

Naruto passed his fingers on the rough peel of a tree as he kept walking along the lake.

 _Don't forget me, I will always be with you._

Maybe that was indeed the only way to make sure Jiraiya would never disappear, by making sure that his dreams kept living within Naruto. Jiraiya believed in him until his last breath, and he had certainly died thinking that Naruto would take care of the rest of his lifetime mission. Yet for three entire months, Naruto had done nothing but fleeing. First he had tried as hard as he could to hate Kakashi, and now he understood why. Kakashi was the one single person in the world who knew Naruto best. He knew how to read his heart, and Naruto had known right from the beginning that Kakashi had the power to make his heart burst. Then when he had seen Jiraiya's body with his own eyes, when he had realized for the first time that all of this was not a joke and that Jiraiya would indeed never come back again, Naruto had started losing it. He had started falling into that abyss he had been avoiding carefully, the abyss that lead to the acceptance of the unacceptable death of that man he loved like his grandfather. That was when things had started degenerating. That was when he had panicked so much that his anger had exploded, and it had nearly ended up with Kakashi's death.

As his feet kept carrying him under the thick canopy, Naruto realized that he couldn't pretend to be Hokage one day if he kept fleeing this way. He couldn't pretend to be Hokage if he was the one putting his loved ones in danger. And of course, he couldn't pretend to be Hokage if he was not determined to achieve his old masters' last wishes.

 _I believe you can achieve all of this, Naruto, but to do that, you need to face that pain you are concealing inside of you. And there is no other way than letting me go. You have to say goodbye._

These words had twisted Naruto's heart like a knife, and he had been uncapable of hearing them in their entire meaning. Yet now, he was starting to understand. Even though he would probably never know whether Jiraiya had been nothing but a dream, or whether he had really found a way to come back from the other side to talk to him, Naruto realized that it didn't change anything to the power of the words he had said. It didn't change anything to the fact that he had made Naruto realize that he had to grow up and go on with his own life. Like Jiraiya who was now participating in the cycle of life, nourishing the earth and giving birth to beautiful flowers, Naruto had to linger on. He had so many things to do, so many people to protect.

 _Sasuke…_

With the events of these past months, Naruto realized that he had almost forgotten his old friend. He had almost forgotten that again, he had been uncapable of bringing him back home the last time he had seen him. He had almost forgotten than Sasuke was so lost that he had tried to kill him.

And that was unacceptable.

How could he pretend to be Hokage if he abandoned his friends so easily? If he didn't respect his promises?

He had to stop fleeing.

He had to stop wallowing in self-pity, and he had to be strong for those who needed him. He would have to show the example, one day. He would have to show the way to the others, to show them how to build the world Jiraiya had been dreaming about for sixty years.

 _And Kakashi is alive._

Somehow, that only thought gave Naruto a strong feeling of comfort and courage. Because he had been running from his pain, he had almost killed Kakashi, and that, too, was unforgiveable. He had to keep living in order to cherish every single second he could spend with that man. Kakashi-sensei had so many things to teach him, to show him, and Naruto could feel that the silver-haired man had also an extraordinary amount of love to offer him. And right now, Naruto knew he needed that love more than anything else. Whatever happened, he knew that Kakashi's arms would always welcome him and hold him tight against his strong chest, that they would always keep him from falling apart.

Kakashi was not the only one left in Naruto's life. Sakura, too, was there for him. Now that he rewinded all the events of these past months into his mind, he realized that Sakura had never been so attentive towards him. He could feel that she had changed, and that she had been deeply concerned for him. The way she had tried to comfort him and assure him that she was there for him back when she was going to show him Jiraiya's body made Naruto curse himself because he had been so ungrateful. And she was not the only one either. Shikamaru, Sai, Ino, Iruka…All his friends had been worried and concerned for him. They had taken him out, they had spent time with him, they had tried to change his mind…

And Tsunade…

Naruto winced when he thought about the moment he had accused her of having killed Jiraiya. The fifth hokage had never answered the accusation, and Naruto knew now that she, too, had been feeling the same guilt that he had felt himself. She, too, had felt responsible for Jiraiya's death, and she had been devastated. Yet she had kept her head high. She had taken the time to cry and grieve, but she had kept ruling the village. She had remained strong for the people she had sworn to lead and protect.

And Naruto hadn't been there for her when she had needed him the most.

He had been so selfish.

He had been focusing on his own pain, and he had completely ignored hers, whereas Jiraiya had been her best friend for over fifty years. In addition to that, he had been completely uncapable of facing his pain.

That had to stop.

In the name of his deep love for Jiraiya, for Kakashi, for Sakura, Tsunade, Shikamaru, Sai, Ino, Lee, Tenten, Neiji, Hinata, Kiba, Choji, Shino, Iruka, in the name of his unconditional love for the entire village of Konoha, he had to make amends for the troubles he had caused, and he had to live on in order to lead the future generations to the new world.

He had to jump into the abyss, and accept Jiraiya's death.

As he came across the ruins of an ancient, small temple whose pointed archs reached out to the canopy like withered hands echoing from the past, he sat on the weathered stone steps of the old, mossy stairs. There, another proof of his ungratefulness came to his mind.

Kyuubi.

The demon fox had been pushing him, fueling his anger and hartred for months. He had been very close to take his soul over. Yet even though Naruto had locked him away, even though he had cast him aside, the demon fox had heard his plea.

And he had answered it.

 _Trust in Kyuubi. One day, he will be one of your strongest allies. I am certain of it._

Yes…Jiraiya was right. Naruto couldn't explain it, but he started feeling that maybe he had been wrong about Kyuubi, for all these years. Maybe he hadn't seen the forest hidden behind the tree. Kyuubi had saved both Kakashi and him, and yet Naruto had never taken the time to thank him properly. He had just thanked him briefly as he was on the verge of collapsing and drooling on Kakashi, yet he hadn't looked right into his eyes and let him know how grateful he was.

Well, now was the time to make amends for that too.

He leaned his back against one of the pillars, and while a soft breeze ruffled his hair, he closed his eyes to enter his own mind, where Kyuubi was sealed.

"Kyuubi?" he asked shyly, his voice ringing into the wide, dark hall.

He didn't have to wait for a long time before a growled answer came to his ears.

"I'm sleeping, brat."

"If you are sleeping then why do you answer me?" Naruto answered with a soft smile.

Naruto waited for the demon's answer, but Kurama remained silent. Naruto could feel that he was particularly pissed, and he had to control himself not to chuckle. He waited for a couple more minutes, and then resumed speaking. He was determined to let Kyuubi know how grateful he was.

"Kyuubi, last time I was too exhausted to thank you properly for saving Kakashi and me. Seriously, I don't know how I will ever be able to pay you back."

Kurama snorted, determined not to show his true emotions, as himself was still not ready to admit that he had indeed saved both Naruto and Kakashi because he had been deeply touched.

"That's no big deal. I had no choice. I couldn't stand to hear you bawl your eyes out like a freaking banshee, I wanted to shut your mouth once and for all so I could sleep in peace. And I saved my own freaking ass, by the way, not yours."

Naruto smiled tenderly.

"Of course, of course…"

Naruto squinted slightly so he could see behind the gigantic gates. Soon, he could discern the beautiful fox. He was curled up on himself, at the center of the cage, and his large head rested on his impressive paws.

For the first time of his life, Naruto observed the demon fox with a new eye.

Instead of the anger, the hartred and the resentment, for the first time, Naruto _heard_ the heart of that creature that had been sharing his soul all his life and yet whom he barely knew at all. For the first time, he wasn't looking at a monstruous, dangerous beast, but at a grief-stricken, lonely being condemned to live in prison for eternity. For the first time, Naruto heard the pain, the loneliness and the regret. His heart pounding heavily in his chest, he watched the giant fox's shape which seemed to be ploying under the weight of hundreds of years of solitude.

His eyes filled with tears as he realized he had been treating Kyuubi the same way Konoha had treated him.

"I'm so sorry, Kyuubi-chan." Naruto whispered before he could stop himself.

The fox raised his magnificient head and cast him a murderous, proud look.

"How the hell did you dare call me?"

His stare would have been enough to cause the bravest warrior to wet himself and run away as fast as he could, yet Naruto stood his ground. He owed Kyuubi an apology, and he was determined to carve it right into the fox's hardened heart.

"I said I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for misjudging you. I'm sorry for keeping you locked away like a monster. I have been hurting you as much as the villagers hurt me, and for that, I'm deeply sorry."

Kyuubi's eyes reduced to small, blazing slits.

"What the hell are you talking about? Why are you suddenly getting all fluffy with me?"

Naruto took a step closer to the gate.

"I never took the time to see you for who you really are. I never took the time to hear your pain and to listen to your loneliness. Yet you saved both Kakahi's life and mine, and now I see. I see who you truly are. And you are beautiful, Kyuubi-chan."

Kyuubi growled fiercely and started rising on his paws.

"Shut the hell up, and stop calling me Kyuubi-chan. I am not your friend, and I will never be your friend. I am no one's friend. Got it? I saved your fucking ass and the ass of that weird-haired guy because you were stupid enough to try and save him until you died, and I didn't want to die as of yet. So I saved myself. End of story."

Naruto smiled weakly, and his smile irritated Kyuubi even more. He crashed his muzzle against the gates and bared his teeth in his most terrifying growl.

"Wipe that fucking smile off your idiot, shitty face! You humans think you are so superior, don't you?! You think you understand everything, every damn creature, when all you have ever done in this world was to enslave and kill and torture and imprison and destroy! You have never accepted your dependence to nature, and you have always been trying to control it by putting everything you feared into jail! You have no respect for any other race other than yours! You disgust me, all of you! I hate you! _**Now get the hell out of my sight!**_ "

Naruto's eyes blue eyes filled with sadness as they took in the demonic, blazing orbs that seemed to be clinging desperately to hartred and resentment, but which screamed of a broken and weary soul. That's why he came even closer to the cage, until he could feel Kyuubi's hot, breath on his face.

"That's why you should help me change that."

Kyuubi's anger faded slightly, replaced by surprise, as he didn't expect Naruto to say that.

"What?!"

"I agree with you. The human race is flawed, and they still have a lot to learn about nature. Yet they need something, or someone, to guide them through another way of living, more respectful of nature and of the other races living in the same world. Help me, Kyuubi. Help me change the world. Help me show humans that they need to work _with_ nature instead of against it. Help me show them how to respect it and accept its teachings, how to love it and not use it in their own interest."

His speech was welcomed by a surprised silence from Kyuubi. The demon fox's face had lost all its animosity, and it was now the face of a genuinely confused creature. Yet soon, his anger took over again, and he threw himself against the gates which protested under his weight.

" _ **Fuzakenna! How are you supposed to do that, huh?! You baka kuso gaki! Your head is filled with nothing but dreams, but there's nothing concrete in there! You keep talking, talking and talking, but one day you will just get yourself killed because of your stupidity, and then, if I'm not lucky enough to die, I will be extracted from you again and transferred in yet another prison!**_ " he screamed in such a terrifying voice that the ceiling shook.

"Is that what you are afraid of? Are you afraid that I abandon you one day?"

Kyuubi seemed to be caught "red-pawed".

" **I never said that!** He protested vehemently, **who do you think you are, mattaku?! Do you think I need you to live? Do you think I need you at all? If I could get out of here I would take pleasure in ripping your idiotic head off!** "

Naruto grabbed the bars of the gates and dove his eyes right into Kurama's fiery ones.

"I will never, ever abandon you, Kyuubi-ttebayo. I will protect you as you have always protected me. I give you my word about that. And it is I who need you. Help me become Hokage, and I promise you that together, we will put an end to the slavery of bijus. We will take the world to a new era where people will better understand each other, where they will not try to gain power to destroy the other, and where they will respect nature and its creatures. I promise you, Kyuubi, that one day, I will get you out of that cage."

He smiled sincerely.

"And that day, you will realize that I am your friend. That day, I will take all that pain and rage away from your heart, and I will fill it with friendship and love, the same way Kakashi-sensei did for me. This is how I will pay you back for saving Kakashi-sensei's life."

As he was talking, Kurama couldn't get his eyes off him. He couldn't say a word. He couldn't do anything else but watch that small, blonde-haired boy, who slowly transformed into the shape of the only man Kurama had ever loved.

Rikudou-sennin.

Kurama felt his heart clench and he ripped his eyes off the blue ones. He curled up on himself, as far as he could from Naruto, and he seethed in a threatening voice behind which he hid his trouble.

"Just try to hug me or do anything fluffy or lovey-dovey with me, brat, and I'll bite your head off. Go do your dirty things with the Hatake brat. I'm not interested."

Naruto threw his head backwards and had a sincere laugh.

"All right, all right, we'll talk about that later."

He turned around and started walking out of the hall in order to come back to reality.

"First, I have to take the last step."

Kyuubi's ears twitched with curiosity.

"What last step?"

Naruto's features saddened.

"I have to say goodbye. See you later, Kyuubi."

He started running out, but suddenly he stopped and turned around again.

"One day, you have to tell me your true name, you know?"

 _One day a human will come, and he will know all your names._

Kyuubi's heart made a lurch.

"Piss off." He whispered, hiding his emotion in the darkness.

Naruto smiled fondly and turned on his heels, disappearing from the hall. Envelopped in shadow, two fiery orbs watched him fade away. The cage remained silent for a long time, and then a long sigh rose in the cold air.

"I guess I found him, Father." Kyuubi whispered.

When he recovered his spirits, Naruto was welcomed by a magnificient, golden and pink sky which had transformed the forest into a rich palette of red, yellow and orange shades. He couldn't put words on what he was feeling. It was a mixture of incredible love and determination on the one hand, and immense, inconsolable sadness on the other hand, as though he was about to lose something forever. The young man stood up and walked back to Konoha, barely aware of his surroundings. The village was waking up slowly, and as Naruto was still in his hospital gown, the merchants that were opening their shops looked at him with curiosity. As he was coming near the cemetery, Naruto heard a familiar voice.

"Oy! Naruto-kun! What are you doing out there?"

Extracted from his thoughts, Naruto lifted his head and turned around. It was Yozaku-san, the ice cream merchant. He was a thirty-year-old tall, muscular man, with a blazing mane of red hair and beautiful blue eyes. Like Teuchi and Ayame at Ichiraku's, Naruto knew Yozaku well as he was used to buy him ice-creams for himself as well as for Konohamaru. In addition to that, Yozaku's shop had become a particular step of Ero-sennin's trainings with Naruto. Everytime they would return to Konoha after a hard day of training, Jiraiya would stop at Yozaku's to buy popsicles for Naruto and him. As a matter of fact, Naruto had always suspected Jiraiya to have chosen Yozaku's shop because Yozaku was extremely handsome, and thus his shop was often overrun by swarms of young (and less young) ladies.

Naruto slowly approached Yozaku.

"Ohayou, Yozaku-nii-san…" he breathed out in a dead voice, trying to smile but failing miserably as his heart was crying in his chest.

Yozaku's happy face saddened all at once. Without a word, he turned around the counter and came to enfold Naruto in a powerful, smothering embrace, tucking his face deep in his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry for Jiraiya-sama, Naruto-kun." He whispered as he squeezed the boy extremely tightly until Naruto couldn't see anything.

Naruto clenched his teeth and disengaged from Yozaku's arms slowly. He kept his head low, as he could feel that at last, the tears were coming to his eyes.

"Thank you, Yozaku-nii-san."

"Naruto-kun, what are you doing dressed up like this? Aren't you going to catch a cold? Have you been running away from the hospital again?" Yozaku asked gently, ruffling Naruto's hair.

Naruto sniffed and smiled embarrassedly, but still not looking at Yozaku.

"I'm fine, don't worry. Yes I got out of the hospital because I…I just needed to…You know, I needed to take a walk. I just felt like the walls were going to crush me."

Yozaku sighed.

"All right, I understand then… Do you want to eat something though? Do you want a dango? An amanattou? You look really pale you know…"

Naruto was about to refuse politely when he suddenly thought that indeed, he needed something, but not for eating.

He raised his eyes to Yozaku.

"Can I have popsicles, please?"

The red-haired man's eyes saddened as he understood Naruto's thoughts, and he had a soft, nostalgic smile.

"Of course…"

He returned behind the counter and opened the freezer to catch two apricot ice-lollies that were glued together. He handed them over to Naruto, without a word. His heart heavy, Naruto took the ice-lollies preciously, like a treasure, and his eyes burned awfully. He looked at Yozaku, his lips shaking, and smiled with difficulty.

"Thank you…I will pay for these later, I promise." He said, his voice being nothing more than a broken breath.

Yozaku shook his head.

"No need. It's a gift."

His throat tight, Naruto gave Yozaku a touched smile and nodded gratefully. Without any other word, he turned on his heels and headed towards the cemetery, under Yozaku's sad eyes which followed him until he had disappeared.

When finally, Naruto arrived in front of Jiraiya's tomb, he let himself fall to the ground, clutching the popsicles hard into his hand.

It was as though they were his very last link to Jiraiya.

It was the last thing Jiraiya had given him in his life. The last thing he had offered him with his bright, fatherly smile. He had given him a popsicle, and had left with the other one forever.

Naruto remained there, completely still, frozen in the chilly air.

The entire cemetery was silent, and Jiraiya's name was engraved on the stone into solemn signs which, this time, contrasted so much with his personality. With a shaking hand, Naruto raised his fingers and caressed the carved, rough signs, following Jiraiya's name, feeling as though his heart was stuck in the back of his throat. The introspection he had just gone through in the forest overwhelmed his mind. He thought about his determination, about his resolutions, about his promise to go on with his life for the people he loved, and in honour of Jiraiya's dreams. He thought about Kyuubi, about his promise to heal his hardened heart one day, and to appease his suffering by building a better world.

Yet now, all he could think of was that he missed Jiraiya so much it was unbearable. The words were now empty and powerless before the tears of his heart.

"Ero-sennin…" Naruto whispered, his entire face contorting in pain.

Yet he had made a promise. He had to keep going. Jiraiya had put all his last hopes within him. He had asked him to go on.

Naruto would not fail him again.

A single tear escaped from his blue eye and rolled down his nose as the blonde detached the popsicles, and slowly put one down on the grave. The same way Jiraiya used to give him a popsicle to tell him that he had worked well, and that he could now rest, Naruto felt that this way, he was allowing Jiraiya to rest in peace for eternity.

There, Naruto sighed and started speaking the most difficult words of his life.

"You can go now, Ero-sennin. You have trained me well, and you have made me a better man. You can rest now, and let me take care of the rest. I will not fail you, for you will live in my heart for eternity, and I will be true to your teachings, for the rest of my life."

Another tear sprung out of his eye, and Naruto clutched his popsicle to his heart, as he was trying hard not to collapse under the utmost pain of the last words he was about to say. He took a deep, shaking breath, and finally, eventually, after three months of struggle, he jumped into the abyss.

"Farewell, Ero-sennin." He whispered while, at long last, the tears flowed on his face.


	12. From Darkness Shall Come Light

**Japanese vocabulary**

 _ **Nanda/ Nani?**_ What?

 _ **Wakatta?**_ Understood?

 _ **Hai, hai…**_ Yes, yes…

 _ **Ja na**_ See you later

 _ **Shimatta**_ Shit!

 _ **Gomen =**_ I'm sorry

 _ **Ne?**_ Right?

 **Chapter 12- From Darkness Shall Come Light**

When Kakashi arrived at the hospital soon after the sun rose, he could immediately feel that something was wrong. The nurses were running around like mice, and he could hear a familiar voice scream above his head. Though he couldn't understand what it was saying, Kakashi's heart jolted as he recognized it at once.

"Sakura…!" he breathed out, his eyes wide with concern.

Without wasting time, Kakashi ran to the stairs and climbed to the third floor as fast as he could. As he approached the source of the voice, Kakashi started understanding what Sakura was shrieking.

" **Get the hell out of my way, you bunch of useless idiots! I am sick for just a couple of days and that's enough for you all to screw the fuck up!"**

"Yare, yare, what the hell is going on?" Kakashi wondered out loud, climbing the last steps. He arrived in front of the door and opened it, stepped in the corridor…

…and there he got hit by a train…

…or so it felt.

A pink and white ball crashed right into him and sent him fly to the ground where he fell hard on his back, wincing in pain as his breath got temporarily cut off.

"Arr…"

" _ **Kakashi-senseiii!"**_ a feminine voice hurled into his ears.

When he opened his eyes, he immediately wished he hadn't, for the sight of a very pissed off Sakura was enough to make the Akatsuki convert to humanitarian work. Her entire face was as red as a tomato, so much that it almost matched her messy hair. Her forehead and temps were striated by angry veins, and her immense, green eyes looked like they were going to pop out of their sockets. Sai, as well as several nurses were gathering around them, not knowing what to do, as though they were trying to tame a fierce animal that had just got loose.

" **What are you doing out of your room?**! **Who allowed you to get out of bed?!** " Sakura bellowed on top of her lungs, straddling Kakashi and agitating a dangerous index in front of his masked nose.

"Ehh?! Nan-Nanda?!" Kakashi stuttered.

"Kakashi-san, Sakura-san has…" Sai started.

" _ **Naruto has disappeared**_!" Sakura wailed on the verge of tears, her eyes wide in fear.

"Nani?!" Kakashi gasped.

Sakura's eyes hardened again and she glared a hole in Kakashi.

" **Why the hell are you half naked?!"**

Kakashi opened his eyes even wider, not understanding a word of what Sakura was saying. He looked at himself to make sure that he hadn't forgotten to put pants before going out of his apartment, and confirmed that Sakura was indeed delirious.

"Sakura, sweetie, I'm not…" Kakashi started, raising his hands up in defense.

" _ **I knew I had to watch over him…I knew it, I knew it…"**_ Sakura whined again, hitting Kakashi's chest and closing her eyes.

She seemed completely out of it, hopping from one subject to another, she barely seemed to know where she was. Now that he thought of it, Kakashi realized that Sakura was casting an abnormal amount of heat. Ignoring his body which was screaming in pain from head to toe, Kakashi put the back of his hand on Sakura's forehead, and his eyes widened when he felt that she was indeed burning up. He cast dismayed look at Sai.

"Yes, she got a bad fever during the night, and to top it all, Naruto-kun has disappeared from his room and she found out…" Sai said, trying to approach the seething Sakura to catch her in his arms.

Sakura was still babbling incoherently, hitting Kakashi's chest, and the silver-haired man realized that the nurses were tense and that he had to ask them to leave so he could try to calm Sakura down.

"All right I want everyone out of here except Sai-kun. I will handle this." Kakashi ordered calmly but with authority. The puzzled nurses looked at each other, but they obeyed and fell back towards the end of the corridor. Then Kakashi dove a hand into Sakura's soft hair and smoothed her messy strands.

"Shhhhhh…Easy, my sweet Sakura-chan, just tell me what happened", he soothed with a tender voice.

"I-I heard the nurses say that…Th-that Naruto-kun was…" Sakura gasped, tears leaking from her eyes.

"Maaa…I'm here, don't be afraid…Go ahead…" Kakashi encouraged her, wiping the tears on his cheeks with his thumbs.

Yet again, Sakura's behavior changed completely and she crashed her index on Kakashi's nose.

" _ **Why aren't you resting in your bed?!"**_ She asked in a terrifying voice.

"Ehh?!"

" **NARUTO HAS DISAPPEARED!"** she shrieked.

Kakashi knew he had to do something to calm her down. He could feel that her chakra was a mess and he was starting to fear she would die of a heart attack.

He took her head into his long hands and forced her to look at him.

"Sakura-chan, look at me. It's okay. Everything is going to be okay. Calm down…"

" _ **How the Hell can you tell me to calm down?!**_ _"_

"Maaa! First because you are sick and burning up, and second because I think I know where Naruto went. Come on, breathe with me, all right? On three…One…Two…Three…"

Maintaining her head in his hands, Kakashi took a deep breath under his mask and encouraged Sakura to follow him. The young woman never let go of his eyes, but Kakashi could feel that her heart was racing. He caressed her hair slowly, and as Sakura kept looking at him, he started spinning his Sharingan…

…but even though Sakura was sick and delirious, she was still excellent at Genjutsu.

Before he could make a move, Sakura crashed her hand on his eye.

" **WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? SHANNARO!"**

Kakashi winced in pain and covered his left eye with his hands.

"Aooow! Sakura-chaaan!" he whined, suddenly understanding what Naruto felt when Sakura took it out on him.

" **DON'T YOU SAKURA-CHAN ME! I'M TELLING YOU THAT NARUTO IS IN DANGER AND THERE YOU ARE TRYING TO HYPNOTIZE ME! I WON'T…MMF!"**

Her voice suddenly got muffled in Kakashi's shirt as the man, desperate, had grabbed the back of her head and forced her face down into his chest. He held her tight while she struggled in his embrace, and he wrapped both his arms around her head to engulf her completely in his muscled torso.

"Shhhhh, okay, okay, I'm sorry…I'm sorry Sakura, I am really sorry. I just want you to calm down, wakatta?" he bent his head slightly forward to whisper near Sakura's ear.

The young girl seemed to let out a particularly nasty word, and flattened her hands against his stomach in an attempt to push him away, but Kakashi kept her against him and closed his eyes.

"Shhhh, theeere…Theeere…Caaalm down…Shhhhh…" he sang, maintaining his arms wrapped tight around her head.

Sakura let out a deep sigh between his pectorals, but she stopped struggling. Kakashi felt her heartbeat was starting to slow down. He laid a kiss in her hair.

"Naruto is not in danger, I know where he went. I will find him, I promise."

"Mcmthff!"

"Ehh?"

Kakashi loosened his embrace so that Sakura could disengage her face from his pectorals and rest her cheek on them to speak intelligibly.

"I'm coming with you."

Kakashi winced. He didn't want to lie to her, and of course he couldn't take her with him, but he couldn't tell her he wasn't going to take her with him either, or she would blow a fuse again. His mind racing, he grabbed her head and turned it again to encase her face back in his chest and prevent her from speaking.

"First I want you to calm down. Then we'll see."

"Mmssmfmff…" Sakura protested between his pectorals.

"Hai, hai…" Kakashi said, even though he hadn't caught what nasty name she had just called him.

He held her encased in his pectorals for a long time, caressing her softly and shushing her. As her breath was starting to even, Kakashi thought that he had no other choice but putting her to sleep, as there was absolutely no chance she would accept staying in her bed with Sai while Kakashi went to fetch Naruto. Slowly, he started humming a song. His deep, beautiful voice rose in the corridor, and he kept caressing Sakura while holding her tight to him. He could feel that her entire body was sagging against him, and that she was progressively lowering her defenses. Slowly, he positioned his hand just above a precise point between her neck and the beginning of her spine. Seeing what he was doing, Sai held his breath. Swiftly, Kakashi pushed the pressure point and let out a shot of chakra from his fingers into Sakura's nerves. Sakura had a small whimper of surprised, then she became completely still against Kakashi, who sighed and lifted his forehead protector to wipe his forehead.

"Oh boy, I need to have my ass replaced by a metal one before she wakes up and finds out about what I've just done", he said.

Sai bent down and lifted the immobile young woman in his arms. Discretely, he cradled her head to his chest and squeezed her tightly, which didn't go unnoticed by Kakashi. Then the boy raised a stoic face to Kakashi, which contrasted formidably with his sentence.

"I am indeed positively certain about the fact that she is going to take your ass somewhere and then give it to you when she wakes up."

Kakashi looked at him, completely puzzled, wondering whether Sai was delirious too.

"What?!"

"Err… I mean she is going to kill you. I guess I didn't said that right…"

Kakashi thought for a second then his eyes enlightened.

"Oh! You mean she's going to hand my ass over to me?"

Sai had a sincere, bright smile.

"Yes! That's it! That's the idiom I was looking for."

Kakashi let out a bark of laughter.

"Yes Sai, I am much aware of the fact that my ass is going to be handed over to me, thank you".

"Maybe you should flee to another country." Sai said, still stoicly.

Kakashi looked at him, surprised.

"Did you just make a joke, Sai?"

"Actually I did, Kakashi-san. Was it good?"

"Hilarious. I almost wet my pants. Keep it up, Sai-kun, I'm sure one day you'll be funnier than me."

Sai had a sincere, heartwarming smile, and he clutched Sakura tighter to him like a child holding his most precious thing. Kakashi got up on his feet and laid a hand on Sai's shoulder.

"All right Sai, I see that I can leave Sakura to you, please make sure that fever gets down, I don't like that at all." He said.

"Hai, Kakashi-san, I will not leave her for a second, and I will call the doctors back right away."

"Good, then I am off to find Naruto. Ja na!"

Before flying out of the hospital, Kakashi stopped a nurse in the corridor and asked her for a blanket, telling her it was an emergency. The nurse led him to a cupboard full of furnitures, and Kakashi grabbed a thick, blue blanket before thanking the nurse and running away. The sun had just risen, and the air was bright but slightly chilly, and the soft, pink light was already flooding the streets. Without losing a second, Kakashi headed towards the place he knew Naruto was.

Konoha's cemetery.

 _Naruto…You are trying to do this by yourself, but I won't let you. I want to be there for you. Wait for me, I'm coming._

When he arrived at the cemetery, he stopped running and headed straight towards where Jiraiya had been buried. There, he stopped dead in his tracks as his heart clenched painfully in his chest.

Naruto was kneeling before the tombstone, as Kakashi had predicted. He was completely still, and his head was slightly bowed forward.

Kakashi took a deep breath.

 _All right…That's it. Finally, the time has come._

The silver-haired man walked up to Naruto.

As he expected it, Naruto had run away from the hospital in his light hospital gown. As a result, he was shivering under the cold air. Slowly, Kakashi put the blanket over his shoulders, without saying a word. Then he sat next to him and waited.

Naruto didn't say anything.

The two men remained sitting there for a few minutes, silently.

Discretely, Kakashi observed Naruto, and his heart broke when he saw that Naruto's face was covered in silent tears.

Yet the blonde wasn't sobbing.

The tears were just rolling on his face, spilling from his eyes, in an endless, heartbroken fall.

He was looking at the tombstone, and his eyes were vague, unfocused.

He seemed completely out of it, and an immense feeling of misery and weariness was issuing from him.

When Kakashi lowered his eyes to the blonde's hands, his eyebrows rose slightly.

Naruto was holding a popsicle, while another was resting down on the grave.

The boy still wouldn't say anything, and Kakashi knew he had to somehow make him talk.

He cleared his throat.

"Yo…"He whispered gently.

Naruto turned his head towards him, but his eyes remained turned to the ground.

"Hey, sensei…"He mouthed in a tiny murmur.

He turned back to the tombstone, and Kakashi's eyes saddened.

It was difficult for him to see Naruto so demolished. He looked as though all life had been sucked out of him, leaving nothing but an empty shell who would never laugh again. Kakashi almost wished Naruto would tell him to piss off. He almost regretted the time when Naruto would yell at him and insult him. Hell, he would even be glad if the boy tried to hit him right now.

He would take anything, anything but this sad, broken silence, anything but these endless tears that kept pouring from his eyes without ever stopping, sliding along his nose and falling down on the grave in a tiny, discrete sparkle of light.

A few more minutes went by.

Naruto was still completely immobile, and the tears kept falling.

Kakashi bit his tongue and raised his face to the sky, thinking hard about what on earth he could tell him. There he was, sitting next to Naruto, about to achieve his goal and push Naruto to express his feelings. He had been obsessed with that moment for months. He and Naruto had gone through so many emotions in three months. Naruto had yelled at him, insulted him, he had learned to trust him again, and then he had literally tried to kill him. Kakashi had spent hours and hours thinking about what he would do and say when Naruto would be ready to open his heart to him. He had made plans, he had built entire speeches in his head.

Yet now all words seemed so futile.

What could he possibly tell the boy?

Losing someone was one of the most dreadful ordeals of life. Kakashi himself had never really got over the loss of his loved ones. How on earth could he comfort Naruto now when himself was so broken inside?

Kakashi sighed.

Maybe there was nothing to say.

Maybe some things just couldn't be planned and really intellectualized.

Listening to his heart, he raised his hand and slowly, hesitantly, he started rubbing Naruto's back through the blanket, drawing soothing circles, hoping that it would incite the boy to talk to him.

It didn't.

"Maa…What's with the popsicles? It's kind of chilly nowadays to eat ice-cream, isn't it?" Kakashi asked very gently, almost as though he was afraid to frighten the boy with his voice. He was trying to get him to say anything. Naruto being all sad and silent was just so wrong. It was just as if the world had suddenly gone backwards, as though the sun had gotten sick and had refused to rise that day.

Yet this time it seemed to work.

Naruto lowered his eyes towards the ice lollies.

"Ero-sennin, he whispered in a barely audible voice, he…he used to buy these and give me one after training…He…He would always split them in two and give me one of them…The…that particular gesture…It was like hem…some kind of ritual I guess...I don't know…"

Kakashi bit his lip in anxiety. Naruto seemed so far away, locked in a world filled with melancholy and nostalgy, a world where all light had faded away and where Naruto was roaming like a lost, blind soul.

 _Ma, at least he did say something…Good job Kakashi…_ , Kakashi ironised in his head.

"It's also the…the last thing he gave me before…"

Naruto fell silent again, and he didn't say anything else for several minutes. He closed his eyes, and new tears spilled over his whiskered cheeks, while his chin started trembling very slightly.

Kakashi sighed and decided to go straight to the point.

"Maa…Look Naruto, I would like you to talk to me. Just…Tell me anything. You need to get all of this off your chest, and I'm here to listen to you. Remember after the funeral, I told you I would be there for you. Well I'm here, I'm right here…Talk to me. Talk to me, Naruto-chan."

Again, Naruto didn't utter a word. Kakashi kept caressing his back, softly and tenderly.

"Please, Naruto, let me help you. Let me be there for you. Let me comfort you. You know that my arms are always open to you." He said with his deep voice.

His words and the slow, comforting running of his hand on his back finally seemed to reach the boy's heart. The question he asked Kakashi made the silver-haired man want to cry.

"He…He suffered, didn't he, sensei?"

Naruto's voice was filled with so much misery that Kakashi could literally hear his own heart break to a thousand of pieces. His hand flew up to Naruto's hair to caress it softly.

"Oh, Naruto-chan…Don't think like that, please…" he whispered, his throat tight.

"I mean…You have seen his…His body…, Naruto went on, closing his eyes in a pained wince, he must have suffered so much…"

"Shhh, shhh, shhh…You're hurting yourself, Naruto-kun…" Kakashi murmured, running his hand up and down Naruto's skull, kneading his neck.

Naruto sniffed and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, but the tears kept falling on his cheeks.

"He…He died alone…I…I wish I had been with him…Just…Just to…hold his hand when he…" He said with difficulty, his voice trembling as well as his lips.

He let out a small, painful sob and hid his face in his hand. He turned slightly away from Kakashi, as though he was ashamed. The jounin's face filled with deep sorrow, and he came closer to Naruto, wrapping his arm aroung the boy's shoulders, determined not to let him hide from him anymore.

"Jiraiya was not alone when he died. Fukasaku was with him. Remember what I told you? None of this is your fault, Naruto…Jiraiya didn't want you to see him go."

Naruto gasped as he strangled on another sob, his face still hidden in his hand. Kakashi shushed him softly, squeezing him against him in a one-armed embrace.

"Shhhh…Easy…Easy…."he murmured in Naruto's ear.

Naruto was shivering, and his chest was rising and falling irregularly, violently, as the sobs were growing inside of him.

"I…I just can't believe his gone…I…It's…It's so unfair…"

Naruto's voice died in his throat and his hand clenched around the popsicle, as though Naruto kept clinging on to Jiraiya's memory, as though he was trying to find Jiraiya's essence through that particular symbol that had been such a tight link between them. Kakashi closed his eyes and put his lips into Naruto's hair, giving him a long, comforting kiss.

"Shhh…I know…I know…It's going to be difficult, Naruto, I won't lie to you. But I will be here all the WHOArglff…!"

Kakashi couldn't finish his sentence. Suddenly, he found himself tackled on the ground as Naruto had thrown the blanket away and flung his arms around Kakashi's neck, burying his face into his strong shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Kakashi-sensei…I'm so sorry…I'm so s-sorry for everything I did to you and the others…I…G-God…I almost k-killed you…"He cried out hastily, as though he was drowning and clinging to Kakashi for dear life.

He let out another heartbroken sob, and Kakashi, whose face was taking a worrying shade of blue as he couldn't breathe anymore, managed to sit down and ease Naruto's grip on his neck. There, he re-wrapped his arms around him and closed his eyes, hugging him tight.

"It's okay, Naruto…It's okay…It's over now, I'm fine, and I'm right here with you. Shhh, it's over…I'm not going anywhere…" he whispered in the blonde ear.

Steadily, Naruto's sobs grew more violent, and he started hiccupping through his words.

"I…I m-miss him so much, s-sensei…Oh god I…I-m-miss him…"

That's when the dam broke.

After three months of fighting, the dam broke, and the enormous pain just flowed out, devastating Naruto's body which sagged completely against Kakashi, as though it was carried away by an immense wave pouring out of his heart.

He was overwhelmed by deep, long sobs that shook his entire frame, nearly suffocating him. Kakashi's eyes watered as he received the colossal strength of Naruto's pain straight into his heart. It was terrifying, maddening, crushing, inexpressible. Yet he swallowed his own sorrow and crushed Naruto to him in a protective, desperate embrace.

"Maaa…I know… Oh, Naruto-kun, I know, I know, I know…Shhhhh…." he whispered.

While crushing Naruto's face into his shoulder with one hand, Kakashi twisted his body to retrieve the blanket that had fallen to the ground. Then he managed to make Naruto's face slide from his shoulder to his chest by passing his arms over the blonde's. Naruto found himself tucked against Kakashi's chest, crushing the popsicle to his own screaming heart. There, Kakashi wrapped the boy into the blanket, emprisonning his arms and body.

"There…In my arms now…Come here…" he whispered when Naruto was enveloped in the blanket. He grabbed the back of the blonde's head and shoved his face right into his chest, tucking his nose neatly between his pectorals. His other hand came around his back to force him further into the tender and loving embrace, and he set his chin on top of his head, swallowing him into his arms. Naruto let out a long, painful howl, muffled in the depths of Kakashi's broad, muscular pectorals, and the older man buried his face further into his chest, stroking his hair.

"Maaa…I'm here…I'm here now…Let it out, Naruto…Let it all out…"

Naruto's face shot up from Kakashi's pectorals, all his body shaking, his voice being nothing more than a desperate wail.

"I-It hu-hurts so m-much, s-sensei…I…I c-can't st-stand the p-pain…" Naruto strangled on his sobs.

"Shhh-shhh-shhh-shhh…"

Kakashi pushed the back of his head to force his face back between his pectorals and feathered light kisses in the golden hair. He stroked his head tenderly, resuming his rocking motion, soothing Naruto like a small child, keeping his face prisoner of his muscles.

"Shhhh...I know. And I know you're scared. I know it seems like you can't survive so much pain. But you have to let it out, Naruto, or it will eat you alive. Let it all go out here, in my chest. Don't be ashamed. I'm here to hold you, and there's no one here but me."

Naruto hid his face further into Kakashi's chest, hiding from the world, nestling deeper and deeper in the arms of his friend and sensei, desperate to feel his arms hold him tight to prevent him from shattering to pieces. It felt as though he couldn't breathe, as though he was drowning in the infinity of the chasm that Jiraiya's death had opened in his heart, and in which he had dived at last. He thought he was going to go mad with the pain, with the terror that Jiraiya's disappearance inspired him, and he tried desperately to focus on Kakashi's warmth and solidity. Kakashi was holding him through the darkness, and the smell of his body as well as the sound of his heart beating were the only things that seemed to keep Naruto from falling apart. He sobbed, and sobbed and sobbed, so much he thought his heart would burst, so much he thought his entire face was dissolving under his tears. Little by little, he let out heart wrenching screams that he couldn't even hold back anymore, that just seemed to be breaking out of his throat against his own will. Yet Kakashi had him completely engulfed in his arms, his face smothered inside his chest, and Naruto felt like he could indeed let his grief out, without anyone hearing his shameful sobs.

Kakashi kept hugging him dearly and protectively, as though he was trying to extract all his pain just by squeezing him as tight as he could. He listened to the long, harrowing rhythm of his cries, closing his eyes, trying to take all the pain into his heart by pressing Naruto's face to his chest. He kept rocking him slowly, tenderly, occasionally kissing the blonde hair, shushing him and whispering sweet words to his ear, holding him as close as he could.

"Shhhh, eaaaasy….Eaaasy…I'm here... I'm here with you…Shhhh…"

Again, he remembered that night he had been crying alone on the bench under the rain and the silver light of the moon high in the sky. He remembered how devastated he had been that night, how his heart had seemed to crumble to pieces as he thought about his father that would never hold him again. Again, he remembered how Minato had given him warmth and tenderness that night, how he had offered him his arms for just an instant. He told himself that he would certainly have avoided many mistakes in his life if someone like Minato had been there longer in order to hold him as he was growing up. As Naruto was hiccupping and wailing in his chest, he laid a long kiss in his hair, making a silent promise to Minato.

 _I swear on my life that I will never, ever let Naruto suffer alone anymore. I swear that I will always be there to hold him when he cries, to soothe his heart when it aches. This is my way to thank you for being there for me that night, Minato-sensei…_

He raised his eyes to the sky while clutching Naruto to him, and his lips stretched to a soft, sad smile, as he let his silent words fly up to wherever Minato's soul was resting. Then he reported his attention to the boy in his arms, and set his chin back on the top of his head, resuming his rocking motion and soft shushing, closing his eyes with devotion so he could focus better on the feeling of the boy's face pressed deep into his chest.

After a very long time, Naruto had no more tears to cry. Slowly, his sobs died down, and he finally fell silent, his eyes closed, breathing softly in Kakashi's chest. For a minute, Kakashi almost thought he had fallen asleep, but then Naruto sniffed and twisted in Kakashi's arms so he could snuggle one of his hands out of the blanket. There, he grabbed the bottom of Kakashi's shirt, thinking it was his own hospital gown and unceremoniously wiped his eyes and nose with it. Kakashi chuckled.

"Ma, I think I'll have to do my laundry after all…"

Naruto opened an eye, and when he realized his mistake, he had a soft gasp and tried to wipe the shirt with his gown.

"Oh, shimatta… Gomen, sensei…" he stuttered.

Kakashi smiled and took Naruto's hands away from his shirt.

"No need to apologize, it's okay…I was just kidding."

He grabbed Naruto's face and pressed his cheek back on his heart before kissing his temple.

"Well, obviously not about the fact that I _do_ have to take care of my laundry, but anyway…"

It seemed to him that Naruto had a small, very soft giggle.

"Man do I understand you-ttebayo…" he answered.

Kakashi's heart missed a beat, and his eyes widened.

 _Ttebayo._

At last.

God, he had never been so happy to hear the little word.

At last, Naruto seemed to be slowly emerging from the darkness, like a sick man progressively coming back to light and life. At last, he seemed to be reinvesting his own body, his own soul, after the devastating storm that had nearly made him destroy everything he was.

Yet Kakashi knew the journey had actually just begun.

As though Naruto had heard his thoughts, the young boy talked again.

"Sensei…"

"Yes, Naruto-kun?" Kakashi answered with tenderness, keeping him trapped in his arms.

"How…How do you…you know…make the pain go away?" Naruto whispered.

Kakashi sighed and he held Naruto tighter.

"You don't, unfortunately…"

"What do you mean?"

Kakashi was still rocking the boy back and forth, pensively caressing his hair, his eyes wandering in the horizon.

"If I could take all the pain in your heart away, I would, Naruto….But there's no such thing. The loss of someone you love is…soul-crushing. It's a very long way, and some people struggle their entire life to cope with the pain. A loved one truly leaves a void in your heart, and that void will never fill again, because you cannot replace that unique person, you see? I mean…You and Jiraiya-sama had a special bond. You have lived many things together. You had your own universe, your own codes, and I know how much you loved him, as well as how much he loved you."

Kakashi could feel Naruto gulp and turn his face to bury it back between his pectorals. The silver-haired man felt new warm tears running through his shirt and touching his skin. He clenched his jaw, closed his eyes and rounded his shoulders so that his chest muscles would flex and engulf Naruto's face deeper in their protective embrace. Then he went on.

"The pain cannot go away, Naruto, but you will learn to live with it. You will learn to accept it as being part of your heart."

"But how?" Naruto asked in a muffled voice, his voice broken and shaking.

"Mmh…Everyone has an answer to that question you know…Mine is to fill the void with memories that you will treasure all your life. Concerning Jiraiya-sama, you can consider that a part of him still dwells in his books, as he poured his very soul in each and every word. I think you eventually come to think that you were lucky to know the people you loved and lost. You were lucky that these people made you change and become someone better. That's how I think that in a way, they will never disappear, because they will always influence your way of living. Personally, that is how I will remember Jiraiya-sama. He was a man I admired truly, not only because his books accompanied me for years, but also because he was an extraordinary person. I wish I had spent more time with him."

Kakashi marked a slight pause to lay a tender kiss in Naruto's hair, before he rested his masked cheek on it.

"I know you can't believe me now when I say that, but I promise you, Naruto-chan, that one day it will be okay. It seems impossible right now. It seems that the mountain is way too difficult to climb, but we all have to do it one day. And you're not alone, Naruto. I'm here to help you heal, as well as Sakura, Shikamaru, Iruka, Yamato and all the others. You are surrounded by many people who love you, and we will be there for you, always. And you will see that one day, even if you will never be the same, even though the pain will never truly leave your heart, it will become more like a discrete companion you will have learned to live with."

Kakashi fell slient, and his words lingered in the air for a short time, while Naruto was absorbing them. Kakashi patiently waited for Naruto's reaction, caressing his back, never stopping his rocking motion.

"Sensei…" Naruto whispered after a while.

"Yes, Naruto-chan?"

Naruto gulped, and Kakashi felt his hesitation. He frowned and held him tighter against his chest.

"You can tell me anything, Naruto. I will listen to you without judging you, I promise you. Talk to me, don't be afraid." He encouraged him while tangling and untangling his fingers in the golden hair, keeping Naruto's face pressed to his heart.

Naruto sighed.

"Last night…I…I saw Ero-sennin…" he whispered.

Kakashi kept rocking him and caressing him, keeping him close and warm.

"You mean you dreamt about him?" he asked with caution.

He felt Naruto shake his head against his chest.

"No…I mean…I don't know. I saw him and…He told me that…That I had to go on. He told me that I had to say goodbye. He…"

Naruto's voice strangled in his throat, and Kakashi wiped the new tear that had sprung out of Naruto's eye by caressing his face with tenderness, not saying a word, just listening to his cherished blonde.

"He felt so real, sensei. I…I held him so tight in my arms. I tried to stop him from leaving. I tried so hard, but he was disappearing in my arms and…It was like I was…losing him again…I…I couldn't do anything but watch him leave…"

Naruto was interrupted by a heavy, painful sob that made his shoulders shake. Kakashi frowned sadly and crushed him in his arms, showering his hair with light, tender kisses.

"Oh…Naruto-chan…Shhhhh, easy…", he mouthed, his heart clenching.

Naruto sniffed into his chest and tried to speak through his tears, while his voice was muffled by Kakashi's arms and chest.

"Do you think it was o-only a dream, sen-sensei? Is…Isn't th-there a s-slight chance th-that…Th-that he w-was r-really th-there with me?"

Kakashi rocked him tenderly, rubbing soothing circles in his back. He gulped, and tried to temporarily distract Naruto with a small joke.

"Ma…It does look like him to bribe death with porn in order to get back to Earth, you know…"

It worked. Naruto let out a small giggle through his tears, and Kakashi smiled fondly, proud of himself. Yet of course, he knew that the very question he had been dreading the most was about to be asked, and he prepared himself to hear it. Indeed, Naruto's sorrow quickly overwhelmed him again, and through small hiccups, he asked the worst question he could ask Kakashi.

"I m-mean…I-Is there a ch-chance th-that he…that he still…e-exists somewhere? Is th-there a chance that…Th-that he is still…Th-there, somewhow?"

Kakashi closed his eyes and raised his head to the sky, his face contorted in pain.

That was it.

The worst question Naruto could ask.

He knew he couldn't lie to him, he had to tell him the truth, it was his duty as a sensei, but also as a friend. So he took a great inspiration, and his chest swelled under Naruto's face, swallowing his nose and lips further between its muscles.

Then, he answered.

"I won't lie to you, Naruto, to this day I honestly don't know if there is indeed a life after death. I don't know if Jiraiya's soul is still there somewhere. But not knowing is precisely what gives us hope, you know? Not knowing make us hope that the memories we cultivate in our heart will somehow keep the person we lost alive. I know that it sounds stupid but… I truly believe that you can become immortal if someone still thinks about you in this world, if someone still loves you even in the afterlife. That's what I believe. And maybe…Well maybe that flame you will keep alive in your heart will one day be what will reunite you with the people you lost when you join them."

Naruto sniffed and disengaged both his arms from the blanket to wrap them around Kakashi's torso, in a silent, loving gesture. Kakashi knew that the blonde couldn't find the words to express his feelings, and he just tightened both of his arms around Naruto's shoulders, hugging him fiercely. He knew that they were both thinking about the same thing. He knew that they were both thinking about how they would cope with each other's death one day. He knew they were both wondering how they would cope with Sakura and all of their dearest friends' deaths. And he knew none of them had the answer to that question, so they just kept hugging each other, trying to engrave that moment into their hearts and souls so it could be immortal. They kept holding each other without saying anything, because words were ephemeral, whereas feelings could maybe last forever. At this precise moment, whereas none of them knew what was waiting in the afterlife, both of them fiercely wanted to believe that the love they were feeling for each other would someday reunite them beyond death.

And maybe believing was the key.

After another long, silent moment of tenderness, Naruto sighed into Kakashi's chest.

"Sensei?"

"Yes, Naruto-chan?"

"How are you going to live without knowing the end of _Icha-Icha Tactics_?"

Taken aback for a moment, Kakashi's eyes widened, but then he threw his head backwards and let out a hearty, sincere laugh, before feigning a solemn voice.

"Ma, that is probably going to be the hardest ordeal of my entire life, but I'll manage."

He took Naruto's face into his hands and slowly disengaged it from his pectorals to raise it towards his own.

"And you will be here to help me cope with it, ne, Naruto?"

Naruto wiped his face in his hospital gown and had a feeble smile.

"Hai, sensei, I'll be there for you, you can count on it", he answered with sincerity, diving his red and plouchy eyes to Kakashi.

Kakashi smiled.

"As I will be there for you, all the way. I promise." He whispered.

Naruto had a beautiful, moved smile, and he wrapped his arms again around Kakashi's neck.

"Thank you, sensei. Thank you so much for being there for me." He whispered.

Kakashi frowned solemnly and hugged Naruto to him.

"You're very welcome, Naruto."

They remained embraced for a few more seconds, then Kakashi sighed.

"Okay, we'd better head back to the hospital…"

"Wait…Just…There's one last thing I have to do." Naruto said.

The blonde disengaged from the hug. He turned to the tombstone, and lowered his eyes to the popsicle that was still in his hand. Slowly, he laid it down next to the second one that was already resting on the Jiraiya's grave, putting them close enough so that they touched each other. He remained there a few instants, crossing his hands on his heart, bowing his head, his eyes closed. Kakashi waited until he was ready, respecting his moment of reverence.

While he was observing him, the jounin was suddenly struck by the beauty of the scene. Naruto was kneeling before the grave, and the rays of the dawn were bathing him in a warm, rosy light, making his hair shine like pure gold. His face was solemn, but it seemed more appeased, and somehow wiser. Something, again, shifted in Kakashi's heart, yet it was way too soon for him to realize that his feelings for Naruto were slowly, progressively changing more deeply that he could ever imagine.

Then the blonde opened his eyes again and stood up, a soft smile on his tired face.

"All right, I'm ready-ttebayo".

Kakashi ruffled his hair, and then came to bend in front of Naruto, inviting him on his back, like an old ritual.

"Lean on me, Naruto-chan." He said.

Naruto climbed on his back and wrapped his arms around his neck, pressing his cheek against his back and closing his eyes, letting out a satisfied sigh. Kakashi smiled softly. It seemed to him that he hadn't carried Naruto on his back for years, and he had missed it a lot. He adjusted Naruto's position, and started walking away from the grave.

"All right then let's go back before Sakura wakes up and blows the hospital up. She's been particularly pissed off when she found out you had disappeared, I must warn you that your ass is in for a serious beating...Well so is mine, I guess…"

"What? What did you do?" Naruto asked.

"Errr well let's say that I have mmh…Well I had to put her to sleep somehow. The same way I put you to sleep when you woke up in my arms last morning. I guess it's becoming a habit with you two!" Kakashi chuckled.

"Ehh?! What are you talking about ttebayo?"

Kakashi stopped in his tracks.

 _Oh right. I haven't told him about that famous morning._

He blushed hard and laughed awkwardly.

"Hahahaha, maaaa, I guess that's a long story."

"Tell me, ttebayo!"

"Later!"

"Kakashi-sensei!"

"I said, I will tell you lat…Ouch! What was that for?!" Kakashi asked as Naruto had punched him in the head.

"That's because you're being an ass. Now tell me."

 _Oh boy, I am doomed._

Kakashi sighed, but his entire being was being flooded with light and happiness, as he now knew one thing for sure. Even though the journey would be long and difficult, his Naruto was back.

While they were walking away, their souls closer than ever, they left behind them the two popsicles on Jiraiya's grave.

Slowly, they started melting together…

…until they finally joined as one, under the rising sun.

 **THE END**

 _ **That's it, Popsicles is now finished. Thank you so much for having followed the story from the beginning, thank you for your encouragements and compliments. I truly hope you liked that story, as I personally had a lot of pleasure writing it. I'm sad it's over lol, but I do have many other ideas in mind, and Kakashi and Naruto will never stop loving each other anyway *hearts everywhere*. See you guys, and take care of yourselves until next time.**_


End file.
